You wouldn’t believe how wonderful,
complex and interesting you are.
But that’s only in my head.
I had to invent stories, build excuses for you
when you didn’t think you needed any
because you were the king in your world
and you didn’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
You didn’t see the wrong in your actions
and I paved a safe way for you to live like that.
Did you ever think of me when you
went around being so disappointing?
I believed you were because in my head you were
doing it because of something that happened to you,
because someone hurt you so you hurt others,
you were sorry but you didn’t know how to say it,
you were a bit hard to understand,
you were a bit damaged just as myself
and my damage made me want to fix you.
When you slammed your fist into the wall next to my head
I held my breath and thought how you inflicted pain on yourself
to make sure I was safe.
I told myself you just lost control because of all these emotions you felt
and my mind praised you for those few inches the hand went to the left.
I’ve built you up.
I even convinced you that you were good when you doubted it.
I turned on the light to combat your darkness,
I volunteered to carry the burden so you wouldn’t be bothered
I was balancing 15 rose-colored glasses on my head and even with all of that
the man you were in my eyes had cleared a very low bar.
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