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Coffee Date

Coffee Date: Justifying rape culture makes you an accomplice

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Can you guess by the title that I am very triggered? You know me so well! 

*Just a comment before you begin reading: The topic discussed here might be extremely triggering to victims of sexual assault*

So, let me give you some insight into what actually happened. So a Serbian youtuber and a poor excuse for a human being came on to a TV show hosted by two women and tried to justify rape and victim blame women that are sexually assaulted. For you who know that I am Croatian and the history Croatia and Serbia have I would just like to emphasize that this is my opinion about that asshole of a man and his nationality did not influence my opinion at all. I am not a nationalist and I also plan to shit all over Croatian people who commented on this news and said they support his opinions. You are all on my agenda today.  

The neanderthal literally said that if a woman walks through a street and ends up getting raped that it’s her fault for walking there at that time in the first place. He literally said that men view women only as sexual objects. He also puts the blame on women’s outfits, as do all current and future rapists, he said that women should always tell a man that he is right and that if a woman comes to the apartment of a man she is obligated to have sex with him and that if she says no, the consequences of her “no” are on her. He also defines women as the weaker sex and he constantly has this message where women as the weaker sex should watch out and be careful not to provoke men or make them horny. Women know that sometimes we don’t do anything and men get horny and I don’t judge people for getting horny, we are all sexual beings, but it’s up to you to control your own fucking urges. Women also get horny when they see someone they find attractive and all of that is human but people are not animals, this is (no matter how hard to believe) a civilized society sweetie so keep it in your pants. 

So let’s start with this “if you get inside his apartment, it’s your fault” bullshit. I do not think that anyone should get inside the apartment of someone they do not trust completely. Even when you trust someone, you never know what their intentions are. From a young age, and now check this out, BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS should be taught not to talk to stranger no matter how old they are and to not sit in someone’s car or enter the apartment of a person they do not know. This does not only apply to women, it applies to men as well. Even though the cases of men being raped are often not reported, they do happen. And also, both young girls and boys can be sexually assaulted. So this goes for all. When someone says no then it’s no and if a person ignores that no and rapes somebody they should be convicted because they committed the crime and the victim does not carry the blame. Stop fucking victim blaming.  

Now, my favorite part of his victim blaming – our clothes, where we go, at what time we go somewhere and all of that bullshit current and future rapists use to justify their crime. I absolutely believe that this man is capable of raping women and that he might have done it before.  

I am going to do something you might not expect. I am going to defend men. Not Nixa or people who support his opinions but men. Real men, not future predators and criminals. Rape is sexual assault and it’s a form of violence an what is violence – a threat to modern, civilized society. This idiot tried to portray men as some animals who have no control over their basic urges and by doing that he described men in general as a threat to civilized society. I don’t understand men who want to be viewed as such. Why do you want to be portrayed as someone who should be put under control, in some institution in order not to hurt people? What do you gain from this? 

I refuse to believe this about men because first of all, I have a wonderful boyfriend and I have wonderful male friends who I know do not share the opinions of this neanderthal. There are men who understand that no means no and that they are not entitled to a woman’s body just because they find her attractive. Period. 

All of this victim blaming and telling women they are the weaker sex and that we should be submissive to men and that we are at fault it we are raped for me sounds like the last, desperate scream of a primitive man in a society that no longer values his physical strength. I don’t know if anyone told you but being physically stronger that a female does not mean shit today. We live in a modern, digitalized world where we place value on human intelligence, ability to use and develop new technology etc. This has been going on since the first industrial revolution and we live at a time in which we can confidently say that in a few decades, machines will replace us when it comes to physical labor. What do you stand to gain by being “the stronger sex”? Nothing. So men who put the emphasize on this, who are walking around pretending like they are above women and even men who are weaker than them are actually… very sad. No matter how triggered I was by his opinion, I pity him. This is a man who is deep down insecure because he does not bring much to the table so he is trying to maintain this feeling of relevancy and power by putting women and others down. This is a man who went and had surgery to prolong his legs and then lied about being in a car crash to justify the recovery period. Do I need to say anything else?  

If we even dig that deep to talk about classes and who has the power and who is “the weaker sex” in our society, we will notice that the weaker sex is not actually a sex but a financial status. Money is power in our society. It’s sad to say that, but it is the truth.  

