Coffee Date With Luna: Breathing

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines. It’s easier to live a habit than to expose your heart to feelings. Habits are layers of protection we hold so tight to without realizing we are suffocating under them.

Even when we decide to see what’s out there, we first build a layer of lies to support our layer of habits and we explore the world knowing damn well our habits are sitting at home and waiting for us. We are not taking risks; we are just becoming bigger cowards.

But we all felt something. There was something, someone, somewhere, back in the day and it made us feel. That four-letter word we labeled as unreachable – we’ve all felt it. But then reality came knocking at our doors and we weren’t prepared. Fairytales had a happy ending but no one told us that there was a part two where the king and queen sit back to back and just stare at the wall for the rest of their lives.

As we grow older, when we meet someone who evokes a feeling in us, someone who feels genuine, reality comes knocking even sooner. She doesn’t give us a fucking chance and we decide not to fight it. It is what it is, we must do what we must do. We hide and we crawl back under our layers of habits. It’s easier to be alone than to let anyone in.

Those who listen to their heart are immoral, those who listen to their head spend a lifetime pretending they are fine.

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines.

Coffee Date with Luna: I lost three hours of my life

Hello everyone and welcome to another coffee date with Luna!

We haven’t done these in a while because I can’t keep up with my own  schedule but now that I am home for two weeks and the only thing I do is read news on Corona, I decided to stick to the schedule. Since I don’t really have an idea about what to write, I decided to do a story time!

This post in inspired and sponsored by my own damn stupidity when it comes to finances and credit cards.

I have been trying to buy a new laptop for a month and forever and finally I set my sight on one and on Thursday I took my wallet, my laptop that barely functions anymore and decided to buy myself a new laptop. This was the first time that I was purchasing something I wasn’t paying for immediately in cash. I don’t know how you call this type of payment in English but I will be paying for the laptop through 12 months and the final price of the laptop went up for 5% because I wasn’t paying for it completely when purchasing. Please tell me in the comments how you call this type of payment in English because I do not feel like searching for it #lazy

So, I registered and all and then I came to the payment section. All of the sudden I was just looking at it like an idiot because I didn’t know what to do. There was Visa, Visa premium this and that. I did what any grownup, independent woman would do. I waited for my mommy to get back home to help me.

We had a lot to do that day so we postponed the failed laptop purchase for Friday. I realized I have the Visa Premium card which allows me to divide the price of the laptop on a 12 months’ payment. By I realized, I mean my mommy told me. Then I placed the credit card details and all of that, hit the purchase button, I was all excited because I finally found the laptop I want and then BOOM! Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Two months ago when I got the premium card via mail, I absolutely ignored the fact that I actually need to activate that fucking card. I called the customer care of my bank and the lady activated the card and walked me through the steps of downloading the app I need to pay online. I did all of that and then entered my card details again and tried purchasing the laptop. Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Since I knew that I had enough balance on my card to pay for the laptop I contacted the customer care of the web shop to see if there was some issue with the site or if maybe the laptop was out of stock.

They used the line I use at my job a lot: Call your bank, there’s an issue with your payment method. I was angry. I spent two hours trying to order the laptop. Then I went to that app I had to download and realized that there was no balance on that card. My other two card are linked and all of the money goes to one account. Then my dumb brain decided I can do this on my own.

I opened another app I have from my bank and transferred the amount I need to pay for the first monthly fee for the laptop to my Premium Visa. After two hours this was the first time I actually got something through. I had the confirmation that the money was transferred and all. I went to the other app to check the balance of the card and it was 0 AGAIN! I opened a chat box, called my bank’s customer service and no one was answering for 45 fucking minutes. In those 45 fucking minutes I tried to transfer the money two more times. So keep in mind that I tried to transfer 600 kunas (Croatia currency) from my bank account to my Visa Premium three times.

I finally got someone on the chat and the lady told me that the money will be visible on my Premium on Monday because all money transfers done after 3PM on Friday are visible on Monday even if I transfer money to my own card.

I was not happy so I took my not happy ass to the bank. I waited for half an hour there and when I finally got to talk to a really nice lady I explained what I did. Essentially I transferred the money three times and it will be visible on Monday, she cannot cancel the transfers, I won’t be able to transfer the money by myself back to my account and I will have to call that customer care that doesn’t answer to transfer the extra money back to my other account. So to sum up, I spent three hours of my life to be told I fucked up and that I will have to spend another two hours (probably) on Monday to fix this issue and I swear to God that if that laptop will be sold out on Monday I will be very angry at someone. Not myself for not knowing anything about credit cards, money transfers and payment methods but at someone.

So, there’s my story time. This is what I did for most of my day yesterday. It was not fun. At all.

How is your week going guys, how will you be spending your weekend? Are you staying safe, healthy and washing your hands often?

Also, what would you like to read more of in our Coffee dates? I actually through of making this story time a video but I am kind of shy to do it because I hear my voice on a video once and guys, it does not sound nice.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Creativity vs. Reality

Hello everyone!

And the award for the most absent blogger goes to yours truly! In the words of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again”

But I am back now. I know that usually our coffee dates are on Saturday but I guess I was so bad at blogging that I actually couldn’t keep up with my own schedule. Today I feel like talking about the actual reason why I have been so absent lately. You know I was ill for a while and then I got back to Zagreb and back to my job. And then I worked. And then I worked. And then I worked some more.

