You are a woman. Put a smile on your face, be sweet and kind, show emotions and be a stereotype we need you to be or we will call you insane, we will call you coldhearted and we will make you believe that there is something wrong with you just because you refuse to fall in the line.
We created these standards for you as a woman to live by and we’ve sent him to make you believe you are something to be owned. He will try to brainwash you and rip out every limb of your free will. He will make you believe that the torture you are going through is a life you deserve, he will make you believe that you were born to walk behind him, he will make you believe that it’s necessary for you to live under his fist and he will hide his intentions with a few nice gestures made to make you feel like a queen without knowing that your kingdom is your very special circle of hell. And if you complain and if you try to get out you will be the woman who cried abuse, the woman who cried rape, the woman who just cried and they will make you remember that this is a man’s world.
He will make a shell out of you. He will make you believe the only thing you have to offer is your body and that the only worth you have is between your legs. He will beg you to get down on your knees for him just so that you would be beneath him and look at him as the king on a throne he believes himself to be. If you don’t bow down to his authority he will place your head up against a wall and press on your neck until you feel the air disappearing from your lungs and he will do it just so you would feel the pain he allegedly felt when he realized that he can’t own you. He will make you believe that the pain he’s putting you through is only there to punish you for not loving him, not satisfying his needs, not being the stereotype he wanted you to be. He will break your bones and your will just because he needs a puppet on a string which will dance around him so he wouldn’t feel alone.
When you show no weakness, when you put on a poker face, when you decide to protect your body and soul from hitting the ground and when you walk away he will make you believe that you have a stone instead of a heart just because you were unable to give him what he needs. He will tell you that you have no conscience and he will try to force a feeling of guilt on you just so he could make your mind weaker, put you in shackles and drag you wherever he wants as if you were a display piece.
No matter what he tells you or how much he hurts you just remember this: “Your mind belongs to you and so does your body. There is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with him because he is in a fight which only exists in his head and he doesn’t understand he can’t get a revenge based on you not bowing down to his needs. He can pretend to be a king and he can pretend to be strong but he will never be as strong as a woman that claimed ownership of her life when she was standing in front of a firing squad.”
Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. Forgive him. Forgive all of them because you don’t need the poison of resentment and hatred in your soul. Let him fire all the shots at you because his ammo will disappear one day and he will be left with that voice in his head screaming: “There was no war to be fought! She is a human being, she is not a toy! The place in which her soul lies is a body, not a boxing bag! You were never her master, you were an oppressor!”
Who is he in reality? Your father, your husband or someone else?