Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!
Today I decided to speak about something very close to my heart which is dealing with emotions and stress. I suck at it.
From a young age I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I understand that my upbringing in domestic violence took its toll on me but to this day I still am very bad at handling my emotions, expressing them (even with poetry) and addressing issues that cause me stress.
A lot of people have this problem which is why I decided to honestly speak about this, especially the cheap Band-Aids we use for a temporary fix. I started writing while I was a kid and this problem started. I would be locked up in my room while I was alone with my father and, since there wasn’t much to do for a kid between four walls, I would write everything from poetry, short stories to attempting to write actual books. And I just want to state that I did not have a computer then, all was done by hand. I had like a million notebooks. This did ease my emotions and the stress a bit but I never adopted a healthy way to deal with my emotions.
Around the time I abandoned writing all together for a few years, I started to go out, smoke and party. I started to smoke around the time I was 16. Cigarettes helped me relax, get my head straight and calm down if my nerves were getting the best of me. I know it’s an unhealthy habit but as I said, these were all quick fixes, I just wanted to instantly feel better about the world. I had my last cigarette more than two months ago and I am still struggling not to fall into this old habit.
Another quick fix for me is binge eating. I know that I maybe don’t look like someone who has problems with food, but I do. I could do a whole post about this so I am not getting to much into it now because we all know what binge eating is. (if you want that post, let me know).
This blog has been a great help for me in dealing with my emotions but I still do not have a healthy way to deal with them. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to my mental health which is why I believe people need to talk about it more. People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare. I am not calling people bad parents but I have a feeling that people are not being thought from a young age how to address and give a voice to all of the feelings which go on inside of them which is why, when we are older, we resort to unhealthy ways to deal with our emotions such as smoking, drinking, eating, violence and drugs. If I had any say in what the world should be like, I would put the subject “Handling emotions” to kids in school.
We ignore how we feel, go above and beyond to hide our emotions and they just go wild inside of our heads. Not being able to handle one’s emotions can leave us clinging to unhealthy relationships because not voicing our opinions and expressing our emotions became normal to us.
Well, this is just my opinions about this. What do you guys think – do people know how to handle their emotions, did you find yourself somewhere in this post? Tell me all about it in the comments and also let me know what you would like to read about in the next Coffee Date.
Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna
Hey Luna, I too have lots of notebooks full of writing. Emotions can get the better of anybody, and it is hard when my own get out of control. It is good to have people around you to help bring you back to a steady state. Thanks for sharing a coffee with me this morning, and I hope you have a beautiful day.
Thank you. Have a great weekend!
I agreee!!! Kids should totally have a “handling emotions” class. I work with kids frequently and I have noticed that a lot of their frustrations come from not understanding how to process emotion. This post is very timely as I was feeling overwhelmed by emotions yesterday. I also love to use writing as a way to process but those quick fixes are always so tempting. Lately, I’ve realized that I mostly mask my feeling in an attempt to feel normal. Thank you for sharing, I hope that this week you are able to feel more grounded.
Thank you for your comment! I think emotions are a big question mark for a lot of us and we need to be more vocal about this issue. Have a great weekend!
Thanks for sharing. I recently saw the movie, “Blinded by the Light.” It’s about a Pakistani in England who feels overshadowed by his dad. He goes through different things but similarly he finds a way to express himself through writing. I found it so impactful and similar to your story in the sense of feeeling alone and writing to escape. I would love for you to check it out!
I suffer from anxiety and also found poetry a way to relax in a world of noise and many expectations put on you.
Thanks for your transparency and openness in sharing. 🙂
Thank you very much for commenting, I will be sure to check out the movie! I wish you all the best with handling your anxiety, I know how hard it can be. Have a lovely weekend 😀
Thank you Luna. You too! 🙂
I very much relate to this. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for reading! <3
Posts like this are so helpful.
I am very glad to hear this 😀
Thank you Luna for sharing this post! Kids and adults definitely need an outlet in expressing their emotions and we are taught from a young age to “get over it” and suppress whatever it is we are going through. Much love to you and looking forward to reading about the other topics you mentioned in this post
Thank you very much for commenting! I hate the “get over it” culture because it pushes people to numbness which is essentially not in our DNA. We are beings who feel and think and we need to have the freedom to express ourselves instead of being told to get over it or that things are not just that big of a deal.
True. ‘Handling Emotions’ should be taught in schools. It’s good of you to discover writing at a young age so you had something positive and constructive to focus on, which has helped you till now.
It has helped me too. I’m not much into trusting others enough to express my emotions to them. Blogging has helped me say what is difficult to verbalisw
I relate to this comment so much. Sometimes, before I even talk to someone about what is bothering me, I write or blog about it. It just gets me more relaxed and gives me a new perspective every time.
True. It’s your safe haven where what you say matters, no matter how imperfect it may seem
It’s quite the typical topic for some heavy discussion!
Emotional stability is definitely hard and tricky! Some parents don’t know they are causing their kids problems articulating their feelings properly so i couldn’t agree more on this one, “People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare., Lots of love Luna 🌹🙈
Thank you very much for commenting and stopping by my blog <3
Thanks Luna, nice reminders for everyone that we all have our insecurities and life-obstacles.
I love this post and the message communicated. 💚
Hi Luna,
I think your suggestion that handling emotions should be something that is taught in school is a very good idea. Society has all these expectations about who we should be and how we should act, etc., and this makes us put on masks behind which we hide our true selves. We aren’t taught how to express ourselves in an effective and honest manner. Maybe you could pitch your idea to school systems. If maybe from an earlier age people were taught effective communication strategies a lot of pain and grief could be avoided. Who knows? I really find your post to be very thought-provoking.
I am glad you liked it. The society we live in is putting a lot of pressure on people and there’s no outlet for us to use. I hope that the human part in people will be the stronger one in the end and that we will find a way to manage our emotions and take control of things before it all gets out of hand.
I definitely agree. All this modern pressure is grinding us down. It’s not natural, this stress. I spend as much time as I can taking walks in nature, writing, and spending time away from technology. I turn my phone off and don’t check my emails a few days a week. Silence is calming. I pray you have a wonderful week.
As a Kindergarten teacher, I completely agree with your idea of working on emotions in school. The common misconception is that humans naturally know how to understand and express emotions appropriately. This is not true as it is a learned skill. And when we add trauma to the mix, it is almost impossible to express how we feel. I am happy to note that in my district at least, we are encouraged to spend time on this important topic. Our School has even put it into our daily schedule. 🙂
That is so great to hear, I wish more schools did that 😊