Tonight I will forgive myself.
I will forgive myself for all the times
I let you in knowing you will leave without a word,
without a whisper of why and where.
I will forgive myself for not letting you in tonight
and denying myself the pleasure of pretending to
belong to you, of feeling wanted.
I will forgive myself for everything I’ve done to hurt myself.
From now on, it will only be me until completely healed.
Tag: poet
Poem #318
And so we live.
Our inner ten year olds are ashamed of us.
But we still live.
Our freedom is shackled by the opinions of others.
But we still live.
Our days are a well played out routine.
But we still live.
We slayed our dreams with the knife called reality.
But are we still alive?
Poem #317
You told me I am disturbingly
easy to fall in love with.
I didn’t know if I should say thank you
or slap you.
Am I so ordinary that I can be
everyone’s cup of tea?
Can’t you see I am a shot of whiskey?
What Do You Believe?
It’s one thing to say you believe
and another to truly believe.
Most of my life I’ve uttered the words taught to me by my parents,
absorbed the messages broadcast by society
and believed the assertions of my inner critic.
What is it about now that has me questioning everything,
and wanting to unlearn a lifetime’s worth of beliefs?
Surely, not everything I learned was untrue.
After all, my parents introduced me to the concept of You.
But now, you’re no longer just a concept,
rather, a feeling, a presence by my side.
Society told me my worth was in my monetary value –
how much do I earn? how much do i own? –
but that just never felt right.
I don’t want to own anything,
I want to experience everything.
And I’m no fool. I know that money matters.
It’s just not what I want to strive for.
My inner critic always told me
I was unworthy of love.
So I shaped a life around that belief,
and lived in a dark place called Denial.
It was dark, but familiar,
part of my limited comfort zone.
So what is it about now that has me questioning everything?
I really can’t say,
other than to venture
that You have something to do with it.
This place, this precipice,
is terrifying.
But the longer I stand here,
the more chances I’ll lose my nerve.
The more I extend this limbo,
the less likely I’ll be able to take the leap
and see if, indeed, I will fall
or flail my under-used wings
and eventually learn how to fly.
There’s a difference between saying the words
and believing them.
The world says everyone is beautiful,
but still bows down to a singular body type.
The world says all people are equal,
but still takes pains to put up walls
and increase gaps.
The world says our planet is precious
but denies the fact that she is dying
without the love and care of her people.
There’s a difference between saying the words
and believing them.
The time has come to figure out what we truly want,
what we truly believe,
and to shatter all the fragile masks and dishonest tropes
that have taken over our lives.
What do I truly believe?
I believe in You
and the power of love.
I believe in the value of helping others,
the importance of feeling connected
and respecting everyone.
The extraordinary wonder of children.
The necessity of pain,
but not of prolonging it to punish ourselves,
rather of holding it in like a wounded child
and then letting it go,
comforted by the knowledge that it will surely
lead to something better.
I believe
that I am worthy
and can handle
anything You throw my way,
including this,
this most difficult of steps,
over the edge
and into the unknown.
I believe that one day,
I’ll look back and think,
“Thank God, I took that step.”
Nida Elley is a New Yorker/Lahori/Austinite/Londoner travelling circus of wonders who runs a blog – Lovelorn (https://lovelorn.me) – that explores the disconnection we all feel sometimes. Her work has been published in the short story anthology, “Austenistan”(Bloomsbury, 2018) and the poetry anthology, “Words By_”(Suitcase Media, 2019).
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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com
Bright
each morning awakes with tears
rays of light
occluded by mist and cloud
despair seemingly near
yet miracles and grace
revelation as the day unfolds.
a bright firebrand
a soul who sees
the beauty and truth in the world
despite days of suffering.
She, a grace and light
pointing to the Love that
sustains and harmonizes all reality.
Court is a writer who has written two books: Descent, Ascent, Transfiguration, a collection of poetry and Beyond the Veil a poetic fictional tale. You can read his other work at onthegalileanshores.wordpress.com.
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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com
The Kitchen
hugs and thanks for a great meal
that’s sweet but still
have to do those damn dishes
scrubbing those pots
ruining my nails
soap suds on my brow
such drudgery
with a flick of the dial
a smile erupts on my face
our favorite song fills my ears
you cranked the volume way high
my hips starting to loosen
your hands flowing with them
one twirl and i face you
you pull me close
grabbing even tighter
our forms as one
moving across
the kitchen floor
with knowing smiles
that this is our everlasting love
Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.
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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com
One
Take care of your heart;
you only have one.”
It was what I replied
when you said goodbye.
— Everything was fine.
At some point —
you returned to me:
it didn’t work,
your heart was free.
I took it in
without hesitation.
Knowing you only have one
— I’d like to be the one
to take care of it
when there is no one.
There is so much space,
you can take it all up.
There isn’t so much time,
let’s save it all up.
Esmeralda Balita is a living paradox.
WordPress: www.inexhaustiblemuse.wordpress.com
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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com
