Today is the day.
I will no longer get my fix.
No doubt. No way.
Getting myself out of the mix.
I feel so free,
I am finally me.
Tired as hell,
Not feeling so well.
Distracting my brain,
Life is a strain.
Crawling out of my shirt.
One hit wouldn’t hurt.
Wait, stop! What are you thinking!!!
No drugs! No drinking!
Thinking of you…
What should I do???
Pacing a rut in the floor.
I head for the door.
Sitting in the car for an hour.
Fuck, I need a cold shower.
Water running over my head.
My mind full of dread.
Feeling so alone,
I go grab my phone.
Staring at the screen.
What would one hit really mean?
I call you, to talk me down,
But you’re gone, so in tears I drown.
One more call, now I feel like shit.
What could it hurt, I just need one hit.
My name is Jesse, I am a writer. I post both poetry and mental health pieces about my own struggles and journey on my blog here: https://oneregulardad.home.blog/
______________________________________________________________________________________________________________
If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com