Coffee Date With Luna: Breathing

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines. It’s easier to live a habit than to expose your heart to feelings. Habits are layers of protection we hold so tight to without realizing we are suffocating under them.

Even when we decide to see what’s out there, we first build a layer of lies to support our layer of habits and we explore the world knowing damn well our habits are sitting at home and waiting for us. We are not taking risks; we are just becoming bigger cowards.

But we all felt something. There was something, someone, somewhere, back in the day and it made us feel. That four-letter word we labeled as unreachable – we’ve all felt it. But then reality came knocking at our doors and we weren’t prepared. Fairytales had a happy ending but no one told us that there was a part two where the king and queen sit back to back and just stare at the wall for the rest of their lives.

As we grow older, when we meet someone who evokes a feeling in us, someone who feels genuine, reality comes knocking even sooner. She doesn’t give us a fucking chance and we decide not to fight it. It is what it is, we must do what we must do. We hide and we crawl back under our layers of habits. It’s easier to be alone than to let anyone in.

Those who listen to their heart are immoral, those who listen to their head spend a lifetime pretending they are fine.

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines.

Coffee Date With Luna: Creativity vs. Reality

Hello everyone!

And the award for the most absent blogger goes to yours truly! In the words of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again”

But I am back now. I know that usually our coffee dates are on Saturday but I guess I was so bad at blogging that I actually couldn’t keep up with my own schedule. Today I feel like talking about the actual reason why I have been so absent lately. You know I was ill for a while and then I got back to Zagreb and back to my job. And then I worked. And then I worked. And then I worked some more.

Sometimes I have a feeling like my job and becoming a “grownup” is seriously shutting down any source of creativity in me. I had some writers blocks and I know how much it sucks but this is something else. By the time I do everything that needs to be done, do my shift, stress the hell out because of my job, come home and get to my job number two I just want to get to my bed.

I feel like my life became lifeless which is causing my creativity and writing inspiration to deteriorate. Since writing has been a big part of my life since I was a kid, this feels like a whole part of my personality is just fading away. It is sometimes really scary to feel your, let’s say, childhood dreams being taken away from you because you have to do this thing called being an adult. I know I sound like a kid saying this but at the end of the day those things we dreamed of as children come back to haunt us when we start becoming everything we said we never would be.

I have been taking care of myself for a long time now, earning my money, paying my bills, just being an adult but then I stop and go to my blog. There were periods when I would publish daily and my inspiration was just at a high level and now? If I wrote about my life, it would be pretty empty. The type of poetry I write when I am feeling down and it has been like this for months now.

I thought about making some changes to turn things around, maybe even travel somewhere but then the questions start: Can I afford this, do I have any vacation days left, who would I go with since my friends are busy etc. It’s like with my creativity being gone, my brain starts to think more of obstacles than opportunities when I want to do or change something.

This isn’t the type of Coffee Date you are used to, but currently these are some very haunting thoughts I have been fighting with. Have you ever thought about this, experienced such issues? I would really love it for you to share your experience and opinions in the comment section and also let me know what you would like to discuss next in our Coffee Dates.

Thank you for reading this very weird post of just my thoughts and troubles with growing up.

Sending love and positive vibes
Luna