Coffee Date with Luna: Back to the passion

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

I hope you are healthy and safe and already guessing I will have a quarantine themed coffee date. I have noticed something happening to my mind, let say, during this time that I have been at home more, working from home and having more free time.

I have returned to what’s important to me and what is natural to me and the things I am passioned about.

This discovery came to me when I caught myself sitting on my balcony and reading “Io non ho paura” by Niccolò Ammaniti and the book (as you can tell) is written in Italian. I, without giving it much thought, googled some Italian authors to find a new book to read, downloaded this one and just spent hours enjoying it, reading it, even googled some words I didn’t know by then and then it hit me. I miss Italian and I got so caught up in my jobs and my blog that I forgot I am one big philologist at heart. For those of you who don’t know, I actually studied foreign languages, Italian and Spanish to be precise. Italian was one of my first passions when it came to my love for foreign languages.

Until that moment, when I came to the last page, I didn’t even know how much I missed this part of myself. I got so caught up in making money, taking care of myself, adulting in general that I forgot to feed my mind and my soul what it desired. I came back to my passion and it made me so happy, I felt so fulfilled and a new wave of energy came over me as if I had a good sleep and was ready to conquer the day. This little thing, this little book, coming back to the language I love so much made me feel like myself again, placed me in touch with my inner self.

I think that this is a textbook example of how small things make a difference and matter the most. I have been experiencing these revelations in quarantine a lot. Now that I am not so concerned with all of the things I have to do and all of the places I have to be at, I can actually hear myself because the noise of everyday life is cancelled now. I hope this makes sense to you guys and that you don’t think I am just losing my mind here.

I guess this was a shorter post, but I think I shared everything I wanted to. Now tell me, have you experienced this during quarantine? Did you start picking up some old hobbies, enjoying old music, giving more attention to your spiritual side?

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Body Insecurities

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

I am keeping the theme consistent with the last one and the theme is insecurities. In the last Coffee Date with Luna I decided to open up a bit about my skin and hair insecurities because insecurities are something many of us struggle with.  

One of the top insecurities people face with is linked to their body weight and body shape. We are terrorized by unrealistic beauty standards and it is in the human nature (unfortunately) to compare ourselves to those images, especially in the social media era.   

I am not a doctor, psychologist or any type of expert in the field so I will not be touching the subject of anorexia, mental health issues and obesity since I do not think other than experts should comment on this because people spread a lot of false information and negativity when they talk about things they are not educated on. 

I actually want to talk about my own insecurities about my body, weight, body shape. I struggled with it a lot. I was never overweight and, to be honest, I was underweight as a child because I had some eating issues which followed me up to puberty where I started gaining weight and my body got a certain shape. 

The thing that helped me through these insecurities was – love. It became my answer to everything and in this story it has two sides. 

With extra pounds, my insecurities started to pile on while I was in high school. I would often feel bad about not being thin, I would go on extreme diets and workout plans and developed a binge eating problem. I started to read a lot of books during high school, some of them were self help books, and without noticing the image I had about myself started to change when I got in touch with the concept of self-love. To be honest, I am still getting in touch with this concept every single day of my life. I am still struggling but I came to a point where I would never deprive my body of food or put myself on extreme workout plans I was too weak or unskilled to follow. Working out is great but going to an extreme can cause serious injuries, I should now.  

Self-love isn’t something you wake up with or can keep without making an effort. Self-love is about creating a relationship with yourself and we all know that relationships can be hard. You will have to work on it every single day. Self-love, bodywise, means choosing a healthy lifestyle instead of an extreme diet. It means loving yourself enough to feed your body with good food while not depriving it of some sweet cravings every now and then. You can work out to get abs while loving the chubby stomach you have now. This is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight.  

When you try to change your body while being fueled with hate or insecurities regarding your appearance, it will backfire on your mental health.  

As I got older, I actually became conscious of my body image issues when I started getting into my first serious relationships. My body insecurities messed with my mind and it affected my relationships because I was not comfortable with the idea of someone’s hands on me. That insecurity was not only toxic to me, but to the person I was with as well. During that time, I had accepted my body shape and implemented self-love into my life but I was just starting to realize that it wasn’t the reflection in the mirror I only had a problem with. My insecure mind created this image of how a person, in this case a boyfriend, will see me and my body and it scared me because that image was not very nice in my head.  

