Coffee Date with Luna: Self-reliance

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Have you ever looked at someone and thought to yourself how that person has just got everything handled, they are always on top of their game, they take care of everything and still have time to be there for their friends?

If the answer is yes, I would like to advise you to check up on that friend/girlfriend/boyfriend/sister/brother etc.

People who are very self-reliant tend to forget to ask for help. They do not want to be a burden to anyone or they just don’t know how to show their weaknesses or share their struggles. They become so used to taking care of themselves, that they don’t know how to reach out when the going gets rough.

Yes, most of the time self-reliant people don’t need anyone and they got their life handled, but everyone breaks. Everyone needs to hear that everything is going to be okay, they need someone to hug them, help them out or just be there for them in some way.

It’s unfortunate when self-reliant people reach out, tell someone about some issue they have been having and the reply from the other side begins with “I am sorry to hear this” and then they start talking about themselves and their problems, experiences etc. because they do not perceive the person on the other side as someone who has needs or is seeking help and support.

I think that self-reliant people are very strong and capable of achieving a lot of things but every now and then they need a “Did you eat?”, “Text me when you get home”, “Something seems wrong, do you want to talk about it”

Check up on your friends. Call them, send a message, invite them out for coffee, try to understand them and be there for them when needed.

This was a rather short post, but I felt like talking a bit about these types of people. I hope you liked the post and that you will tell me in the comments what would you like to read about in the next Coffee Date with Luna.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: FOCUS

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

I spoke in a post this week that I am feeling a bit stressy depressy because I am struggling in my career and many other areas of my life. Things haven’t been going smoothly lately, I feel that my health is also deteriorating because of this. I am one of those people who will have general life problems and they will just project onto my health but I am working on this.

I am not here to tell you I am stressy depressy. I am here to tell you that I am done focusing on this and so should you. If there are, let say it, “black” areas in your life, a lot of negativity and problems and if you only focus on those then that will be all there is. Get your mind out of that dark place. I am not one to tell you to ignore any signs of negativity or depression in your life. I think it’s important to asses a situation and to know when your mental and physical health are in danger because it’s the only way to protect yourself and save yourself BUT – don’t let that be all there is.

Sometimes, when we are struggling the most, something good happens and we ignore it because we are so busy and overwhelmed with focusing on every negative aspect of our life. Turn the situation around. If you are struggling with your career or job, instead of focusing on the bad things, focus on having a job and being grateful for it while finding ways to improve your situation. I think this example says a lot about what I am actually trying to tell you.

Don’t let those bad thoughts invite more negativity into your life. Just try to find that positive event, that person that is making your life great or better – be the person that’s making your life great! You can achieve this by being grateful for what you have, seeing the negativity in your life and working on ways to make it better, turn it into something positive.

We are all battling our demons on a daily basis and we all have our reasons to do the things we do but without recognizing the good in our lives, we are letting those demons get the best of us.

Coffee date with Luna: Man, not an ATM

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today might be the day I receive backlash from some people because of my opinions but I do not care that much. It’s my opinion. You have the right to not agree with me.

Men are not walking ATM machines. Stop treating them like that. In the dating culture it is expected for the man to pay on the first date and it’s normal for me too. I am not going to lie, I expect it as well but the issue comes after the first date. There is a significantly increased amount of women and young girls who use dating as an excuse to get free food, drinks and gifts. I am not ranting about trends such as being a sugarbaby etc., I am actually referring to women taking advantage of men without them knowing that.

When you are a sugarbaby, the person paying for your lifestyle knows how the relationship works because it is consensual. What I do not approve of is girls dating guys, leading them on for their own personal gain. If a guy has a crush on you, likes you, asks you out, don’t use him to get free stuff, drinks and dinners. It’s time for these girls and women to learn that men are not here to be exploited.

I also think it’s inconsiderate of women to lead men on for personal gain. You are actually using someone’s love for you or affection to get something you want without considering you are giving him false hope. These situations always end up with someone being hurt, and it’s just not worth it.

