overly devoted

I never thought it to be possible
to love someone so much that it is too much.
Being able to meet in the middle was never my strong suit
it was either all or nothing in my book.
I could never love a little
or love with only 75% of my heart.
Love meant devoting the entirety of my time
appreciating you, adoring you, and practically worshiping you.
While I falter and reveal my true feelings
where I am at my wits’ end begging for someone to hold me
to guide me
to really look at me
I am still thinking of what I could do to please you.
Like an over-watered plant, you begin to wither and die out in my very arms
Drowned by my attentiveness to keep you happy, satisfied, and bright.
I only want what is best for you
because, for some twisted reason, I can never find the capacity to want the best for myself in return.

None of this is your fault
my eagerness to please you and spoil you was never your doing.
Perhaps I spoil those I love to ensure that they will never leave me.
Perhaps I pray that one day I, too, will deserve the same devotion.
With tired arms from holding you so tight to my heart
and tired eyes from falling into the grasp of your beautifully blue stare
I feel like I have attached myself to you
and I am feeding you with my life, my love, and everything else that is left within me.
I have found myself to be
overly devoted.

Hi, I’m “Jane”. I am a bookworm, chocolate fiend, and beach fanatic. Blogging is my medicine. My site is somegirlyouknow.wordpress.com

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