I’m kind of homeless

Hello everyone!

Sometimes, and that sometimes happens a lot lately, I use this blog to share with you my frustrations, or something that’s bothering me. I need my blog for that tonight. I just need to vent.

So as you all know I am from Croatia, I live in Zabok and work in Zagreb which is Croatia’s capital city. Ever since I started working in Zagreb my free time has seriously suffered because I have almost none. It affected my blog and my life in general but I am not complaining about that because I really like my new job and it was my decision to get out of waitressing.

One thing I dislike about my job is the fact that there’s a shift from 3 PM to 11PM. I was supposed to work that shift this week but I exchanged shifts with one of my colleagues but I still have to do this shift tomorrow and on Saturday. Here’s why I dislike this. I have no trains after 11PM. I do not have a car and also, I forgot to mention this to you, I fucking failed my driver’s test. I have no way of getting home. I don’t have an apartment in Zagreb. The only friend I have in Zagreb is currently back home and I do not have the key to her apartment. I am homeless for the next two days. Isn’t life great?

I actually had to rent a room for those two nights so I will go to work for nothing because the money I am going to earn in the next two days is actually covering for the room expenses. MY GOD!

All of this made me realize that I have to move to Zagreb ASAP. I have spent the last week looking for a place in Zagreb that’s affordable and I found nothing. Absolutely nothing. The apartments I like are either insanely expensive, in neighborhoods that are too far away from my job or the people renting the places only allow students to move in. I don’t know how it is in your countries but here a lot of students live in apartments if they go to study in a different city. I also lived in an apartment while I was in Zadar.

I am so frustrated. I had two days off and I literally spent them refreshing ads and staring at my laptop looking for a new place. Zagreb is a type of place where someone puts up an ad for renting an affordable apartment and literally the apartment is rented out within 2 hours.

Anyways, I will be sleeping in a rented out room for two nights. All of this is just making me want to cry and live at the train station. I can’t write anymore because I need to pack my stuff for my two days field trip to… MY JOB!

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

MEMORY

A roadblock to my brain
a dagger to my throat.
I cant explain this pain
that’s why I wrote
this poem.
For you.
Only you.
I’m waving you through
like the ocean waves goodbye.
A silent memory grew
and a loud memory died.

Hey my name is Lynsey Bradshaw and I am an up and coming poet/author/real world blogger. I am 28 and in school to pursue a Doctorate in Psychology. I started out with a rough history and past and try to share my mistakes with everyone so you can take something away from them to better yourselves. Demented Humor in my posts, sometimes in my poetry. Stephen King fan forever and also love anything horror, gory or blood related.
Blog: http://misunderstoodinsanity.health.blog

Softly, Softly

The sun rises in the morning,
Spreading warmth and light over shadows,
Your love moves the same,
Spreading joy with every touch.

Even in my darkest moments,
When fear paralyses me,
And knowing creatures flicker,
Your hands hold me in the dark.

When I feel as if I am swarmed by sadness,
And overwhelmed by my own thoughts,
Your rays of sunshine pierce me,
Filling me with happiness I didn’t know I could possess

So at the end of the day,
When I am weary and sad,
I ask of you one thing;

Kiss me softly love, and hold me tight,
Surround me with thoughts of you,
As I drift into the night.

 Hi I’m Emelie! I love writing about my thoughts or experiences, and have recently started posting poems that I’ve written. I find writing very therapeutic and a great way to express myself!
Instagram: em_theginger_one

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

To The Romeo I’ve Never Had

High hopes to the sky limits

drove me through a paradise, that
I thought my inner demons,
cried in hunger for a sinful glee.

Dreams were haunted,
my mind in scattered beliefs,
dear god, ‘help me!’
was all I could say.

Feeling a bliss so galore,
the eternal suffering less felt,
buried underneath in the core of my fear
to lose a reverie — a craving.

Reality, the greatest enemy
the happiness lost, I owned;
to you who I blame, my ardent despair
let me be.

No more I seek,
a pleasure to my suffering being.
To the Romeo, I’ve never had,
farewell, my lost mirage.

-T.B.

