The Positivity Press


I’ve only spent about a year in the colony I’m currently living in and I usually greet and meet people that I know personally or through my family. Apart from that, I didn’t usually greet anyone I passed by.
I used to walk alone everyday in my colony in the evening and I didn’t communicate with anyone I passed by with. They weren’t interested in me and I wasn’t keen in annoying their daily routine. I like greeting everyone but when I see that the person I greet didn’t acknowledge me, I feel so embarrassed and weird as if it’s my fault or I should’ve spoken louder. So in a way, I was quite isolated from a large percentage of my colony.

However, when I got a dog and I’d take her out for a walk everyday, so many people noticed and acknowledged me (actually my dog). Children would jump around us excitedly, nervously call my dog and then run away when my dog responded, children and adults nervously tried to pet the dog, asked her name, what she ate, when I got her, etc. Even if the questions were about my dog, I was the one communicating with them and answering their questions. As days went by, they asked about me and I asked about them. Hence, I got to meet and listen to different kinds of people which I love to do. I love hearing about other people’s lives and their experiences, which I would probably never have experienced if I walked alone since my dog is a people-magnet.

I also started greeting other people like regular walkers, people walking their dogs, guards, etc. I also removed whatever litter I could from the ground, so my connection with people as well as my environment increased.

One day, I passed by an old lady who stopped me to say that my dog has such an adorable face. She called her granddaughter who ran excitedly to pet her. After petting her, she looked at me with a huge smile telling me my dog is so cute. The fact that the old lady was afraid of the dog and yet, didn’t stand far from it and let her granddaughter pet it showed her beautiful personality. Just because she was afraid of being touched by a dog, perhaps due to being told so when she was younger, didn’t mean that she had to make anyone else be afraid of it.

A lot of people aren’t afraid of cats but they are taught or conditioned to be afraid of dogs so every time I walk my dog, many people move aside from it or tell me to move it aside. I get it if they have allergies but otherwise, they are amongst Allah’s beautiful creatures which do not possess a shred of evil in them. I’d rather avoid certain types of people than animals, no matter how vicious and scary they looked, because people in their fear of animals tend to due brutal things to them just because they fear or are disgusted by them. Animals are much more peaceful and sane, and they just run away when they fear someone. Thus, when I observed that old lady admiring my dog, I felt a wave of comfort and peace in my heart from knowing that there are people in this world who try their level best to be kind to animals. It’s an obvious act of kindness and love but whenever I see it, it always looks beautiful.

The next day, yesterday, she invited me to her house and we talked for quite a while and I genuinely had a fun time talking to her, learning about her and her family’s life. There is perhaps no better joy than communicating with lovely, sane people.

So to answer your question, yes. I derived all this when I took my dog out for a walk.

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My name is Andale Seaworne. I’m a regular 20 year old Muslim Pakistani girl navigating through life, sharing knowledge and opinion related to different topics in life from basic moral values with relevance to Islamic teachings to travelling, books, food, personal experiences, observations, interpretations and anything that comes to my mind (in a series of bubbles).

The Positivity Press

Positivity Press #6

2018 was a year full of ups and downs. For the ups, my wife and I welcomed our second child into the world, and we were able to buy a house! For the downs, I had to work 60-70 hours a week between two jobs just to get by, and we still racked up several thousand dollars worth of credit card debt. We had much to be thankful for, but we were also barely treading water.
But 2019 has seen a much more positive beat for my family! My novel, a work 6 years in the making, finally got published and has been doing decently well in sales! I got a solid promotion at one of my jobs that allowed me to quit the other one, and it even came with a host of benefits that lightened our monthly financial load. It’s a great job, the kind of thing I’ve been wanting to do for a long time now, and I get more time at home with my family. Our 5 year old graduated Kindergarten and our 1 year old is happy and healthy. We paid off that credit card debt, and are now able to sock away extra money each paycheck.

There are highs and lows in life. Few people ever get to a good place without trudging through a bog of bad times first, and 90% of that fight is your attitude. You gotta look forward to the goal, keep it ever present in mind. There’s one piece of advice my dad handed down to me that stuck, and I’ll pass it on to anyone who reads this, especially if you’re a young adult: your 20’s should suck. You’ll probably have to live on a shoestring budget, passing up on most, if not all, of your wants just to make ends meet. But if you budget well, put in the time and effort, and with a little luck, you’ll get into your 30’s and 40’s with a sound financial base and finally be able to treat yourself. That’s how I’ve lived the eight years since I turned 20, and it’s looking to finally pay off!



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Coffee Date

Pushing the Ex button will trap you

No matter how many boyfriends, friends with benefits, one night stands and crushes we have there will be that one person that will stay engraved in our memory, whether it’s our first boyfriend/girlfriend, first person we kissed, loved or slept with. They will just be there forever.

For some they will just be a beautiful memory but for the majority of us it becomes a weak spot. It becomes the person we run back to no matter the circumstances. This running back to can be compared to driving your car straight into a wall even though you know you’re going to crash and burn. Oh yes you know what I’m talking about, that one ex who can tell us that they will pretend they don’t know us the next morning but we will still be like:”Honey, I’m here and I have no self-control when you are around”.

I’ve met that person a few years back and from my own experience I can say that this situation is the single, most stressful thing when it comes to relationships. I just feel like kicking him out of my head and putting up a sign “You are not welcome anymore” but there is a mechanism stopping me from doing it. And I, being honest with myself, know what that mechanism is all about and believe me that it’s the same thing with you.

The feeling when you’re with that person is overwhelming and it feels right and the pain is familiar. The pain of losing that one person over and over again isn’t hard because you are used to it. You’ve established coping mechanisms to deal with it. You know that the pain comes in waves and that it comes only when you feel completely alone, hear a certain song, on a certain date or on a certain place. You only think it’s coming in waves but it’s actually not. It’s constantly there and you just learned to live with it.

We hold on to those exes because it’s easier to live in a disaster you know how to survive than to let your heart wander and find someone else who could hurt you in a way that will be new, in a way you don’t have a mechanism for. When you think about it, it’s actually sick. We are depriving ourselves of happiness and love by holding on to the old just because we don’t want to face everything that comes with it.

I’m not the one who can tell you to snap out of it because I haven’t done that yet but I’m trying and it’s hard to just loosen my grip after years and years of being comfortable in the pain and a few heated encounters. It’s hard to find the thin line between passion, love and hallucination. It’s hard to give up on the person that makes you melt and makes your emotions heightened, makes you feel every second you have with them and makes you believe that there’s something more than a habit between you.

It’s hard but it’s not impossible. That person will never get out of our head but you will learn to control yourself. You will learn to let your heart go and you will learn to accept happiness without turning on your defense mechanisms. Stop running in circles and step out of your comfort zone. You will drive into many walls and crash and burn before you find the person that will let their walls down in order to keep you safe but you need to stop running into the same wall over and over again.

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