Moving on to the comment section. One of Croatian’s news outlet picked up on the story and I put myself through the hell of reading the comment section. The comments can be liked and you see the like to dislike ration of the comments. 90% of them were in support of this man and his opinions and a lot of those comments had more likes than dislikes and I am fucking scared and ashamed of the society I live in. In the wake of a young child being brutally murdered and everyone constantly screaming that violence is on the rise in Croatia, especially in the pandemic because people were forced to be inside, we are this stupid and this ignorant to justify violence and victim blame. Pathetic. To everyone who thinks that there is a shred of truth in what this neanderthal said, I would just like to let you know that you are just as big of a problem as the rapists and criminals who commit violence against other people. Your mindset, your opinion, your support of violent criminals leads to more violence. I honestly hope that people won’t have to learn from their own experience that violence is never justifiable.  

I am revolted by all of this. 

I am out.  

Latest Poem: Poem #362
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Latest #savingme: Give Women Their Rage Back
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#savingme

#savingme – Why Me?

Another house
A new family
Why me
New school
No one knows me
why me
A different room
New monsters
why me
All alone
This house isn’t home
why me
Picked up and removed
They have no clue
Why me
My brother is gone
Can’t even call on the phone
why me
A million tragedies
Locked inside of me
why me
Remember smile and be polite
Complete strangers judging
why me
Examined under the light
Imperfection in plain sight
why me
Confused, damaged and all alone
Scary visions feel more like home
why me
Different than them
Only demons live within
Why me
Surviving the darkness
Hungry and cold
Why me
Sleeping on a bed of stone
Down by the river as viciousness unfolds
Why me

Written By

The Broken inside of me

https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

Categories
#savingme

#savingme – Just Breathe

Some days I just want to forget
Take a step forward
Learn to be truly free
Except it continues to be difficult
Thanks to the memories that imprison me
Why is it so difficult
I sit here alone finding it harder and harder just to breathe
The darkness within tugging at me
It sits just below the surface
So many things trigger it
I just don’t understand
Why did it have to be me
Pieced together like a pretty little package
Not knowing when the next moment will be that will sweep my legs out from under me
In an instant my world goes dark
Fear, shame, panic and flashes of the most horrible moments are the best way to describe what is lurking inside
In that moment it feels like I’m just learning to breath
Gasping for air as I struggle so desperately
Telling myself breathe, just focus and breathe
Seems so simple
Should be
Just not in those moments
And not so easy
I often wonder if there will ever be a moment when I’m not dealing with that grief
When all the broken pieces fall into place
Will they ever finally set me free
Would I ever learn to accept & love the pieces I use to be
So many years, my life since birth honestly
All the intricate fassets that hold such horrific memories
Secrets, memories re-written by those who should have protected me But you didn’t hear that from me
I still wonder why my mommy & daddy never felt any love for me
I learned to hide make myself small
Never asking for hugs & kisses just food & trips to the ER is what my life was summed up to be
Don’t say a word of what you have seen
Followed by threats of more torture & death
I waited for an escape
I prayed for someone to come save me
Death started to feel like my only way out
I know I thought about it more than once
Wishing for eternal life ever after
The thought so morbid but still was something that provided me pleasure
A safe place in my mind with secrets known only to me
Now that I think about those times it elicits a physical reaction in me
My heart is racing faster
My hands are trembling and shaking
My hearing is completely focused on every noise that is surrounding me
My eyes dart around this space ensuring no one can get to me
My thoughts racing but I continually keep reminding myself that I just need to breathe
A chill of despair is beginning to consume me
If I don’t distract myself quickly I’m not sure I will ever be able to
It’s not something I’ve ever taken further
I’m too scared that one day I will be too tired to keep running
My biggest fear is it catches up and all these years I’ve spent avoiding it will be no longer as I’m forced to face it
What will all the shattered pieces bring to the surface
How can I be re-broken if the shattered pieces have shaped and already created the broken shell of a woman that I’ve turned out to be
I now realize it’s the all these broken pieces that continue to rob me of the simple ability to just breathe.

Written By

The Broken inside of me

https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

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#savingme

#savingme – The Broken Inside of Me

I was born into a life no child should ever have to experience.

I have never known a Father’s love but instead a Father’s rage, addiction, violence, and being sexually abused.

I was only 2 when he stole a bigger part of me.
I was too young & didn’t understand but was left feeling confused.

