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I can’t tell you it’s good

“I can never tell you that it’s good, I can only tell you that they are alive”, is a sentence from my mother I will probably never be able to get out of my head.  

My uncle tested positive today. We are also pretty sure my aunt will as well. We are going from a bad scenario to a worse one far too fast.  

I am trying my best to shut out negative thoughts and the news out because I am not in a state where I could listen about protests, the number of infected and dead and think about losing family members. 

The thing is, all of us knew since 2020 that situations such as this might happen where you are just sitting around and waiting for some news about your loved ones but there really is no way to prepare yourself for it.  

My only light in the dark right now is seeing how strong my family is. No matter what happens to us and between us, we will show up for each other. Since my uncle tested positive, my aunt has a very high chance of also testing positive in the next few days so the rest of the family, specifically my mom and sister, are coming up with a plan on how to take care of all of them and make sure they have enough food, medicine and that all of their other needs are met. We have to come up with plans because the healthcare system in Croatia has come to a point (again) where we cannot completely rely on them. When we called the emergency service because of my grandma they told us that we were the 160th caller and that they can send an ambulance in about 5 hours. I cannot even imagine what those healthcare workers are going through right now and how exhausted they must be.  

I guess this will be another day for me spent waiting for news, zoning out, dissociating and staring at the ceiling. But we will get through this, all of us ❤

Love, 
Luna 

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