Categories
Coffee Date

Dealing with trauma flashbacks

Certain smells, spaces, situations or people tend to bring up bad feelings we thought we had forgotten about. Most people who went through abuse deal with this problem on the regular basis especially if they just left the toxic relationship or moved away from the abusive parent who left them with a serious trauma.

These bad feelings and flashback can manifest in different ways. Some of the ones I experienced myself are running out of air, losing my touch with reality, feeling like I can’t move, paralyzing shivers up and down my spine, excessive sweating, stuttering etc. One of the worse things I still deal with are my nightmares that happen on a regular basis. The problem with these flashbacks isn’t only that they make you live through your pain again but they can put you in serious danger. If you are in a situation where you could get hurt but your mind has a flashback and paralyzes your body you are in an even bigger danger because you can’t defend yourself.

In my 22 years of life I have been abused physically for roughly eleven years but the psychological abuse continued despite my father not being around because my mind was still trapped and going over everything I experienced as a child. I learned to control it a little bit but there are still certain triggers that give me flashbacks. Some of them are being in the presence of a man who reeks of alcohol, someone putting their hands near my throat…

With time I started to use my breathing to cope with these flashbacks and to calm myself when I wake up from a nightmare. Whenever we get agitated our breathing changes, so in order to ease your mind you need to get back to your normal breathing pattern. Try to even out your inhales and your exhales. Breathe in for 3 second and breathe out for three seconds. It’s that simple and it helps you center your mind. You just need to focus on your breath, on the sensation of air entering and exiting your body. As soon as you get your inhales and exhales evened out you will notice a slight release in your body. Your muscles will get relaxed, your mind will get clear and that pressure on your chest will slowly fade away.

This isn’t something you can accomplish perfectly in one take. It took me years of even reminding myself to breathe when I start having flashbacks and panicking. The other thing that helps a lot is meditation. I think it isn’t even necessary to state all the positive sides of mediation because you already know most of them.

When you get flashback and feel paralyzed, you have the feeling like the abuser is still controlling you. He or she is not doing it, you mind is! You need to become aware of the power your mind has over you and you need to develop techniques to calm it down and to rise above what your mind tells your body to feel.

Remember: Transform pain into strength and you will be invincible.

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter LunaTheblog
Bloglovin Luna

Categories
Coffee Date

Meditation

In my latest post Self-doubt and lack of motivation I decided to be open and honest about some problems I’ve been experiencing lately. I decided to face my problems and resolve them as soon as possible because I just can’t stand being like this anymore.

About a year ago when I went through some difficult times I read a book which definitely changed my perspective of life and encouraged me to change my ways. That beloved book is called The Code of the Extraordinary Mind by Vishen Lakhiani. I recommend this book to everyone who wants to change the way they think, their perspective of themselves and the world around them and learn some tricks to reach their full potential.

I came back to that book again but this time it didn’t have the same effect on me but there is something I learned in that book and it’s the importance of meditation. A year ago I was starting to meditate and I was just learning about it for a few months and I remember feeling amazing during that period so I decided to go back to it.

I used Vishen’s guided 6-steps meditation which I find great but also there is another guided meditation that just gets me inspired and puts me in a good mood. The meditation is from a meditation app called Insight Timer (no, this is not an ad) and the meditation is called Connect to Intuition.

This was my first step to getting myself out of my dark place. I’ve started meditating again and it’s been a bit hard because I wasn’t able to focus as well as before but with time and practice I believe I will get good at it again. It does feel great to feel like I’m doing something good for myself though.

I felt very stressed today because I had an exam and when I was walking home from the university it started raining and I didn’t have an umbrella. I was furious at the weather, the sky and everything but a long hot shower, cup of tea and good music made sure my mood was elevated.

Now I need to get started on my assignments so this is all from me today. I honestly hope you like these kind of posts and if you would like to see something different make sure to let me know in the comments below.

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter  LunaTheblog
Bloglovin Luna