Fighting for Strenght

I roll with the punches life sets in motion.

It’s a game of playing distraction, usually.
Too much heat, and steely determination to overcome the struggle follows.
But I’m tired. I’m unsure. And I’m empty.

This game called life seems to weigh me down hard at all the wrong times.
Wish it could choose to pick the battles with me.
Stop just heaping one more thing on the pile.

Life, it’s not the best time to interfere yet again.

I feel like a resident in an understaffed hospital starting on hour 36 of my shift.
Numb from crisis and sleep-deprivation, handling one chaos after another like a zombie.
My reality is raging with every emotion on the spectrum.

Failing to process any now. I just can’t breathe.

It’s never-ending. I feel like giving up.

People don’t help.
They peek in and stare, then move on.
The expectation is you’ll be alright.
It’s none of their business.
They don’t have time.
They don’t care.

It’s on my shoulders, all the way.
I feel alone.
Decisions, emotions. It all runs together in a mashup of uncertainty.
How do I fix what I can’t control?

Do I try?
Give up?
Muster the minute bit of strength left and soldier-on?

No. Today I’m bogged down.
I’m latched tightly into the sorrow and overwhelming pressure.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel…

Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.

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