Poem #332 – Purge

You wake up with nausea and dizziness 
but not with the will to wake up.
Go through the day not feeling like yourself,
you are selling your soul to the devil and that
devil is the world you are trapped in.
At night, before bed, you are in the shower for hours. 

You are trying to purge the sin from your body with water
as if you just stepped out of a Bible while in reality
you have been questioning the existence of God
for years now. You turn the water off, your body is burning
but for a moment there you feel clean. 
You promise yourself that in the morning it will be better. 

You wake up with nausea and dizziness 
but not with the will to wake up.
You are already late so you do not have time to
have a shower to see if the magic works in the morning as well.
You slap on a smile to avoid the questions, not realizing
this fakeness is eating away at your soul. 

The poet inside of you invites you to write the feelings down,
he whispers in your ear that they are bottled up.
So you try to purge that thing out of your body with
words and verses for yourself or for the world to read,
laugh at, call you crazy because of that. 
But for a moment there, it empties your mind. 

It’s all for moments, nothing lasts.
You cannot purge something rotten that grew inside.
You can only heal it but you are too weak from trying 
to purge it out as if a broken heart can be purged.
You are just tired and want to close your eyes
but the demons never sleep.  

Poem #331

Just come home.
This is not in a selfish way, I am not
asking you to come back to me.
I am asking you to come home. 

To the home that doesn’t have a roof
or 4 walls.
To the home where you feel safe, 
no matter where it is.
Just come home. 

The lines and the smoke won’t 
ease that mind. You need to come home.
There is safety in the light,
there can be peace in the dark.
Just come home. 

Poem #330

I do not need you.
I have been through hell and back,
got out by myself.
I shower in burning hot water
to make my skin remember of how
much I am capable of.

I do not need you.
I learned the hard way to stand
on my own two feet.
My knees still bleed, the bruises
pulsate but it doesn’t stop
me from getting up every day.

I do not need you. I want you.
I want you to kiss every wound,
touch every weakness.
You look like you are smart
enough to know what type of
blessing that is.

Poem #328

If your soul craves art
like your body craves air
it means that he stole your peace.

You let him tear down the walls
of your museum and destroy
your books and paintings and melodies

Don’t follow him into the dark.
Let him have those ruined paintings,
ripped out book pages and distorted melodies.

You are strong enough to build a new masterpiece.

Poem #326

We aren’t of those who want
to conquer the world.
We would build one ourselves.
But what is that good for if
we are playing the hurting game?

Who is going to let his trauma
win over love first?
Which one is going to self-destruct
and turn us into dust?

You need to know how to read
minds to know what I am saying.
I need to threaten to leave
to get an ounce of your attention.

Maybe it isn’t our fault we
are too messed up to love?

Changing the blog

Hello everyone!

I wish a happy holiday to everyone, I hope you are having a wonderful time. I know I already feel fat with all of the food my mother has been preparing lately. Also, I finally have days off work so I can be at home, with my family, rest and dedicate my time to my blog.

This last part is what I actually want to speak to you about. At the end of each year my brain, without my complete consent, starts to compare my life a year ago to my life today and I realized that my months of dedicating to much of my time and energy to my jobs and going through writer’s block has resulted in ny blog engagement and quality to decrease. The quality decrease is not referring to The Poetry Bar submissions, they are actually what keeps our community going, but the content I have been uploading is not what it was before and I feel very bad and guilty about it.

I am growing up, I do not have as much time as I had during my uni days but still this is not an excuse. I had big plans for this blog and for us as a community, I wanted us to expand and I neglected this blog because I was chasing paychecks and stressing about my jobs even when I had days off.

To sum this up, I decided to GET MI SHIT TOGETHER! Any time you feel like I am absent or that I am neglecting you, call me out on that. Write down in the comments that I am being a bad blogger again, keep me accountable for my actions.

I decided to change the blog a bit when it comes to my personal posts. I will still be posting my poetry work because poetry is life, but I will also dedicate more posts to my love for dressing up which you could have noticed on Instagram where I post my poetry works typed on my typewriter Olivia and my outfits. I am no fashion blogger but I do like dressing up because as much as I express myself through poetry I express myself through clothes and the way I look. The instagram:

https://www.instagram.com/luna.theblog/

Also, I thought of starting a little column type of thing. Before I would upload these longer posts on Saturdays where I would ramble on about stuff I thought about and wanted to share with you. Yesterday while reviewing my blog I came up with the idea to make a series called Coffee date with Luna. Here I would resuscitate those columns of mine and discuss different topics from what happens in my life to whatever you would like to read about and we would have discussions in the comment section because  I love it when you leave comments and talk to each other. I even thought of filming videos and posting them for the Coffee Date but I am not making this promise yet. I will still stick to my keyboard and not to a camera. Make sure to write down in the comments what you think about this idea and what would you like to read about during out Coffee dates!

I have seriously been rambling on in this post. Anyway, this is all I had to say blog wise for the upcoming year. Whenever I will be changing something, I will let you know. Can’t wait to see your comments!

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Poem #230

My relationships aren’t love stories.
They are twisted fairytales I wrote.
The happy ending is nowhere in sight.
I keep biting the poisonous apple because
I’ve romanticized the villain.

Positivity Press #32

Hello,

My piece of positive press is the speed that my blog page is growing. I have hit milestones way high than I expected and I couldn’t be happier to help more people

My blog page is: sweeneysblog.com. I do blogs on topics such as Stuttering, mental Health and Stress

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you want to share positivity here at The Positivity Press send in your positive news with pics and the link to your blog (if you want) to postpositivity@gmail.com

Poem #69

I had my heart broken once and I’ve been
breaking them ever since. A little retaliation
for a man’s sin. Couldn’t get back at him so I
turned against his kind. Who are you to call
me a monster if in my shoes you never walked
a mile?

Is this what I wanted? It never was and never
will be but circumstances are the mother of
unfortunate consequences. He ripped my chest
opened, thought my heart was a toy. Now I just
preach what he taught.

When I told him he created so much anger inside
me I had to kill him or take my anger out on every
man to come after him, he said to go for it. If any of my
exes want revenge for what I’ve done to them, just send
a message and you’ll get the bastards’ name and address.

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