Hello everyone and happy weekend!
Lately, I have been posting more of my own, original content and it has been absolutely refreshing. I don’t know at which point my brain just decided to write effortlessly but I missed this feeling. I missed having that constant flow of inspiration where I feel fulfilled sitting at my table, typing, correcting mistakes, re-reading the same paragraph or verse to see if everything is perfect and finally posting it.
My biggest issue with writing for my blog is trying to keep my attention on one things because my mind goes everywhere and I end up with a bunch of written material that is all over the place and sometimes it’s impossible to put it into one cohesive post that is meaningful and (hopefully) well written.
This is one of the reasons I decided to start my Youtube channel because I believed that expressing myself through talk will give me more room to be creative or express my thoughts better than I do on paper. It’s like I resent myself for my stream of consciousness writing but when I film a video for Youtube where I am just talking and letting that stream of consciousness out through talking then I approve of it. Does that make sense?
I was reflecting about this a lot recently because I started to read more books again and I just admire people who can write a book, make everything fit and make sense. Whenever I have an idea and I have that urge to maybe even start writing a book, I soon give up because I am convinced that with my style of writing I would never be able to finish a book, develop a good plot etc.
I tried meditating to center my thoughts but it only works for a short period of time. What urks me the most is that if I have an idea for a blogpost, a YT video or inspiration to write a poem, if I don’t write it down that second I will not remember it in five minutes. If I am in a position where I cannot just drop everything to write down a thought, then it will be lost somewhere in the abyss of my mind.
I am aware that I have a lot of issues with repressed memory and I honestly want to know can this play into me forgetting what I was thinking in the span of 5 minutes. My ideas and inspiration are not a traumatic event, why is my brain trying to delete them.
I started this post wanting it to be short and I only wanted to talk about how I am proud of myself for posting more original content and now I am writing about my insecurities about writing a book and repressed memories. THIS IS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
I am going to wrap up this post now and go enjoy my Saturday. I hope you will all have a great weekend!