Poem #396

The dam broke and the water is violently  
making its way through.  
The waves are hitting me and I am not resisting. 
I am drowning and I am not fighting for air. 

I arch my back, relax my body and let it float to surface. 
I learned how to survive with minimal effort possible.  
The waves are carrying me through a sea of what ifs, 
broken promises I made to myself and all that could’ve been 
if I hadn’t lost all hope and belief in me.  

I have been tired for so long. 
I have been trying to find the culprit for so long 
and she was staring at me in the mirror.  
That disease that gave up and spread across my body. 
That menace that forced me into hiding.  
That ugly thought that eats away my value. 
That monster who has the same face as me.  

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