Poem #179

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Finding any excuse to fall into my old habits
One hand on the bottle, smoke coming from the other.
Always having an explanation for my wrongdoings.
I never let happiness linger in the room, I smash
the walls to let it out. I thought it was the
poet inside of me trying to find inspiration in pain
but I guess it’s my father’s damn legacy making
me destroy peace wherever I set foot in.

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Never let anyone’s opinion bother me.
The world is a nasty place, I heal my wounds in
alcohol and cigarettes. As I grow older I understand
him more and more and instead of seeing him
for the monster he was I see the monster’s cub
growing bigger in the mirror.

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Let’s drink to the legacy you left me with daddy.

Poem #98

She just sat there and
smoked her cigarette
There’s a heavy crown
on her head but she refuses
to take it off for any man.
He was across the room and
her heart was jumping right
out of her chest. She wanted
to drop everything, walk to his
table and tell him how much he
means to her, how much he hurt
her, how much she misses him.
She wanted to feel his arms around
her waist again. She was confused,
on some level even ashamed of how
she felt so she just sat there and
smoked her cigarette.
There’s a heavy crown on her head
but she refuses to take it off for any man.

Poem #73

On that cold winter night her breath
resembled smoke coming out of her
mouth and it got you to a new level of
feeling because it reminded you of the
night she smoked a cigarette after
burning up between your fingers.

It was all experienced before but it all
felt so new. Like a boy you fell under
the spell of her deep blue eyes. In a
single breath, a glance, a smile you
realized you’ve loved her all this time.

You offered her a cigarette and she
told you she had quit and that’s when
the truth hit. Those nights you claimed
her yours were long gone. Those lips
you’d bite in between kisses were
now completely off limits.

And you wanted to ask her to come
over to your place for coffee and you
wanted to give her a hug and you
wanted to ask how she’s been doing
but you were scared she’ll tell you
there’s some other guy.

So you just stood there mesmerized
and got the answer to the question you
didn’t even knew you wanted to ask.
That beauty walking in the night was
the best thing you ever had. One more
night with her would mean kissing
happiness goodbye because she
would disappear before dawn.

Nicotine

You are like nicotine. A filthy
substance running through my
blood and despite knowing you
are bad for me I still have a desire
to feel you on my lips, keep you
between my fingertips.

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Cigarettes

Cigarettes

Like this cigarette, you are my vice and even though
you poisoned me you made me feel alive.
Like a cigarette I burned out. Your arrival
will be the fire – come here and light me up.

Like a cigarette

I wrote this little piece for a certain person a while ago and I remembered it today because I’ve quit smoking due to some health issues and I’ve been cigarette free for 20 days now. I know it’s a nasty habit and I’m glad I’m managing all of this well. I remember always writing with a cigarette in my mouth, I thought I couldn’t do it without them but I kicked the habit! Check out the whole poem clicking here.

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