Poem #212

Don’t kick open a door and
tell someone to leave just to
stay surprised when they do
exactly that. It’s not strength,
you are not powerful for doing that.
Strength is being vulnerable enough
to ask someone to stay.

Typewriter Poetry


From The newborn wolf

Everything caught fire as she ripped pieces of paper
throwing them to the side. Every verse and every line
seemed to get her to a breaking point instead of
getting her up from the ground.

The wolves howled louder and stronger than before
just to let her know that if she runs away on all fours,
she won’t be alone. She knew she would never be tamed
because the wild instincts only grew stronger in her veins.

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You can’t be owned

You are a woman. Put a smile on your face, be sweet and kind, show emotions and be a stereotype we need you to be or we will call you insane, we will call you coldhearted and we will make you believe that there is something wrong with you just because you refuse to fall in the line.

We created these standards for you as a woman to live by and we’ve sent him to make you believe you are something to be owned. He will try to brainwash you and rip out every limb of your free will. He will make you believe that the torture you are going through is a life you deserve, he will make you believe that you were born to walk behind him, he will make you believe that it’s necessary for you to live under his fist and he will hide his intentions with a few nice gestures made to make you feel like a queen without knowing that your kingdom is your very special circle of hell. And if you complain and if you try to get out you will be the woman who cried abuse, the woman who cried rape, the woman who just cried and they will make you remember that this is a man’s world.

He will make a shell out of you. He will make you believe the only thing you have to offer is your body and that the only worth you have is between your legs. He will beg you to get down on your knees for him just so that you would be beneath him and look at him as the king on a throne he believes himself to be. If you don’t bow down to his authority he will place your head up against a wall and press on your neck until you feel the air disappearing from your lungs and he will do it just so you would feel the pain he allegedly felt when he realized that he can’t own you. He will make you believe that the pain he’s putting you through is only there to punish you for not loving him, not satisfying his needs, not being the stereotype he wanted you to be. He will break your bones and your will just because he needs a puppet on a string which will dance around him so he wouldn’t feel alone.

When you show no weakness, when you put on a poker face, when you decide to protect your body and soul from hitting the ground and when you walk away he will make you believe that you have a stone instead of a heart just because you were unable to give him what he needs. He will tell you that you have no conscience and he will try to force a feeling of guilt on you just so he could make your mind weaker, put you in shackles and drag you wherever he wants as if you were a display piece.

No matter what he tells you or how much he hurts you just remember this: “Your mind belongs to you and so does your body. There is nothing wrong with you, there is something wrong with him because he is in a fight which only exists in his head and he doesn’t understand he can’t get a revenge based on you not bowing down to his needs. He can pretend to be a king and he can pretend to be strong but he will never be as  strong as a woman that claimed ownership of her life when she was standing in front of a firing squad.”

Forgive yourself for the mistakes you made. Forgive him. Forgive all of them because you don’t need the poison of resentment and hatred in your soul. Let him fire all the shots at you because his ammo will disappear one day and he will be left with that voice in his head screaming: “There was no war to be fought! She is a human being, she is not a toy! The place in which her soul lies is a body, not a boxing bag! You were never her master, you were an oppressor!”

Who is he in reality? Your father, your husband or someone else?

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Power of love or love of power?

Any person with a slight view of their future has some sort of goals and dreams they are trying to achieve. I’m the kind of person that is so determined to make my dreams come true that sometimes I view everyday things as pure obstacles on my way. What happens when love, one of the strongest feelings, becomes an obstacle for us and we corrupt it in order to move forward?

During the course of my life I’ve never been in any kind of serious relationship and I kept telling myself it was because I can’t find the right guy or the right time or some other excuse people make up in order not to face their own feelings. Lately I’ve been getting tired of excuses and talking about the problems. I decided to face it.

I love power too much and I love having the power over my life and my future which means opening up to someone and showing them how weak I can be is an invasion of my power. Many of us are like that, but only some of us will confess it. Power is something people fight for everyday – at work, in schools, in society groups and in relationships, but did we take it too far? We took our hearts out of the picture and we gave our brains another function –they are beating for us.

Feelings, love, honesty, trust and loyalty are such a twisted phenomenon for us that we can’t even recognize them when we see them. People started perceiving relationships and opening up to people as a power trade in which they lose if the other side is being ‘’smart’’ enough to keep their power all to themselves and trade lies instead. We are ready to live in a relationship with our power but we aren’t ready to open up and create something worth living for.

Now I speak to all people like me. You have the power but the longer you keep it without risking it, the more it becomes comfort and you lose it. Selfishly holding on to your power and locking the doors of your world is showing fear and not power. The true power is being able to let someone in and stitch your wounds when they are gone. The true power is being strong enough to be weak in front of someone. The true power is standing strong after having your heart shattered. Love is true power, it’s not a weak point.

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