Poem #114

I need one hell of a story.
One hell of a love story.
I need it to be wild, irresponsible,
spontaneous, unpredictable.
I guess poets sometimes just can’t
settle for normal, settle for settling.

I don’t need it to be perfect, I need
it to be real in all of its flaws.
I need the screaming and the kissing
and the crying and the late night heavy breathing.

I need one hell of a story.
One hell of a love story to become my
ink, my inspiration, my new poem collection
because love without verses is such an ordinary
sad, sad feeling.

 

Poem #109

The letters of the road signs formed
your name in front of my face. Every
stranger carried your smell. I was looking
for any sign, excuse to contact you again.

Do you know what’s it like to bathe in fear?
The shower is burning hot and it doesn’t stop.
I am not scared of falling back into my old habit
of you. I am scared that after you no one will
be enough, that no one will love me like you.
I still can’t afford to lose you.

 

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Quote

From Shy love

Come on shy love, don’t look away.
A few hidden looks won’t get us
anywhere. Wouldn’t it be better
if you sat next to me and told me your
name? God knows where this could lead,
maybe it will be a true romance.

Poem #68

Wouldn’t I refuse to breathe if
I refused to write?
Wouldn’t they stop my heart if they
took my pen away?
Aren’t they making fun of me by laughing
at the verses I so impulsively write?
What would I be without this little gift
and curse of never ending flow of words?

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Starve that bastard

Every single person in this world has an ego. It’s a part of all of us. I perceive it as an animal. When you have a small ego it means you have a small animal which doesn’t have to be fed a lot. In this state you have a lot of space inside your life to do what you love, have understanding and respect for other people and you are capable of being happy for other people. This is a beautiful state to be in. Having this small animal to feed isn’t time consuming and exhausting. It’s like a small puppy.

When your ego is big it means you have a big animal and that is a problem. People who find themselves in this state have a very large animal they have to feed. Their life revolves around keeping their animal fed and giving it even more food so that it would be satisfied. This state is time consuming and exhausting, even though people who find themselves living this life constantly lie they are okay and that their life is just perfect. People like this do not respect anyone, including themselves and the person they hate most is themselves. I know that everyone says that people with a big ego love themselves more than anything but when you look at it better that’s not true. A person that loves himself doesn’t allow his ego to grow into a wild beast that manipulates their life.

These types of people can’t feel true happiness for their friends, loved ones or other people because being happy for other people would mean that other people have something good in their lives which would consequently make the people with the wild beast ego feel unhappy because potentially they don’t have that something good or that something good will make what they have look small and insignificant. Often these people go to great lengths to humiliate other people, put them down, criticize everyone just to feed their own ego and hide their own insecurities and let me tell you something – this is no way to live. I know it because I used to have a big ego.

I’ve heard the term “Burst that bubble and put your feet on the ground”. First of all, a big ego is not a bubble. It’s a high security prison guarded by that wild beast we need to feed so that it wouldn’t harm us. If it were a bubble then all you would need to burst it would be a needle. In reality, you need a whip to control the animal, you need to starve that bastard and you need a hammer to break down the wall and escape. It’s so hard but the end goal is so beautiful. The end goal is that small puppy you don’t need to feed a lot and who doesn’t like puppies?

There is so much bliss in making your ego small, in learning how to love yourself for who you are and gaining respect for other people. Putting others down won’t make you fly higher but recognizing that we are all equals will make your wings wide enough to hug the whole world.

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Poem #63

If I had known I was only going to be
a trophy I would have made you work
harder for my love but I guess it wasn’t up to me.

We just clicked together but differently.
To me it clicked that I finally had someone who
isn’t going to leave and to you it clicked
that you had another exhibit for your
“the women I allegedly loved” collection.

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Quote

From Let me in

I don’t know if it’s better to leave or fix this mistake.
Should I say sorry or just get lost since my presence is
only making you feel worse. If I could I would erase any trail of his hands on me. I would scrape this skin of if it would mean you’ll forgive me.

Moment of weakness was all it took for
me to be knocking on your door, begging you
to let me in. Guess I deserve to be left outside alone.
I just want you to know that I regret everything.
Open up, please let me in.

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