This is where the other side of love came to my rescue. A person I wrote many poems about, realized I would become very distant and would “wiggle” out of his hands very fast even when he wanted to only hug me. He actually realized my insecurities, and I will get really real with you now, when he noticed I would get anxious when my bra would be off. I was also insecure about being as flat as a board while everything else about me was chubby and round. I did not enjoy him putting his hand around me because I didn’t want him to feel I don’t have a flat stomach. He would sometimes lift me up while hugging me and I hated it because I thought I was too heavy for him to hold in the air. He felt those insecurities. 

He actually taught me that love will not see that what I see in the mirror. It took some time but he showed to me that love doesn’t judge and doesn’t walk around ready to measure me. Being with the wrong person, a person who judges you and tries to aggressively change you, will only feed into your insecurities. This is a good way of knowing is your relationship toxic or not. I think it is good, actually necessary, for the person who loves you to warn you about unhealthy habits etc., but actually criticizing someone and making them feel bad about themselves is toxic.  

To quote him: To my eyes you are perfect because I see more than your looks. I love every inch of you and that includes more than just skin and a body.  

At the end of the day, love is the answer to everything including our insecurities. You need to learn to love yourself and let others love you as well. Don’t tell yourself that no one will love you the way you are because there’s someone better. To the right person you are the best and you have to be the best for yourself.  

It’s all about love. 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

 

Coffee Date with Luna: Embrace your insecurities

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Today I would like to talk about insecurities, especially related to looks, because I have some and so do you. I honestly do not wish this episode of Coffee Date to be labeled as a girly episode because I think it’s discriminatory and feeds into the “macho man” narrative where men cannot have insecurities and talk openly about them because they have to “man up”. If you believe any of that stereotype nonsense, this is not the blog for you.  

Mostly, when someone brings up insecurities people first think about a few pounds they would like to lose. I had insecurities tied to my weight and body shape for a long time and it took a lot of work to get rid of them completely. I can say that today, with my 23 years, I feel very comfortable with my few extra pounds, not so defined curves and over all I just feel very comfortable in my body. If you’d like me to do a separate post about body insecurities and how I coped with them, do tell me in the comments. 

My biggest insecurities begin from the shoulders up – my face and my hair. When I say my face, I am not saying I think I am ugly. I am actually referring to my skin and my acne problem. It all started a few years back while I was at university. I have problems with my thyroid and the issues escalated one summer to the points where I started taking medication for it. My hormones were all over the place. This caused the outbreak of hormonal acne and I lost more that 20% of my hair.  

I used to have volume in my hair and it was slightly wavy because I actually had curly hair as a little girl. In one summer I lost all of that. My hair became lifeless, flat and it gets greasy in a matter of hours after washing. When I would dry it and run my hand through it, I would end up with a fistful of hair. I actually cried a few times while drying my hair because it was just hard to watch my hair fall out so aggressively. Doctors weren’t helping at all.  

And then the acne came. Doctors weren’t helping at all still. I understand it’s hard to fight such issues but I felt so awful and angry at my doctors. I gave up makeup for a solid year and a half. To this day I still refuse to wear makeup on a daily basis and put it on only for special purposes or nights out and that is hard. These acnes break out on my chin mostly, they are very red or white and my face gets very red and has that greasy shine. It is not comfortable to walk around like that especially not in a world that glorifies perfection and we live under the false social media standard of beauty. They are not around all the time, that’s the thing with hormonal acne – they break out during different parts of the month. It is a very disgusting feeling to wake up in the morning with a painful face. These acne actually hurt.  

Some of you follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog and are probably thinking that I am making this up. I am not, but on my IG pics I am mostly wearing makeup and you can’t really see my face. There are some pics, better said selfies, where if you zoom in you can see the imperfections under my foundation. My insecurities are very much visible in the fact that I never posted a makeup-less picture to my social media. That’s how much I do not like looking at my face skin. I do not photoshop my photos but I do wear makeup while taking them.  

I was told many times that I am so confident because I don’t put makeup on when going to work or grabbing a cup of coffee with friends etc. I am not confident but I do not speak loudly about it because I am scared of people then paying too much attention to my face skin. The rational part of my brain know that this wouldn’t happen. People are not standing around me judging my lifeless hair and hormonal acne and the rational part of me knows this but this is the thing about insecurities. They mess with the rational part of our brain.  

