Coffee Date with Luna: Handling emotions

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today I decided to speak about something very close to my heart which is dealing with emotions and stress. I suck at it.

From a young age I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I understand that my upbringing in domestic violence took its toll on me but to this day I still am very bad at handling my emotions, expressing them (even with poetry) and addressing issues that cause me stress.

A lot of people have this problem which is why I decided to honestly speak about this, especially the cheap Band-Aids we use for a temporary fix. I started writing while I was a kid and this problem started. I would be locked up in my room while I was alone with my father and, since there wasn’t much to do for a kid between four walls, I would write everything from poetry, short stories to attempting to write actual books. And I just want to state that I did not have a computer then, all was done by hand. I had like a million notebooks. This did ease my emotions and the stress a bit but I never adopted a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

Around the time I abandoned writing all together for a few years, I started to go out, smoke and party. I started to smoke around the time I was 16. Cigarettes helped me relax, get my head straight and calm down if my nerves were getting the best of me. I know it’s an unhealthy habit but as I said, these were all quick fixes, I just wanted to instantly feel better about the world. I had my last cigarette more than two months ago and I am still struggling not to fall into this old habit.

Another quick fix for me is binge eating. I know that I maybe don’t look like someone who has problems with food, but I do. I could do a whole post about this so I am not getting to much into it now because we all know what binge eating is. (if you want that post, let me know).

This blog has been a great help for me in dealing with my emotions but I still do not have a healthy way to deal with them. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to my mental health which is why I believe people need to talk about it more. People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare. I am not calling people bad parents but I have a feeling that people are not being thought from a young age how to address and give a voice to all of the feelings which go on inside of them which is why, when we are older, we resort to unhealthy ways to deal with our emotions such as smoking, drinking, eating, violence and drugs. If I had any say in what the world should be like, I would put the subject “Handling emotions” to kids in school.

We ignore how we feel, go above and beyond to hide our emotions and they just go wild inside of our heads. Not being able to handle one’s emotions can leave us clinging to unhealthy relationships because not voicing our opinions and expressing our emotions became normal to us.

Well, this is just my opinions about this. What do you guys think – do people know how to handle their emotions, did you find yourself somewhere in this post? Tell me all about it in the comments and also let me know what you would like to read about in the next Coffee Date.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Cry it out

It has been a long time since I posted anything authentic on my blog so here I am, just a girl, a blogger, a writer, telling you that my inspiration should be on the back of a milk carton because it’s MISSING!

I am fighting this writer’s block for more than a month now which is why I haven’t been posting a lot of my original work. At the beginning I just thought it was because I have moved past some experiences which used to fuel my writing (which I actually did), then I took on the excuse that it’s because I work too much and then I started to believe that I haven’t been reading enough, dedicating myself to art enough which caused my block. All of these reasons are correct but they are not the main reason why it has been hard for me to write lately.

The main reason is that I became detach from myself. I can feel something just bottled up inside of me and I am trying to keep it that way by not addressing the issue. It’s hard to actually explain what it is because I have no idea what it is. I just know that somewhere in the last few months something snapped inside of me and it resulted in my inspiration just fading away.

I want to talk to you today about the first sign that actually pointed to this issue. Crying. I know that mostly people associate crying to sad events and feel uncomfortable talking about it (as if it wasn’t completely normal) but crying is therapeutic.  Crying as well as laughing actually heals your soul in many ways and crying helps you to just let go of anything that has been causing you pain and suffering.

My problem isn’t that I cried a lot, my problem is that I didn’t feel the need to cry at all for a long time. Shit happened, I had reasons to be sad in the past few months but nothing. Nada. Zero tears. You remember I mentioned something bottled up inside? Well, it started to boil inside of me obviously and then it started. I just choke up because of random things, my eyes get filled with tears because of such random events that I am now going insane and telling people that I have allergies.

Whatever I bottled up, wants to burst out and this is why I learned the importance of crying at the wonderful age of 23. There’s nothing wrong with crying. Sit down, get yourself a glass of wine, put on some sad songs and cry it out. You will feel better and you will be more connected to your emotions.

I have a lot of work to do on myself to repair this damage I unconsciously inflicted upon myself, my writing, my soul and mental health but I am getting there. I just wanted to share this with you because I think it’s important to talk out loud about crying and getting in touch with your emotions, recognizing pain instead of trying to hide it. Don’t bottle things up so you don’t end up like me now.

Anyways, I hope all of this made some sense. As you can see this writer’s block is causing me difficulties with expressing my point but the only way to beat it is to WRITE WRITE WRITE and cry obviously.

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Quote

I decided to end today with this quote. I really needed to read this today and maybe some of you needed this quote as well so I decided to share it. Lately, I have really had difficulties with controlling my reactions to… everything. I have just been so quick to snap. Anyways, I am tired. I am going to bed because I have to do this life thing all over again tomorrow but I hope with better control of my emotions.

Make sure to send in your submissions for The Poetry Bar, Positivity Press and #savingme. Also, this week we will be having a really exciting announcement about one of our Poetry Bar participants. Can’t wait to share it with all of you!

Goodnight!

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Poem #7

I don’t feel like loving you anymore.
I grew very much tired of it.
If only I could take a shower and
sleep through it. My eyes and my body
then might catch a break but I cannot
command my weary heart to rest.

 

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Poem #6

I am holding on to you  because I think
low of myself. I don’t believe anyone will
want me after you, I am scared that moving on
means being left alone. That’s probably what makes
me believe love is what we have.
Strange.
No love story ever described it as something
so twisted and painful.

 

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Poem #5

I don’t need to hear that you love me.
I need you to show it to me.
I don’t need you to tell me fairytales.
I need to live them with you.
I don’t need you to be here because you think
it’s the right thing to do.
I need you to choose me before everyone else
and be here because you want to.

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Poem #4

I hold you responsible for everything.
You kept your secrets to yourself, tried your
best to get into my bed while you were in someone
else’s as well and I was the fool that let you in.
Now I need you to undo what you have done to me.

Go to the night when we talked, I had my legs
over your knees and unkiss me. Go to the night
you first slept next to me and unhug me. Go to
every single day we spent together and untouch me,
unfeel me, untell all those sweet things when you
already unloved me.

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