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My life

Celebrating Small Wins

Do you know what are we doing today?  

Guys do you know what are we doing today?! 

We are celebrating small wins! 

I had a small win yesterdayIt was actually a big win for me because it took time, dedication and self-control to achieve this and I am very proud of myself for doing this. 

Yesterday it has been a year since I quit smoking. I have not had a cigarette for 365 daysYes, I know it’s a nasty habit I didn’t need to begin with but it is what it is. I started to smoke when I was 16 and now I am 24 years old and one year smoking free. 

If you just had to re-read the fact that I started smoking when I was 16, don’t judge. I can’t believe I am saying this, but it is very normal for Croatia to have kids experimenting with smoking since they are 15. But that’s not important now. 

stopped smoking and I am proud of myself. I tried to kick the habit several times and I actually did it now and I just wanted to share it with you. 

So let me knowwhat was your small win latelyWhat do you feel proud of achieving?  

Can’t wait to read your comments! 

Sending love and positive vibes, 

Luna 

Categories
Coffee Date

Coffee Date with Luna: Handling emotions

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today I decided to speak about something very close to my heart which is dealing with emotions and stress. I suck at it.

From a young age I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I understand that my upbringing in domestic violence took its toll on me but to this day I still am very bad at handling my emotions, expressing them (even with poetry) and addressing issues that cause me stress.

A lot of people have this problem which is why I decided to honestly speak about this, especially the cheap Band-Aids we use for a temporary fix. I started writing while I was a kid and this problem started. I would be locked up in my room while I was alone with my father and, since there wasn’t much to do for a kid between four walls, I would write everything from poetry, short stories to attempting to write actual books. And I just want to state that I did not have a computer then, all was done by hand. I had like a million notebooks. This did ease my emotions and the stress a bit but I never adopted a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

Around the time I abandoned writing all together for a few years, I started to go out, smoke and party. I started to smoke around the time I was 16. Cigarettes helped me relax, get my head straight and calm down if my nerves were getting the best of me. I know it’s an unhealthy habit but as I said, these were all quick fixes, I just wanted to instantly feel better about the world. I had my last cigarette more than two months ago and I am still struggling not to fall into this old habit.

Another quick fix for me is binge eating. I know that I maybe don’t look like someone who has problems with food, but I do. I could do a whole post about this so I am not getting to much into it now because we all know what binge eating is. (if you want that post, let me know).

This blog has been a great help for me in dealing with my emotions but I still do not have a healthy way to deal with them. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to my mental health which is why I believe people need to talk about it more. People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare. I am not calling people bad parents but I have a feeling that people are not being thought from a young age how to address and give a voice to all of the feelings which go on inside of them which is why, when we are older, we resort to unhealthy ways to deal with our emotions such as smoking, drinking, eating, violence and drugs. If I had any say in what the world should be like, I would put the subject “Handling emotions” to kids in school.

We ignore how we feel, go above and beyond to hide our emotions and they just go wild inside of our heads. Not being able to handle one’s emotions can leave us clinging to unhealthy relationships because not voicing our opinions and expressing our emotions became normal to us.

Well, this is just my opinions about this. What do you guys think – do people know how to handle their emotions, did you find yourself somewhere in this post? Tell me all about it in the comments and also let me know what you would like to read about in the next Coffee Date.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Categories
Poems

Poem #179

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Finding any excuse to fall into my old habits
One hand on the bottle, smoke coming from the other.
Always having an explanation for my wrongdoings.
I never let happiness linger in the room, I smash
the walls to let it out. I thought it was the
poet inside of me trying to find inspiration in pain
but I guess it’s my father’s damn legacy making
me destroy peace wherever I set foot in.

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Never let anyone’s opinion bother me.
The world is a nasty place, I heal my wounds in
alcohol and cigarettes. As I grow older I understand
him more and more and instead of seeing him
for the monster he was I see the monster’s cub
growing bigger in the mirror.

I guess I am my father’s daughter.
Let’s drink to the legacy you left me with daddy.

Categories
Poems

Poem #98

She just sat there and
smoked her cigarette
There’s a heavy crown
on her head but she refuses
to take it off for any man.
He was across the room and
her heart was jumping right
out of her chest. She wanted
to drop everything, walk to his
table and tell him how much he
means to her, how much he hurt
her, how much she misses him.
She wanted to feel his arms around
her waist again. She was confused,
on some level even ashamed of how
she felt so she just sat there and
smoked her cigarette.
There’s a heavy crown on her head
but she refuses to take it off for any man.

Categories
Poems

Poem #73

On that cold winter night her breath
resembled smoke coming out of her
mouth and it got you to a new level of
feeling because it reminded you of the
night she smoked a cigarette after
burning up between your fingers.

It was all experienced before but it all
felt so new. Like a boy you fell under
the spell of her deep blue eyes. In a
single breath, a glance, a smile you
realized you’ve loved her all this time.

You offered her a cigarette and she
told you she had quit and that’s when
the truth hit. Those nights you claimed
her yours were long gone. Those lips
you’d bite in between kisses were
now completely off limits.

And you wanted to ask her to come
over to your place for coffee and you
wanted to give her a hug and you
wanted to ask how she’s been doing
but you were scared she’ll tell you
there’s some other guy.

So you just stood there mesmerized
and got the answer to the question you
didn’t even knew you wanted to ask.
That beauty walking in the night was
the best thing you ever had. One more
night with her would mean kissing
happiness goodbye because she
would disappear before dawn.

Categories
Poems

Poem #51

If you quit smoking lighting up
just one more cigarette will lead you
to smoking a whole pack a day.
If you stopped drinking, just more
shot will bring you to the bottom of the bottle.
Bad habits have a way of pulling us
in, swallowing us whole and making us
their slaves who always crave more pain.

It’s the same with people. Once you
quit them, just one more moment
could lead to a relapse, months of
rehab and withdrawal crisis.
You can’t do something bad just once
thinking you will be able to wake up
in the morning and just be fine.

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Categories
Poems

Cigarettes

Like this cigarette, you are my vice and even though
you poisoned me you made me feel alive.
Like a cigarette I burned out. Your arrival
will be the fire – come here and light me up.

Like a cigarette

I wrote this little piece for a certain person a while ago and I remembered it today because I’ve quit smoking due to some health issues and I’ve been cigarette free for 20 days now. I know it’s a nasty habit and I’m glad I’m managing all of this well. I remember always writing with a cigarette in my mouth, I thought I couldn’t do it without them but I kicked the habit! Check out the whole poem clicking here.

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter  LunaTheblog
Bloglovin Luna