Coffee Date: Justifying rape culture makes you an accomplice

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Can you guess by the title that I am very triggered? You know me so well! 

*Just a comment before you begin reading: The topic discussed here might be extremely triggering to victims of sexual assault*

So, let me give you some insight into what actually happened. So a Serbian youtuber and a poor excuse for a human being came on to a TV show hosted by two women and tried to justify rape and victim blame women that are sexually assaulted. For you who know that I am Croatian and the history Croatia and Serbia have I would just like to emphasize that this is my opinion about that asshole of a man and his nationality did not influence my opinion at all. I am not a nationalist and I also plan to shit all over Croatian people who commented on this news and said they support his opinions. You are all on my agenda today.  

The neanderthal literally said that if a woman walks through a street and ends up getting raped that it’s her fault for walking there at that time in the first place. He literally said that men view women only as sexual objects. He also puts the blame on women’s outfits, as do all current and future rapists, he said that women should always tell a man that he is right and that if a woman comes to the apartment of a man she is obligated to have sex with him and that if she says no, the consequences of her “no” are on her. He also defines women as the weaker sex and he constantly has this message where women as the weaker sex should watch out and be careful not to provoke men or make them horny. Women know that sometimes we don’t do anything and men get horny and I don’t judge people for getting horny, we are all sexual beings, but it’s up to you to control your own fucking urges. Women also get horny when they see someone they find attractive and all of that is human but people are not animals, this is (no matter how hard to believe) a civilized society sweetie so keep it in your pants. 

So let’s start with this “if you get inside his apartment, it’s your fault” bullshit. I do not think that anyone should get inside the apartment of someone they do not trust completely. Even when you trust someone, you never know what their intentions are. From a young age, and now check this out, BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS should be taught not to talk to stranger no matter how old they are and to not sit in someone’s car or enter the apartment of a person they do not know. This does not only apply to women, it applies to men as well. Even though the cases of men being raped are often not reported, they do happen. And also, both young girls and boys can be sexually assaulted. So this goes for all. When someone says no then it’s no and if a person ignores that no and rapes somebody they should be convicted because they committed the crime and the victim does not carry the blame. Stop fucking victim blaming.  

Now, my favorite part of his victim blaming – our clothes, where we go, at what time we go somewhere and all of that bullshit current and future rapists use to justify their crime. I absolutely believe that this man is capable of raping women and that he might have done it before.  

I am going to do something you might not expect. I am going to defend men. Not Nixa or people who support his opinions but men. Real men, not future predators and criminals. Rape is sexual assault and it’s a form of violence an what is violence – a threat to modern, civilized society. This idiot tried to portray men as some animals who have no control over their basic urges and by doing that he described men in general as a threat to civilized society. I don’t understand men who want to be viewed as such. Why do you want to be portrayed as someone who should be put under control, in some institution in order not to hurt people? What do you gain from this? 

I refuse to believe this about men because first of all, I have a wonderful boyfriend and I have wonderful male friends who I know do not share the opinions of this neanderthal. There are men who understand that no means no and that they are not entitled to a woman’s body just because they find her attractive. Period. 

All of this victim blaming and telling women they are the weaker sex and that we should be submissive to men and that we are at fault it we are raped for me sounds like the last, desperate scream of a primitive man in a society that no longer values his physical strength. I don’t know if anyone told you but being physically stronger that a female does not mean shit today. We live in a modern, digitalized world where we place value on human intelligence, ability to use and develop new technology etc. This has been going on since the first industrial revolution and we live at a time in which we can confidently say that in a few decades, machines will replace us when it comes to physical labor. What do you stand to gain by being “the stronger sex”? Nothing. So men who put the emphasize on this, who are walking around pretending like they are above women and even men who are weaker than them are actually… very sad. No matter how triggered I was by his opinion, I pity him. This is a man who is deep down insecure because he does not bring much to the table so he is trying to maintain this feeling of relevancy and power by putting women and others down. This is a man who went and had surgery to prolong his legs and then lied about being in a car crash to justify the recovery period. Do I need to say anything else?  

If we even dig that deep to talk about classes and who has the power and who is “the weaker sex” in our society, we will notice that the weaker sex is not actually a sex but a financial status. Money is power in our society. It’s sad to say that, but it is the truth.  

Moving on to the comment section. One of Croatian’s news outlet picked up on the story and I put myself through the hell of reading the comment section. The comments can be liked and you see the like to dislike ration of the comments. 90% of them were in support of this man and his opinions and a lot of those comments had more likes than dislikes and I am fucking scared and ashamed of the society I live in. In the wake of a young child being brutally murdered and everyone constantly screaming that violence is on the rise in Croatia, especially in the pandemic because people were forced to be inside, we are this stupid and this ignorant to justify violence and victim blame. Pathetic. To everyone who thinks that there is a shred of truth in what this neanderthal said, I would just like to let you know that you are just as big of a problem as the rapists and criminals who commit violence against other people. Your mindset, your opinion, your support of violent criminals leads to more violence. I honestly hope that people won’t have to learn from their own experience that violence is never justifiable.  

I am revolted by all of this. 

I am out.  

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