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The Poetry Bar

2:00 am

***little note from Luna: Not poetry as usual in The Poetry Bar, but I like it so I decided to publish it. Kisses.**

I’ve spent way too much time on thinking about doing things rather than doing them. Too much time is wasted on distracting myself and pretending to be fine.

“Pain demans to be felt.”

Here I am, 2 am in my room feeling the pain. It hurts but the hurting is a part of my life and I have (somewhat) accepted it. And I’d say I’m overwhelmed, also by this rusty feeling of pride, of unknown depth of happiness which doesn’t show. A few months ago, I was a disaster who did not hope to settle down ever again. I’m still a disaster, but I know I will find my serenity. Because, as I have always said, I can never give up. This was a battle that I never thought would fight. Turns out it wasn’t a fight afterall. It was a journey. One that probably never ends. One with darkness everywhere and the one with fireflies around me, making it beautiful somehow.

When I look back at everything that has happened, I don’t feel pathetic or nauseous anymore. I feel proud, mostly emotional. Because I don’t feel the way I felt back then. I’m not stuck on the edge of a stupid cliff anymore. I knew where I stood then and I know where I stand right now and there’s a huge difference, that I HAVE MADE. I know it, The universe knows it. And it’s smiling at me, saying ” That’s my girl!”

I haven’t written much in a long while. So many blank pages waited for me all day long with just the date and day on the top but they always found my face covered in my hands in despair. “Please don’t take your eyes away..” I get it, it’s a habit of mine. My New Year’s resolution would be not to take my eyes away. Not even from myself.
I should be preparing for my exams. But first, I want play the song that I’m learning. I want to complete the book that I started reading weeks ago. I want to write…. write. The thing I missed the most, my words. And I’ve written it. I finally wrote something. I learned something. I grew and am growing.

“The search will be beautiful.”
It is. Because in the end, I will find myself.

About me- My name is Sanya Singh. I’m 17 years old and I mostly write about my own experiences and things that I learn from life. You can follow my blog at www.chasingescapes.wordpress.com .

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

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Poems

Poem #346

The past crashed right into the present.
Right into this moment.
“How are you, haven’t seen you in so long”
We start making small talk and in your eyes
I recognize what I fell for.

I don’t know if I should’ve given you a hug,
maybe it would’ve been too much.
I wish to swirl that curl you have in your hair,
right above your forehead.
We were young and now freedom is replaced
by questioning ourselves.

Please don’t ask to see me again because
you know I will say yes.
Every time I couldn’t keep you for more than
a few hours caused so much pain.
We were young when our lips met, maybe we should
keep that innocence. Keep the past in the past.

Latest Poem: Poem #345
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 
Latest #savingme: Give Women Their Rage Back

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Poems

Poem #345

The light effortlessly came through the curtains
and created a golden line from her shoulder to her thigh.

That skin was like a canvas waiting for color.
That hair was like violin strings waiting for the music.

Human in the imperfection, lady in the nakedness.
Eyes like two oceans hiding secrets in the depth.

To entice the mind, to satisfy the soul she moved
her body to bathe in the gold.

The maker of desire, beauty beyond measure
she knew how to harness power in simple pleasures.

Latest Poem: Poem #344
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 

Categories
Poems

Poem #344

Remember those words you said on the
sidewalk half past midnight?
You don’t, do you? People forget meaningless things.
Maybe you said it because you wanted to see me happy,
maybe because you thought you had to say it.
Anyhow, the happiness had an expiration date.

It was bittersweet how those words provoked
the same sensation as loneliness did.
The shivers down my spine, in need of long showers
to clear my mind. Not being able to function because
I was thinking of you, thinking about our moments while
burning alive in that empty room.

Latest Poem: Poem #343
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 

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Poems

Poem #343

She left peace and security behind in search of a feeling.
Promises turned lies and friends turned foes paved the way for a runaway.

Physically she is here, mentally she is dancing under the stars.
Meeting strangers, running to the sea, lighting a cigarette after a shot of whiskey.

Chains are not for the open minded, cages too small to hold her soul.
She spills over, slips across the borders, disappears from your fingers when you try to hold her.

A little runaway who got selfish tendencies. She wants the pleasure and the joy
all for herself but still she left a piece of herself wherever she went.

Youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_pO74M-MjVo
Latest poem: https://lunatheblog.com/2020/11/01/poem-342/

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Poems

Poem #342

I don’t know how to write about this. 
I don’t know how to let go of this. 
I don’t know how to explain this.  
 
It is a feeling that makes you not feel it. 
What is the poetic way to describe emptiness? 
My heart fell down in this space and it didn’t even echo. 
All my senses are worthless here. 
 
The writer in me got stuck trying to pen it 
How do you beat something you can’t even name? 
It numbs your senses, throws your vocabulary away. 
Trying to fight it is like trying to cut air. 

 

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Poems

Poem #341

I guess my pain is like candy,
when you like tasting it so much.
At least something about me is sweet.

But I stay thinking there’s something
worth fighting for here.
Maybe I just want to be worth that fight.

I will stop asking, I will stop searching for your affection.
Just to see if it will still be there.
At the end of the day,
love you have to ask for never feels like love in the end.

 

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Poems

Poem #340

I only write about love because it was all
I have been looking for in life.
But it is so hard to recognize It in a world
that wants everything defined and in line. 

want to stand on my own two feet,
but I still want you to save me.
want a kiss on the shoulder over morning coffee,
and have my back arch against wall. 

don’t want it comfortable and defined.
want it inconvenientpassionate and alive
Romance and lust dancing together under the stars
giving life to passion and to desire 

All should be love, addictive and wild.
Silence and noise at once.
Chaos and peace intertwined. 
Nights you stay up opening your soul
and nights you lose all control. 

Categories
Poems

Poem #339

You are a gift that keeps on giving.
Giving light, love, poems and heart.

Even after you were gone, I was pulling
the ribbons, uncovering new dimensions to our story.

You left a love that lingers, touch that’s
forever present and a soul filled with desire.
For that I still write, for that I still hug my pillow at night
for that I look for someone to burn with me the way you have.

For you, because of us, I still believe in love.

 

Categories
Poems

Poem #338

This feeling that only feels liberating in
shackles. The room that gets smaller and
smaller, eating away the oxygen.
The 24/7 panic attack that begins when you
decide to lock away your heart.

You just wanted to give your heart a break
after it has been broken. Now you forgot how
to use it, you are running away from its purpose.