This is why you need to talk about them at least with yourself or on a blog like, well, me. Rationalize with yourself and do what’s best for you. I don’t wear makeup because it makes my skin worse and it took a lot of rationalizing to come to the point where I feel comfortable being makeup free on the daily. You have to learn how to put your own well-being ahead of people’s opinion and that voice that whispers in your ear. Giving up and giving in to your insecurities can harm your mental health and you could literally harm yourself because mostly our insecurities are about our body and the way we look. If you feed into your insecurities you will consider yourself not good enough, not lovable and people and companies who know how to manipulate your insecurities to their advantage will use them against you. I feel like I am building a conspiracy theory, but I believe you know what I am talking about. Expensive beauty procedures, strict diets, depression… The list goes on and it’s terrifyingly long (like this post) 

If you are insecure about your body or something else, it’s okay to try and change it but don’t forget to love it in the process. You can accept and love yourself while trying to change yourself.  

I could literally write on and on about this issue but I think it’s time to stop. If you would like to read more about this topic, just leave it in the comments below and also feel free to share your ideas for other Coffee Date posts. Don’t forget to let me know in the comments what do you think about this post, how do you handle your insecurities and how have you been lately. 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

Coffee Date with Luna: Staying Sane

Hello everyone!

I hope you are all well, safe and able to stay home. For those of you who have to go to work, I just want you to stay strong, keep the distance as much as you can and follow the safety guidelines.

I am going to be quite honest and say that I am losing my mind a bit. Me and my work crew even have meltdowns about how much we miss each other. I just catch myself thinking about having a coffee in a bar with my friends, walking around, even riding in a tram which is always overly crowded.

Today I just want to speak about the ways I have been keeping the little sanity I have left. My first two rules are home workouts and meditation. Home workouts really help me to let go of stress and anxiety. They are not much, but 30-45 minutes does the trick. I always try not to go more than three days without working out. Meditation helps me deal with the thoughts in my head and there are many. I know that people think that meditation is about clearing your mind and not thinking about anything, but for me is just letting the thoughts flow and letting them go.

I have also been reading. I went to the STIR UP coworking place where I work as a community manager and got myself some books which we have there. I read Steve Jobs biography and a book about Ikigai. I also have some pdf books I downloaded but the problem is I spend a lot of time in front of my laptop so it gets exhausting reading on it as well.

I have been very blessed to have the opportunity to work from home at this difficult time. I do miss being at my job, being with my work crew but whenever I get these negative thoughts, I just keep on repeating that this too will pass. It’s kind of my mantra now.

I know that this coffee date has been me rambling about my very boring life, but I think we can all use some tips on keeping sane during this quarantine. Let me and the rest know in the comments below how are you dealing with everything!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Breathing

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines. It’s easier to live a habit than to expose your heart to feelings. Habits are layers of protection we hold so tight to without realizing we are suffocating under them.

Even when we decide to see what’s out there, we first build a layer of lies to support our layer of habits and we explore the world knowing damn well our habits are sitting at home and waiting for us. We are not taking risks; we are just becoming bigger cowards.

But we all felt something. There was something, someone, somewhere, back in the day and it made us feel. That four-letter word we labeled as unreachable – we’ve all felt it. But then reality came knocking at our doors and we weren’t prepared. Fairytales had a happy ending but no one told us that there was a part two where the king and queen sit back to back and just stare at the wall for the rest of their lives.

As we grow older, when we meet someone who evokes a feeling in us, someone who feels genuine, reality comes knocking even sooner. She doesn’t give us a fucking chance and we decide not to fight it. It is what it is, we must do what we must do. We hide and we crawl back under our layers of habits. It’s easier to be alone than to let anyone in.

Those who listen to their heart are immoral, those who listen to their head spend a lifetime pretending they are fine.

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines.

Coffee Date with Luna: Coronanxiety

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

I am going to be quite honest and say that I am terrified of the Coronavirus. I am actually trying to hold it together but the fact is that Croatia is going into quarantine and all I did for the past two weeks of my leave from work was read, listen and investigate everything about the virus and the latest safety measures. My anxiety is getting worse by the minute because on Monday I have to go to my job, do an 8 hour shift, take a laptop from the company and then work from home. My working from home could last as short as a week and the thought of working in a customer care center with more than 80 people around me during a pandemic is terrifying.

I could right now write a book complaining about the way the company I am working for is handling this virus outbreak, but I am not going to.  I think that writing too much about the anxiety I am dealing with right now and writing a lot about the virus is just going to make me more anxious.

I would like to use this post so that we can checkup on each other so I won’t be writing that much. As I said, corona is giving me anxiety because of my job etc. and now tell me how are you dealing with the current situation, how is your country doing, are you keeping yourself safe? Write down in the comments how are you, if you are experiencing any anxiety regarding the virus or write a positive, encouraging message to the community! Let’s just stay present, communicate and give each other support!

Also, I was thinking about re-activating the Positivity Press during this time of crisis so if you have something  positive you would like to share with out little community send it to postpositivity@gmail.com

Any e-mails that come in for The Positivity Press will be published as soon as possible and The Poetry Bar is always open for your submissions

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: I lost three hours of my life

Hello everyone and welcome to another coffee date with Luna!

We haven’t done these in a while because I can’t keep up with my own  schedule but now that I am home for two weeks and the only thing I do is read news on Corona, I decided to stick to the schedule. Since I don’t really have an idea about what to write, I decided to do a story time!

This post in inspired and sponsored by my own damn stupidity when it comes to finances and credit cards.

I have been trying to buy a new laptop for a month and forever and finally I set my sight on one and on Thursday I took my wallet, my laptop that barely functions anymore and decided to buy myself a new laptop. This was the first time that I was purchasing something I wasn’t paying for immediately in cash. I don’t know how you call this type of payment in English but I will be paying for the laptop through 12 months and the final price of the laptop went up for 5% because I wasn’t paying for it completely when purchasing. Please tell me in the comments how you call this type of payment in English because I do not feel like searching for it #lazy

So, I registered and all and then I came to the payment section. All of the sudden I was just looking at it like an idiot because I didn’t know what to do. There was Visa, Visa premium this and that. I did what any grownup, independent woman would do. I waited for my mommy to get back home to help me.

We had a lot to do that day so we postponed the failed laptop purchase for Friday. I realized I have the Visa Premium card which allows me to divide the price of the laptop on a 12 months’ payment. By I realized, I mean my mommy told me. Then I placed the credit card details and all of that, hit the purchase button, I was all excited because I finally found the laptop I want and then BOOM! Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Two months ago when I got the premium card via mail, I absolutely ignored the fact that I actually need to activate that fucking card. I called the customer care of my bank and the lady activated the card and walked me through the steps of downloading the app I need to pay online. I did all of that and then entered my card details again and tried purchasing the laptop. Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Since I knew that I had enough balance on my card to pay for the laptop I contacted the customer care of the web shop to see if there was some issue with the site or if maybe the laptop was out of stock.

They used the line I use at my job a lot: Call your bank, there’s an issue with your payment method. I was angry. I spent two hours trying to order the laptop. Then I went to that app I had to download and realized that there was no balance on that card. My other two card are linked and all of the money goes to one account. Then my dumb brain decided I can do this on my own.

I opened another app I have from my bank and transferred the amount I need to pay for the first monthly fee for the laptop to my Premium Visa. After two hours this was the first time I actually got something through. I had the confirmation that the money was transferred and all. I went to the other app to check the balance of the card and it was 0 AGAIN! I opened a chat box, called my bank’s customer service and no one was answering for 45 fucking minutes. In those 45 fucking minutes I tried to transfer the money two more times. So keep in mind that I tried to transfer 600 kunas (Croatia currency) from my bank account to my Visa Premium three times.

I finally got someone on the chat and the lady told me that the money will be visible on my Premium on Monday because all money transfers done after 3PM on Friday are visible on Monday even if I transfer money to my own card.

I was not happy so I took my not happy ass to the bank. I waited for half an hour there and when I finally got to talk to a really nice lady I explained what I did. Essentially I transferred the money three times and it will be visible on Monday, she cannot cancel the transfers, I won’t be able to transfer the money by myself back to my account and I will have to call that customer care that doesn’t answer to transfer the extra money back to my other account. So to sum up, I spent three hours of my life to be told I fucked up and that I will have to spend another two hours (probably) on Monday to fix this issue and I swear to God that if that laptop will be sold out on Monday I will be very angry at someone. Not myself for not knowing anything about credit cards, money transfers and payment methods but at someone.

So, there’s my story time. This is what I did for most of my day yesterday. It was not fun. At all.

How is your week going guys, how will you be spending your weekend? Are you staying safe, healthy and washing your hands often?

Also, what would you like to read more of in our Coffee dates? I actually through of making this story time a video but I am kind of shy to do it because I hear my voice on a video once and guys, it does not sound nice.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna