Pain addict

Like a paper in flames I burned out.
I’ve let my mind drag me to the ground.
I let it control how I feel and I’ve let it
poison the life in me.

Hurtful words started to find their way
out of my mouth and like an addict I fed
on the pain and it was my drug. Like a fly
I got stuck in the spider net and I’m not trying
to free myself.

This great shadow raised itself from my eyes
and covered the world I used to love. Even if
I ran a thousand miles I’d still feel it like a ghost
creeping upon my thoughts.

Sometimes I wake up at the dawn and
let the sunrise fill my head with hope but
the magic disappears from my reach and
I realize I can’t push it down, I can’t hide
what’s in me. I became such a pain addict.

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