As a person who has a full time job, I know how much I have to work to get my paycheck and I think it would actually be selfish and ignorant of me to date a guy and expect him to pay for our drinks, food, movie tickets etc. I am maybe the last person who should be writing about this since I have no social life and am not dating anyone because I am dating my job and blog, but this has always been my personal opinion.

I understand that guys are under the pressure that they need to pay for every date but that shouldn’t be the case. I am speaking from my own example. If I like a guy and I want to spend time with him, get to know him, I will always try to be 50/50. Some guys have been embarrassed when I would pay for our drinks and I understand their point of view but, according to me, men need to start respecting themselves more in this area. If a girl pays for drinks or something else, it is not insulting. It just means that she doesn’t mind paying because she is not there to get something – she is there to be with you.

There you have it. I am the girl that gets guys in uncomfortable positions and pays on dates. Probably, one of the reasons why I am single as a pringle.

I am sorry about not posting that much in the last few days but my laptop has been acting out lately. He just randomly crashes or shuts down but I am looking for a new one so I can work in peace.

Do share your thoughts on this subject with me and let me know what would you like to read about or discuss in the next Coffee Date with Luna! Can’t wait to see your comments and suggestions.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: Handling emotions

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today I decided to speak about something very close to my heart which is dealing with emotions and stress. I suck at it.

From a young age I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I understand that my upbringing in domestic violence took its toll on me but to this day I still am very bad at handling my emotions, expressing them (even with poetry) and addressing issues that cause me stress.

A lot of people have this problem which is why I decided to honestly speak about this, especially the cheap Band-Aids we use for a temporary fix. I started writing while I was a kid and this problem started. I would be locked up in my room while I was alone with my father and, since there wasn’t much to do for a kid between four walls, I would write everything from poetry, short stories to attempting to write actual books. And I just want to state that I did not have a computer then, all was done by hand. I had like a million notebooks. This did ease my emotions and the stress a bit but I never adopted a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

Around the time I abandoned writing all together for a few years, I started to go out, smoke and party. I started to smoke around the time I was 16. Cigarettes helped me relax, get my head straight and calm down if my nerves were getting the best of me. I know it’s an unhealthy habit but as I said, these were all quick fixes, I just wanted to instantly feel better about the world. I had my last cigarette more than two months ago and I am still struggling not to fall into this old habit.

Another quick fix for me is binge eating. I know that I maybe don’t look like someone who has problems with food, but I do. I could do a whole post about this so I am not getting to much into it now because we all know what binge eating is. (if you want that post, let me know).

This blog has been a great help for me in dealing with my emotions but I still do not have a healthy way to deal with them. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to my mental health which is why I believe people need to talk about it more. People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare. I am not calling people bad parents but I have a feeling that people are not being thought from a young age how to address and give a voice to all of the feelings which go on inside of them which is why, when we are older, we resort to unhealthy ways to deal with our emotions such as smoking, drinking, eating, violence and drugs. If I had any say in what the world should be like, I would put the subject “Handling emotions” to kids in school.

We ignore how we feel, go above and beyond to hide our emotions and they just go wild inside of our heads. Not being able to handle one’s emotions can leave us clinging to unhealthy relationships because not voicing our opinions and expressing our emotions became normal to us.

Well, this is just my opinions about this. What do you guys think – do people know how to handle their emotions, did you find yourself somewhere in this post? Tell me all about it in the comments and also let me know what you would like to read about in the next Coffee Date.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: Being pretty is not a career

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna.

Today we will be discussing something I never talked about that much on my blog and it’s social media. Those of you who follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog know that I am pretty active on my IG, I post almost every day, put up Instagram stories etc., which is why I believe that I do understand the platform as well as other social media networks. For me all social media is just a way to promote my blog, The Poetry Bar, I also do have a certificate in Digital Marketing and plan on making a career out of it with time so you can say that I do love social media but…

What bothers me regarding social media is the fakeness people are selling. I understand that you are always trying to look your best on pictures and give out the impression that you are living this fabulous lifestyle and I think we all got used to that but my problem is with the dream social media sold to people which states: You can make your looks your whole career.

