The main reasons why we get frustrated are people around us who do something to upset us or are just mean to us. Well, that’s a lie.
The source of stress and anger in your life is you because only you have the power to control the things that get to you. I’m not saying you have full control, because we all know that sometimes it’s just one of those days when nothing goes right and we get frustrated at everyone and we can’t control our emotions.
Now let’s cancel out those days and talk about the thing you do control such as the way you look at people.
- YOU NEVER KNOW
This is probably something that I should have learned a long time ago but I didn’t. I’m a judgmental person and what I see is what I judge or at least I used to. For the last year I just realized that you can’t say what somebody is feeling until you walk in their shoes for a day or two.
And what is most important, you can never say you have it harder than someone else. Just because somebody has a smile on their face doesn’t mean they are happy and just because somebody has money doesn’t mean they have it all. Don’t feel superior then someone else just because you think you have more problems but you’re still handling everything better than someone who seems as if they have everything served on a silver plate. I hope that this is making sense because this is the first time I have a problem with expressing myself…
- DON’T GIVE A DAMN
“I don’t give a damn” is probably one of my most used sentences. I just don’t give a damn about many things such as people’s opinion. Now, I’m not one of those people who will do what they want and won’t listen to what others have to say. I’m one of those people who will pick the people with which I share a mutual love and respect and I will care about their opinion.
Where the hell do you expect to go in life if you care about every single opinion in this world? Nobody, and listen to me carefully, nobody is good enough to fit everyone’s standards – not even you so stop trying! Just have a circle of trust around yourself and give credit to the people who deserve it. If that circle of trust only includes one person, and that person is you, don’t get scared. Remember what I said in my post Expectations – “The day you learn to stand alone will be the day you become invincible.’’ The right people will come along the way, just keep on going.
- IT’S NOT YOUR LIFE
Why do you care what other people do? And by that I mean, why do you compare yourself to others? When you do it you just poison your own mind in a despicable way because comparing leads to social deprivation – don’t do that shit to yourself. While you were checking what’s new with the girl/boy you actually hate you could have been working on becoming a better person. You have one life, it’s your life, it’s the only life you control and the only life you should be 100% involved in. Get your nose out of other people’s business and believe me that all of that poison will just disappear from your life.
- LEARN TO WALK AWAY
This is something I still didn’t completely learn how to do. Just turn around and walk away. One step at a time. Just walk away from the people who do nothing for you but expect everything from you. Stay the hell away from people who talk much but do nothing. Turn your back on those who only used you to do their work, their homework, to be their therapist, to listen to their drama without ever paying attention to you. There is only one situation in which you shouldn’t walk away. When it comes to hypocrites you shouldn’t really walk away. You should tell them what you think, swing your leg strong enough to kick them in the butt and kick them out of your life. Amen to that!
I realized that this post is humongous, so I’ll stop here and make a sequel some other day or just take some themes I want to work through more thoroughly. What I was actually trying to say all the time is that you can’t change people around you but you can change yourself and when you manage to do that you’ll find happiness.
Now you tell me, what’s the thing you want to change in the way you see and treat other people? 😉
Change. The word itself causes so much stress and anxiety that some people fear it more than death. What is it so scary about changing that makes us paralyzed and often depressed? In this world where things change on a daily basis are we so scared to venture outside or universe and embrace the change?
All of these questions started popping into my head 3 weeks ago when I realized that I was moving to another city 400 km from home and that I won’t be studying at a college I wanted. I knew I will be moving out of my house and going to university and I was prepared for that but I wasn’t prepared for my plans to be changed and for me to have to encounter new people and a new environment.
I remember the night before my moving day. It was the first time in my life that fear paralyzed me. I fell into an old habit again – smoking. It was the only thing that relaxed me. So I was just sitting there, on the floor of my empty bedroom, with my cigarette, starring at my suitcases. Right about my fifth cigarette I asked myself: ‘’Why are you such a coward?’’
I cried during the ride to my new ‘’home’’ and at night I strolled down the beach all by myself. I barely survived the first night in my new bed. Two days later my roommate came and our parents went home. We were all on our own.
And then it hit me. I could sit here, feeling sorry for myself or I could make this work. Change won’t be scary if you don’t let it take over.
Be in control, make the change compromise and make it adapt to you. Instead of smoking one cigarette after another to lower down the fear, use it as motivation. Let the fear motivate you to become better and to prove to yourself that you are fearless.
Expand your horizons but don’t forget the views you had seen. The best way to make change adapt to you is to keep some of your old habits. For me it was breakfast time after which I make a big coffee for myself, work on my blog and read.
On the other hand I said you had to expand your horizons so make new habits. Make new friends. Just make new! Let the change slide into your life gradually but don’t let it overwhelm you.
If you manage to let go, but still pull all the strings, in a matter of weeks the change will become your everyday life. It will just blend in until it fully disappears and the fear will be gone with it.
I think that the main confusion about change is that we fight for it but we fight against it. The truth of the matter is that without change we would all be in the same place our whole lives and maybe that place is scary, dark and makes us unhappy but we still hold on to it because that place is familiar and in a way it makes us feel safe. It false safety and it’s false happiness so don’t live in it just because you are scared of change.
It’s easier to survive a change and fight a bit harder for a little while than to spend a lifetime in misery so don’t fear the change – embrace it!
P.S. So this is what happened. My FB page was deleted for some reason and I had 2000 fans. I’m trying to get back on my feet so could you help me a little with pressing like.