Poem #335

Somewhere between the smoke and alcohol,
the hobbies and oversleeping,
the binges and the purges
you realize it was never a writers block.

You screamed your words at that page
to let go, to release.
You never expected they would scream
right back at you.

You used to write to let it all out
now you fake writers block to keep it all in.
Just to avoid reading what you feel.
Just to avoid facing your own fears.

Last poem by Luna: Poem #334
Our First Travel Vlog: Vacation Vlog – Island of Krk, Croatia

Coffee Date with Luna: Inspiration in pain

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Usually I intended for Coffee dates to be published each Saturday but here we are.

Yesterday I went to bed a bit early because I wanted to wake up early today but that didn’t work and I ended up spending a few hours overthinking and my thoughts came to my blog and my writing.

If you follow me, you know I haven’t been posting a lot of my original poetry lately and the reason for that is that right now I am very happy in my life. I have already noticed before that I have writer’s block when I am happy. Poetry and writing in general had always been an outlet for me, a way to let go of bad emotions and terrible experiences. When I come to periods such as this one when I am happy, I have things going well for me, that creative part of me just become blocked.

Do you experience this?

I know everyone has their way of writing but I got to thinking if this is toxic for me in a way. Would I ever sabotage myself and my happiness in order to write something? And yes, my brain likes to go to extremes when I am overthinking alone at night but this question has really been bothering me. How far would I be ready to go to break this writer’s block and can I unintentionally invite unhappiness and pain to my life just to find inspiration to write?

My mind was spinning a lot last night and I thought it would be best to read more and get in touch with art and poetry again to find a new source of inspiration. Do you have any good book recommendations to get me through this period?

Writing is something that has been with me through life, I have created my blog around it and I have connected with all of you thanks to poetry and I would hate to have to pick between my writing inspiration and my happiness.

Even though I am very happy currently, this part of me is missing and I think I would experience my feelings of joy more intense if I were able to write about them but I fail every time.

Tell me what you think about this, have you experienced this or any other type of writer’s block. Also, is there any subject you would like us to discuss in our Coffee Dates?

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Creativity vs. Reality

Hello everyone!

And the award for the most absent blogger goes to yours truly! In the words of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again”

But I am back now. I know that usually our coffee dates are on Saturday but I guess I was so bad at blogging that I actually couldn’t keep up with my own schedule. Today I feel like talking about the actual reason why I have been so absent lately. You know I was ill for a while and then I got back to Zagreb and back to my job. And then I worked. And then I worked. And then I worked some more.

Sometimes I have a feeling like my job and becoming a “grownup” is seriously shutting down any source of creativity in me. I had some writers blocks and I know how much it sucks but this is something else. By the time I do everything that needs to be done, do my shift, stress the hell out because of my job, come home and get to my job number two I just want to get to my bed.

I feel like my life became lifeless which is causing my creativity and writing inspiration to deteriorate. Since writing has been a big part of my life since I was a kid, this feels like a whole part of my personality is just fading away. It is sometimes really scary to feel your, let’s say, childhood dreams being taken away from you because you have to do this thing called being an adult. I know I sound like a kid saying this but at the end of the day those things we dreamed of as children come back to haunt us when we start becoming everything we said we never would be.

I have been taking care of myself for a long time now, earning my money, paying my bills, just being an adult but then I stop and go to my blog. There were periods when I would publish daily and my inspiration was just at a high level and now? If I wrote about my life, it would be pretty empty. The type of poetry I write when I am feeling down and it has been like this for months now.

I thought about making some changes to turn things around, maybe even travel somewhere but then the questions start: Can I afford this, do I have any vacation days left, who would I go with since my friends are busy etc. It’s like with my creativity being gone, my brain starts to think more of obstacles than opportunities when I want to do or change something.

This isn’t the type of Coffee Date you are used to, but currently these are some very haunting thoughts I have been fighting with. Have you ever thought about this, experienced such issues? I would really love it for you to share your experience and opinions in the comment section and also let me know what you would like to discuss next in our Coffee Dates.

Thank you for reading this very weird post of just my thoughts and troubles with growing up.

Sending love and positive vibes
Luna

Cry it out

It has been a long time since I posted anything authentic on my blog so here I am, just a girl, a blogger, a writer, telling you that my inspiration should be on the back of a milk carton because it’s MISSING!

I am fighting this writer’s block for more than a month now which is why I haven’t been posting a lot of my original work. At the beginning I just thought it was because I have moved past some experiences which used to fuel my writing (which I actually did), then I took on the excuse that it’s because I work too much and then I started to believe that I haven’t been reading enough, dedicating myself to art enough which caused my block. All of these reasons are correct but they are not the main reason why it has been hard for me to write lately.

The main reason is that I became detach from myself. I can feel something just bottled up inside of me and I am trying to keep it that way by not addressing the issue. It’s hard to actually explain what it is because I have no idea what it is. I just know that somewhere in the last few months something snapped inside of me and it resulted in my inspiration just fading away.

I want to talk to you today about the first sign that actually pointed to this issue. Crying. I know that mostly people associate crying to sad events and feel uncomfortable talking about it (as if it wasn’t completely normal) but crying is therapeutic.  Crying as well as laughing actually heals your soul in many ways and crying helps you to just let go of anything that has been causing you pain and suffering.

My problem isn’t that I cried a lot, my problem is that I didn’t feel the need to cry at all for a long time. Shit happened, I had reasons to be sad in the past few months but nothing. Nada. Zero tears. You remember I mentioned something bottled up inside? Well, it started to boil inside of me obviously and then it started. I just choke up because of random things, my eyes get filled with tears because of such random events that I am now going insane and telling people that I have allergies.

Whatever I bottled up, wants to burst out and this is why I learned the importance of crying at the wonderful age of 23. There’s nothing wrong with crying. Sit down, get yourself a glass of wine, put on some sad songs and cry it out. You will feel better and you will be more connected to your emotions.

I have a lot of work to do on myself to repair this damage I unconsciously inflicted upon myself, my writing, my soul and mental health but I am getting there. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important to talk out loud about crying and getting in touch with your emotions, recognizing pain instead of trying to hide it. Don’t bottle things up so you don’t end up like me now.

Anyways, I hope all of this made some sense. As you can see this writer’s block is causing me difficulties with expressing my point but the only way to beat it is to WRITE WRITE WRITE and cry obviously.

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Poem #237

I have been staring at this piece of paper forever.
I can’t pick up the pen and write a single line.
Maybe I’ve lost my way with words.
Maybe I just lost my feelings for you.
Maybe you left my system after all those years
of writing only about my memories of you.