You know what I am talking about. This especially affects young girls. They are under the impression that if they look a certain way and are physically attractive that they can make money off their pics and not have a single care in the world. I am so annoyed by these types of people. This is not a jealousy rant because I could never be an Instagram model. I just think that the rise of this social media models/influencers trend has taken a toll on education and people’s physical and mental health.

People are under the impression that they have to have a certain body type, be in shape, with big lips and a huge ass in order to be beautiful and successful on social media. Let me voice my opinion here very clearly: Looks will fade and Instagram will not pay for your bills then – get some skills in life other than taking good selfies.

I just think that all of these models and influencers have very big platforms they could use for good such as promoting a healthy body image, volunteering, raising awareness about important issues rather than selling a fake, unattainable reality. I love people who, next to running successful social media accounts, have blogs, make videos – are in general content creators and use their platforms to do good and actually made a full time job off of them and this is not referring to those people. This is actually my opinion in regards to people who only pose for pictures and expect others to worship them because they look a certain way. And don’t even get me started on photoshop and other tools used to manipulate their body in images.

This trend which has taken over our lives in the past few years, doesn’t seem to come to an end. I do like the way that social media has given everyone a voice and a platform to share their skills and opinions but some people just take it too far. They claim themselves to be influencers to demand free stuff from smaller brands, they threaten companies with “exposing them” on social media if something isn’t the way they want it to be, expect brands and larger companies to break their policies in order to suit their needs, believe they have the right to eat and drink for free in restaurants and bars if they take a pic there – just like what the actual fuck?

If a brand, company, restaurant, bar or a hotel invites you in, offers you something for free, wants to collab with you then that is okay, it’s their choice, they appreciate you and think you would be good for their business, but actually demanding them to do so because you have a few thousand followers on Instagram is disrespectful, immature and if I was an owner of a company and you did that to me I would take the conversation public and ban you from ever entering my company. Your Instagram pictures do not pay employees who do the work to make your, per example, stay at a restaurant pleasant. Likes on Instagram won’t provide for a waiter who brought you drinks. Just in general, if you are not an actual content creator your social media platform doesn’t even offer good exposure for companies or makes them any profit.

I really went off topic here a bit, but I think you get my point. I am just generally not supporting this trend that has been spreading for years across the world because it’s making people entitled and lazy as hell.

What is your opinion on this matter and what are your views on social media trends?

Also, what would you like as a topic for the next Coffee date?

Can’t wait to read your comments!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffe Date with Luna: Gratitude

We are wrapping this year up with gratitude as we did last year. I gave you a few days to tell me what you are grateful for in 2019 and we have a pretty collection of pretty comments which you can read.

In order to say goodbye to 2019 on my blog, I just want to tell you all that the support I received in all of my projects and my blog in general this year has been absolutely amazing. I love the way you have made this a safe community for everyone to speak up and share their work here. You all show so much love in the comments to other fellow bloggers and writers that I am more and more grateful with each day for The Poetry Bar and for finally putting my heart and soul into this blog.

To be quite honest, all of you have been great friends to me in a year when my life was flipped upside down when it comes to my job, career, mental health, friendships and relationships. I often would feel alone when I was going through a hard time but that feeling became significantly smaller when I decided to share my thoughts, poetry and everyday life with you here.

For 2020 I want this community to grow and I want you to always be strong, even when you face hard times, to always stay positive and find light in everything. To all my fellow writers, I hope you all get book deals and remain being creative and wonderful artists. As for 2019, I can say I will remember it for slapping me in the face and making me stronger, wiser, more determined to succeed and it taught me that I can do more and that I am more that I think. I still have a long way before I embrace myself and everything I am capable off but 2019 surely made me face my fears and made me a better person.

Okay, I am done now. Here is what you all have been grateful for:

I am grateful for a loving family!  – https://southernwriter122051046.wordpress.com/

With coffee in hand, here goes…
I have much to be grateful for in 2019: a fulfilling career, a roof over my head, a warm bed, food on the table, good health, wonderful family, great friends, and someone special who has recently come into my life. I am also grateful that I get to give back to my community on a daily basis by helping those struggling to get by. I am grateful for this writing community where I get to share words with other creative types.
For 2020, I want to continue on this positive, forward moving path. I hope to be able to give more while continuing to make more great memories with those I love and connect with. Wishing you a wonderful end to this year and a beautiful year ahead!
https://surrealisticdreams.home.blog/

Grateful…hum always so hard when you live with anxiety and depression. But I’m grateful for the necessities. Both my wife and I are employed, we have an apartment and a wonderful cat. Despite the loss in key family and some illness in hers, family is still important. She’s still crafty and I’m still artsy. Goals for 2020: Find more fulfilling employment, continue on my weightless journey, go to that nudist resort on my 50th even if I haven reached my weightless goal, pay off credit cards, call friends more often and change my blog up a bit. https://aprolificpotpourri.wordpress.com/

I am grateful for my loving wife and family, health, a roof over my head, enough food to eat, retirement and the freedom it brings to travel in my own city, country and outside my country.
I have never been one to make New Year’s resolutions, but, this year I hope to make some progress in volunteering, reading, playing my mandolin and spending time with family and friends.
Here is my blog link https://blographytoo.photo.blog/

I am grateful for my family and the opportunities God opened for me this year. http://phiemyndz.wordpress.com/

I am grateful for the WordPress community in 2019 who supported me, enriched my life.
My goal for 2020 is to be with my love ones doing the most mundane and yet most extraordinary life together. http://flickerofthoughts.com/

One of the things I am grateful for are people like you : wonderful , kind, hard working , with dreams and with a drive to make them happen . https://andradal.wordpress.com/

I am so very grateful for my wife who grew up in the same story as yours. Thank you for having the strength and the writing skills to help lead others out of the darkness. https://mewe.com/i/garyedwards11

I finally got a job this year after a lot of struggle. It makes me independent, now I don’t have to remain dependent on others for money which is a very important thing in life as we need money for almost everything. I am grateful for all that I have.
Here is my blog https://believestrong.wordpress.com

I’m grateful for life. And everything in it. http://cityjackdaw.wordpress.com/

Family, friends and time spent with them is a the top of the list. Also, strolls in the sand at the beach.
A well made taco is uber-important!
After taking off a year from uploading photographs to my print site…I will start again with regularity. http://photographicimpressionistic.wordpress.com/

Coffee Date with Luna

Hello everyone and welcome to the first Coffee Date with Luna!

Like my cup says, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE AND MORE COFFEE!

Today, I will actually be recreating a post I did last year around this time and it’s in regards to being grateful. This year I had a really lovely Christmas with my family which is not something I thought possible 10 years ago. I was very open an honest about my domestic abuse story. My father was an alcoholic and he had mental health issues and he would beat us up, verbally abuse us and the cops were no strangers to us even on Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning. I don’t want to get into this story, I have a few posts about it but it’s important for this now.

So instead of being locked up in a room with my mother and sister with little food to eat and no Christmas tree this year we had two Christmas trees, happiness, freedom, a lot of food and we even went to Church together. I am not a person that goes to church but I know it’s important to my mom and I am happy she got that wish fulfilled this year.

As someone who grew up in domestic abuse and borderline poverty I never thought I would have a job that paid well, an apartment, a bachelor’s degree and all of the other things I have today. To be quite honest, I am grateful I made it out alive from my childhood.

Here’s where my copying of the last year post comes to life. Since the end of the year is close, let’s be grateful. We did this last year, remember?

I would like you to list things you are grateful for in your life in the comments and, for this year’s edition of gratefulness, you can also write down your goal or goals for the upcoming year. Let’s spread some love, positivity, support and gratefulness in that comment section!

I am going to start with the things I am grateful for this year: my family, my jobs, having the courage to pursue a different career path, all of you lovely followers here on Luna, walking away from people who were bad for my mental health, ummmmm… If I have some more, I’ll add in the comments.

My goals for 2020: building a career in digital marketing, working on myself as a person, strengthening our community here on Luna.

Let me hear you now! I can’t wait to read what you are grateful for and what your goals are for 2020. Since, like I did last year, I will make a blog post before New Year with all of your comments, make sure to also leave your blog link in the comment so I can tag you on our Gratitude post 2019!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna