You don’t even know I was raised in a world
where showing weakness gets you killed
which is why you are still surprised I am
unable to let you inside.
You hit me up after midnight when
I am already drowned in my nightmares.
You come and go like waves and let me
fall deeper into my denial.
I need to know you are here
to stop my mind from terrorizing me.
But even when you slam the door when you leave
you won’t hear me say: Stay.
I will just hide in my shell.