I was only 4 when he ripped me apart physically.

Years & years of laughter, love, & joy were not what would be in store for me.
Instead i have faced countless surgeries, unbearable pain and eventually heartbreaking infertility.

Through no fault of my own just another thing he took from me.

The physical scars have distorted my body.
But it’s the emotional wreckage that has continued to haunt me.

I often wonder what that little girl would have grown up to be.

If only she hadn’t been so viciously stolen from me.
She had no time for playtime, fairytales, hopes or dreams.

But instead staying alive & keeping her sanity would be her biggest priority.

You may think she is a survivor & how true that might be
But it certainly doesn’t feel that simple with the daily reminders & horrific memories.

I was only 7 when she abandoned me.
A mother’s love,that I did not see.

Where was my protector & biggest fan.

The person who was suppose to build me up & tell me I can.
Horribly failed me in the short time we had together.
I only wished that she could have loved me better.
What was so wrong with me that my own birth parents could cause so much damage & destruction.
Not stopping to think about how all this would forever affect me.

I continue today living through all the repercussions.
What a tragedy at how my life started off to be.
All because they put addiction, abuse, violence, wants & selfish needs first instead of me.

Years of therapy, doctors & medication could never replace the shattered pieces of my heart, soul & innocence that they have stolen from me.

No justice was served or consequence for them to bare
Although apart they live worry free
No second thought of the damage caused to me
It is my burden to bear as they live their life vicariously
Wronged yet again through the system and no justice will ever prevail for me.

xoxo
♥️me

Thebrokeninsideofme

https://thebrokeninsideofme.com/

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to savingmestory@gmail.com and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

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The Poetry Bar

Violation

Don’t touch me I am dirty although my skin is flawless.
My heart and mind are filled with grudgulent dirty deeds.
I told them to stop but they kept pushing for more.
Now I am torn by the fact if I am dirty or clean.
They made me feel like a toy and certainly not woody or buzz.
The buzz in the hallways of school are that I am a sleeze or slut.
My friends have abandoned me because of this whole mess.
Don’t touch me I am dirty and need to be cleaned.
I hear voices constantly demeaning my character.
I hear this over and over. It must be true,
I never said stop or I dont want this.
I never ran away in tears or cried in fear.

My torturer is near and watches as I am made fun of,
ridiculed and put down by my peers.
Why has this happened to me?
Am I a toy not like buzz and woody but a system to an everyday evil ,
that has been accepted by the upcoming cutural behaviors of our new generational saviors.

They arent saviors, they are false prophets,
thinking it’s okay to wear loose or revealing outfits.
A womans body is a secret vessel that should be held to the highest royals.
Not a bid war given to the riches royal.

Don’t touch me I am dirty, I need to be cleaned.
Cleaned of this thought that I am filth and nothing more.
I look through the tabloids and see the “play” they make on “boys”.
Dishing out dirty lingerie and toys.
This culture believes this is the true meaning of satisfaction and beauty.

Don’t touch me, I’m clean.

Purified by the thoughts of being a strong woman.
I am a strong woman, no more picture perfect sculptures, I shall adore my own personal figure.

I will be the judge of what makes me comfortable, not “playboy” or any other centerfold.

I shall fold away the bad vibes and stick to what’s good.

I am an everyday woman, proud of my goods.

No longer a toy, no longer a prostitute, no longer a rape victim, this has improved my mood.

I will stand for what’s right and do what I must, to get my head back together and feel right about me.

This is a message to all the women who feel broken or ridden. You’re clean by nature and nothing can put you down as long as you have the will to withstand and rebel. Be proud of who you are and not let others make your choice!

Young aspiring poet/writer with a passion for telling short stories.

Blog: https://neseknows.blog/
IG: @neseknows

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

 

Categories
#savingme

#savingme Project

Guys, I noticed that the #savingme email inbox was still quite empty so I thought of giving it another shot. I know It’s weird that I am asking you to send in your abuse stories but I think they could be really helpful to you and to others. Maybe someone reads a story who is in a similar situation and it inspires him to try and say himself, get himself out of that situation and seek for help. Nobody is alone in this.

So please, please, please send your stories in or if you have a friend who has been through the devastating experience of abuse give him this link and ask him to join in. I think it’s important to speak up about matters like this and to let the world now that silence is not an option. The email is savingmestory@gmail.com and you can find more info by clicking here.