It’s my birthday today, I turned 26!
Something I know I’ve mentioned before on my blog is that birthdays give me a bit of anxiety because I struggle with confidence and always on my birthday I feel like I am just growing old without accomplishing anything meaningful or important. Since my 22nd birthday, it was never a cheerful event for me but more like a reminder that time is passing by and I haven’t fulfilled my goals.. This year it’s a bit different.
The fact that it is different, is pretty unexpected for me especially because this year I took a long break from writing, my blog, my youtube channel and I thought that this would wreck me on my birthday but it didn’t and let me tell you why.
I started therapy. I finally took that step, pushed that limit I had and decided to find help. It was very difficult to find a therapist because a lot of them were booked which was no surprise after Covid, two earthquakes, a flood etc., but I found a different way and two weeks ago I had my first session.
I only had two sessions, but it had an effect already because I started talking about everything. My biggest problem is that I never talk about what bothers me and I never open up to anyone about my past, my father, my childhood trauma. I kind of lived with it and carried it with me in silence. I was already looking for a therapist this year and was slowly giving up because everyone said they are not taking in new patients, but my body pushed back against me giving up.
Three weeks ago I suffered a major panic attack which landed me in the ER. I even fainted. It isn’t the first one I had, but it was the strongest. Unfortunately, I was in public (in a bar), but fortunately I wasn’t alone because my boyfriend and his friend were with me. God knows what would’ve happened had I been alone. The whole experience was absolutely terrifying but it pushed me forward to continue searching for a therapist. I also had some standard blood tests done and it seems that my thyroid is not doing well. I still have a few checkups to do, but hopefully it will be a false alarm.
So I ended up in therapy and the first session was cathartic for me. I did start crying and I was so nervous about going that my boyfriend had to chaperone me to the building and then he sat outside waiting for me. I wasn’t even aware of how much was inside of me until I started talking and I am not giving up this time.
I am still struggling with my intrusive, negative thoughts about growing older and everything but it isn’t as bad as it was because the accomplishment I am celebrating is that I was able to admit I needed help. I carried all of this pain, suffering, trauma with me and had I not done this, it would’ve crushed me eventually.
So cheers to my 26 years on Earth, the journey I embarked on and all that lies ahead of me!
Thank you all for still coming to my blog and engaging even thought I haven’t been around much. It means the world to me!
Love,
Luna
Oh Happy Birthday Luna. Such a pleasure making your acquaintance. I hope you have a wonderful birthday. 🎂
Oh just read the rest of your post. Panic attacks suck. I get them from caffeine. At least I know these days but it used to do my head in.
Happy Birthday Luna.
Happy Birthday hope it’s a good one! 🙂
Happy Birthday! 🎉
Enjoy your birthday. And good on you for taking those steps. Stay the path and keep strong.
Happy Birthday! May this year be filled with new hope and peace! 💚
Happy 26th Luna
Happy birthday Luna 🎂🎉
Happy birthday Luna
Have a Great and Wonderful Birthday, Luna!
Happy birthday 🎉🥰
I always look forward to reading your latest post. Happy birthday!
🥳🎉🍰🎂🎈🎁🎀💛🤗🙃🙋♂️
Happy birthday Luna!
May I also say well done on coming to terms with your anxiety, your own feelings resonate with how I felt ten years ago when I had my own struggle with mental health.
As with you, I found it difficult to talk about but once I did so, it was like a weight off my shoulders.
It was photography and my subsequent occasional blog that slowly but surely helped me find the happy place I am now in, I sincerely hope that these are the first steps in you finding yours.
Happy Birthday to you 🎂🎉
Joyeux anniversaire xx
Happy Birthday. You missed mine. Just saying…
A very Happy Birthday to you 🌺❤️🎂🍺🥃🍷🥂🍻🍹🧉🍾🍸🪅🎊🎉🛍🎀🎁
Happy Birthday, Luna! Many happy returns.
Jack
Happy Birthday, you have time Luna, you have so much time, another sixty years at least, and I’m very glad you’re opening the door to your fears and benefiting from help. The words will always be there for you. *smiles*
– Esme sending a box of sticky buns from upon the Cloud
happy birthday!
Happy Birthday, Luna!
Happy birthday!
Happy birthday girl 🙋🌻🌼🏵️🌸
Greetings, albeit belatedly, for your Birthday.
Happy Birthday Luna❤
Belated Happy Birthday Luna. You are such a strong person. Much Love. 💫
i think… all are struggling in their life journey for getting success and goals achievement 🤔….but we should not feel bad and we can encourage ourself positively and go ahead for achieving goals… never look back… right now whatever we have we should satisfy with that and for getting more do hard n smart work, impove more ourself one day we will be definitely win…😊
thnx☺
Happy Belated Birthday, Luna🎂🎉🎊🎁💐hope you enjoyed yourself
Happiest birthday to you in arrears to you Luna🎂🎂🎂
Hope you had a wonderful celebration.
Luna…..
When I was suffering such things, all I wanted was a hug from my loved ones or even some compassionate words.
But i got nothing from anyone.
You are in need, accept my compassion.
You will do great.
Tears of joy .
Happy birthday 🎂