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Coffee Date: Fading Passion

What do you love?

I do not have an instant reply to this. Do you?

I asked myself this the other day and couldn’t come up with an answer. My mind was blank.

Lately I have had this burning desire to drastically change something because I need excitement and I want some unpredictability. I want to wake up and not know exactly what my day is going to be like. I started changing my diet (as documented in my Sugar-Free Diary), I have been deep-diving into my mental health problems, I started to focus on creating Youtube content, I started thinking about going back to school but it does not make me feel fulfilled. It’s like I am creating distractions in order not to think about how something is missing.

I found out what was missing on one rainy little day. My passion was missing. Puffff! Gone with the wind. I feel like the space in my soul that was reserved for that special feeling, that drive, that passion is now slowly being filled by fear, doubt, lack of trust in myself and every other negative feeling under the sun.

I remember when I was just a little bit younger than I am now, how passionate I was about life and making decisions I want to make and taking risks. I don’t know where the girl I was a few years back disappeared.

I was miserable during grad school and I just dropped out. I believed in myself enough to sign that piece of paper, leave the university without a clear path, I literally signed my way into uncertainty and I still pulled through and took care of myself. There is nothing in this world that would make me do something so risky now. I became something I deeply feared – a person surviving. This is not living. I don’t want to believe that living, that the rest of my life will be this monotonous sequence of events.

Do you feel passionate about your work? Do you feel passionate about a hobby you have or about some activity you do on a daily basis? I don’t.

I am passionate about writing, my blog and creating content but not in the way I was passionate about it before. I do not stay up late working on the blog, replying to every comment and I don’t jump overjoyed when I see a lot of comments on my post and positive feedback. It’s not that it does not bring me joy but I am so worn out by the mundane that I cannot deeply enjoy what used to bring me so much happiness.

All of the sudden, I don’t have time. Don’t ask me for what I don’t have time. I just don’t have time period. I used to make time and find time for things that were important to me, that made me excited about life and now… I don’t have time.

I even lost the time I used to always have for my blog. I know that writing is the only thing keeping me sane and I have a feeling that if I do not find a way to dedicate my life to writing, creating content that I will waste my life but still I cannot find that feeling, that drive that would make me risk it all for a chance of living from my only passion. I cannot gather the strength to just bet everything on myself, my talent, the only thing I enjoy doing. It’s not so much the problem of lacking creativity, self-doubt and insecurities. The passion is fading away and I am scared I will lose it all and that one day my dreams of writing will be a dusty memory.

What is your passion?

Thank you for being here and supporting this blog.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Latest Poem: Poem #365
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Justifying Rape Culture Make You an Accomplice
Latest #savingme: Give Women Their Rage Back
Life updates: I Might Sit and Cry in Public

13 replies on “Coffee Date: Fading Passion”

What hits first for me: unadulterated connectiveness. I’d say, your passion and your beliefs are being tested, oft prior to pending growth. I, for one, have always appreciated all the hard work your passion has done on behalf of others. Its one of many things I admire about you, and once again, Luna…Thank you!

My passion to blog waned over time, as did my passion for writing in general. How I got out of my funk was taking online courses, everything from serial killers to poetry writing to Greek mythology. The courses, and many others, were offered by universal class.com. The classes jumpstarted my writing, and I wrote several short stories, numerous poems, and started a novel. A couple of months ago, I started learning how to paint with watercolors. Perhaps you need to try something different.

My passion is writing and dancing. Though fo r the past few months I was so busy with my school and all that I didn’t get time for either of them. Now that I am free I am trying to devote all of time to these two things that make me happy. But I don’t get many visitors on my blog… nor do I have many followers. Please could you tell me how can I reach more people through my blogs. Pleaseee replyyy🙏

First off, thank you Luna for being you and for getting out of bed everyday and doing what you do. It’s always darkest before the dawn. Sometimes, we don’t know what we’re passing through, or what we’re learning from what we’re passing through until we’re completely past it. Keep going, you’re doing great. And we’re always here to support you.

Here’s to hoping you get out of this phase soon, you come out better than ever, and you look back on this and smile. Please never stop writing.

Yours sincerely,
An admirer.

Aha! I have a book recommendation. Highly, highly, HIGHLY recommend The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. I am working through it with my sisters and I bet you THIS is the thing that can help you break this slump!! Let me know if you try it!

Sometimes passion fades (not away) for a reason. a chance to reset or recharge. I love playing guitar and composing, but sometimes it feels like a chore, but when it doesn’t, it’s beautiful.

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