I’ve gone dark.
Could be my pants, shirt, socks, underwear or bra, but rest assured, dark will be somewhere on my body. As dark on my skin as dark as my insides.
It will remind me to get back to the emotions that were lost and fragmented. The good ones that shattered, and then scattered everywhere; becoming thin and almost non-existent. Seems odd, doesn’t it? To select gloom to inspire me after it tore me apart first. It’s my visual sticky note of what I let happen to me. It’s what I must do in order to go on. Otherwise, I don’t think I would.
Every emotion that came at me… shook me… HARD.
I’m scared being left with the impression of nothing being good, ever again.
That’s hard when evil-like enters your world. Goodness evaporates around them. And they’ve infected your life, damaged it with their intrusion. Hard to turn away when it directly affects you. Difficult to recover from a gut punch to take a deep breath, to know what to do next.
But I must. We must.
I’m in mourning for the events that unfolded. My darkness is showing. I will view this as a rebuttal, and strength. Preparation for a fight.
I don’t think I will be kind.
It feels that way when I’ve been defeated. I’m angry, even furious.
But I will rise up from the darkness. We will.
Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.
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