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tharooshie/

About the Writer: Hi to all! I am Tharushi. Just a girl who craft letters to mirror her soul. I write about ranging from poetry to non-fiction. Thank you for reading my work. Hope to see you on my blog. Much love!

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

#savingme – Will you even know the real me

Yes, I’ve been run down in life.

Yes, I’ve been beaten ruthless in life too.

Yes, I am stupid.

Yes, I am undesirable.

Yes, I am a screw up.

But, why can’t you tell me something positively amazing about me for a change?

Yes, I’m not beautiful.

Yes, I am hairy, for a girl.

Yes, I am dark.

Yes, I am stupid.

I’m sorry!

But, I’m sorry, I was born that way.

Emma, you are so dumb! How did you not get this math question right?

Emma, you’re so stupid! How do you still not know math?

With all the “subtle” situations have have gone wrong, I really wonder, was everything really my fault?

Emma, I just don’t understand, what do you do all day?

With all the thoughts running through my mind of snarky sarcastic comments to blurt out back to their face, I just smile and say, lots! You simply wouldn’t understand.

Let’s say I go back to work.

Why are you working as that position?

Why is your salary only so much?

You should get another job. This job doesn’t “suit” you!

Emma, your paints are ugly!

Emma, you’re not bright!

Emma, you’re a joke!

Do something else! Everybody is laughing at you!

Whether I do something kind,  unruly, or abrupt.

Looks like the blame is still coming to me!

After everything I’ve done, and the amount of smiles I’ve gathered from others, most so from strangers

I still wonder,

What will it take, for my own to see me? The real me?

After everything, many still ask me,

But, I don’t understand, why are you sick?

Then, some on the other hand, feel, hey! It’s great that she’s sick!

She’ll die faster!

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#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

A Kiss from The Devil

Whisper kiss of yours
On my lips is crazy
You’re the devil
Sitting next to me
Covered in pure beauty
You’re so sharp & curvy
Curving the formless at me
Confronting the demons in me

Panic is summoned
Anxiety is entering
I’m now willing
To kiss your evil
To breathe you in me
Your eyes are burning
Your hunger is thirsty
Your teeth are feasting

My flesh is beasted
The blood is streaming
It’s all so dirty
My neck is tainted
The floor is painted
Your hold has tightened
But I’m not frightened
You are so enchanting

The impression of yours
Tattooed on my neck
Deep pain is agony
I want you desperately
To pain me tremendously
To draw your devil on me
With the red ink I bleed
Ecstasy is creeping

Enlightened by your devil
Tormented from head to toe
Fragmented is my peace
This picture is so lively
But if you can’t sense it
Then it’s insanely deadly
I’m loving every moment
A kiss from the devil

I am Navin and I am from Denmark. An engineer / CAD technician by profession and I’m quite passionate about it. I express myself, share my experiences and what I realize through my poems, which I publish on my blog https://navinspoems.com/

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

Poem #233

It doesn’t really hurt anymore. It hasn’t in a while.
Sometimes the memories float through my
mind and make me shiver but it doesn’t
hurt anymore. It hasn’t in a while. Sometimes
I miss you before closing my sleepy eyes and
I feel like I can feel your touch but it doesn’t
hurt anymore. It hasn’t in a while.

Years and years ago people waited for the
pain to go away, for the heart to heal and then
they were alright, but now it’s hard to clean one’s
life from a former lover’s presence. You are
virtually reminding me that you’re not mine but it
doesn’t hurt anymore. It hasn’t in a while.

To hell with pain, I can deal with that but I
can’t deal with not being able to escape your
eyes and move on with my life. You are always looking
at me from pictures, reminding me of what we
had and even thought it doesn’t hurt anymore,
and it hasn’t in a while, I’m still sitting here waiting
for your presence to go offline.

I’m waiting for your name to stop being on the top
of my messenger contacts. I’m waiting for my hand
to stop clicking your name wanting to write something.
I’m waiting for Instagram stories to stop telling me
where you are. I’m waiting for the day I’ll stop opening
them. I’m waiting for our pictures to disappear from
my gallery. I’m waiting for a day I’ll be strong enough
to delete them like you deleted me.

But it doesn’t really hurt anymore. It hasn’t in a while.