Sometimes I have a feeling like my job and becoming a “grownup” is seriously shutting down any source of creativity in me. I had some writers blocks and I know how much it sucks but this is something else. By the time I do everything that needs to be done, do my shift, stress the hell out because of my job, come home and get to my job number two I just want to get to my bed.

I feel like my life became lifeless which is causing my creativity and writing inspiration to deteriorate. Since writing has been a big part of my life since I was a kid, this feels like a whole part of my personality is just fading away. It is sometimes really scary to feel your, let’s say, childhood dreams being taken away from you because you have to do this thing called being an adult. I know I sound like a kid saying this but at the end of the day those things we dreamed of as children come back to haunt us when we start becoming everything we said we never would be.

I have been taking care of myself for a long time now, earning my money, paying my bills, just being an adult but then I stop and go to my blog. There were periods when I would publish daily and my inspiration was just at a high level and now? If I wrote about my life, it would be pretty empty. The type of poetry I write when I am feeling down and it has been like this for months now.

I thought about making some changes to turn things around, maybe even travel somewhere but then the questions start: Can I afford this, do I have any vacation days left, who would I go with since my friends are busy etc. It’s like with my creativity being gone, my brain starts to think more of obstacles than opportunities when I want to do or change something.

This isn’t the type of Coffee Date you are used to, but currently these are some very haunting thoughts I have been fighting with. Have you ever thought about this, experienced such issues? I would really love it for you to share your experience and opinions in the comment section and also let me know what you would like to discuss next in our Coffee Dates.

Thank you for reading this very weird post of just my thoughts and troubles with growing up.

Sending love and positive vibes
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: FOCUS

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

I spoke in a post this week that I am feeling a bit stressy depressy because I am struggling in my career and many other areas of my life. Things haven’t been going smoothly lately, I feel that my health is also deteriorating because of this. I am one of those people who will have general life problems and they will just project onto my health but I am working on this.

I am not here to tell you I am stressy depressy. I am here to tell you that I am done focusing on this and so should you. If there are, let say it, “black” areas in your life, a lot of negativity and problems and if you only focus on those then that will be all there is. Get your mind out of that dark place. I am not one to tell you to ignore any signs of negativity or depression in your life. I think it’s important to asses a situation and to know when your mental and physical health are in danger because it’s the only way to protect yourself and save yourself BUT – don’t let that be all there is.

Sometimes, when we are struggling the most, something good happens and we ignore it because we are so busy and overwhelmed with focusing on every negative aspect of our life. Turn the situation around. If you are struggling with your career or job, instead of focusing on the bad things, focus on having a job and being grateful for it while finding ways to improve your situation. I think this example says a lot about what I am actually trying to tell you.

Don’t let those bad thoughts invite more negativity into your life. Just try to find that positive event, that person that is making your life great or better – be the person that’s making your life great! You can achieve this by being grateful for what you have, seeing the negativity in your life and working on ways to make it better, turn it into something positive.

We are all battling our demons on a daily basis and we all have our reasons to do the things we do but without recognizing the good in our lives, we are letting those demons get the best of us.

Coffee date with Luna: Man, not an ATM

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today might be the day I receive backlash from some people because of my opinions but I do not care that much. It’s my opinion. You have the right to not agree with me.

Men are not walking ATM machines. Stop treating them like that. In the dating culture it is expected for the man to pay on the first date and it’s normal for me too. I am not going to lie, I expect it as well but the issue comes after the first date. There is a significantly increased amount of women and young girls who use dating as an excuse to get free food, drinks and gifts. I am not ranting about trends such as being a sugarbaby etc., I am actually referring to women taking advantage of men without them knowing that.

When you are a sugarbaby, the person paying for your lifestyle knows how the relationship works because it is consensual. What I do not approve of is girls dating guys, leading them on for their own personal gain. If a guy has a crush on you, likes you, asks you out, don’t use him to get free stuff, drinks and dinners. It’s time for these girls and women to learn that men are not here to be exploited.

I also think it’s inconsiderate of women to lead men on for personal gain. You are actually using someone’s love for you or affection to get something you want without considering you are giving him false hope. These situations always end up with someone being hurt, and it’s just not worth it.

As a person who has a full time job, I know how much I have to work to get my paycheck and I think it would actually be selfish and ignorant of me to date a guy and expect him to pay for our drinks, food, movie tickets etc. I am maybe the last person who should be writing about this since I have no social life and am not dating anyone because I am dating my job and blog, but this has always been my personal opinion.

I understand that guys are under the pressure that they need to pay for every date but that shouldn’t be the case. I am speaking from my own example. If I like a guy and I want to spend time with him, get to know him, I will always try to be 50/50. Some guys have been embarrassed when I would pay for our drinks and I understand their point of view but, according to me, men need to start respecting themselves more in this area. If a girl pays for drinks or something else, it is not insulting. It just means that she doesn’t mind paying because she is not there to get something – she is there to be with you.

There you have it. I am the girl that gets guys in uncomfortable positions and pays on dates. Probably, one of the reasons why I am single as a pringle.

I am sorry about not posting that much in the last few days but my laptop has been acting out lately. He just randomly crashes or shuts down but I am looking for a new one so I can work in peace.

Do share your thoughts on this subject with me and let me know what would you like to read about or discuss in the next Coffee Date with Luna! Can’t wait to see your comments and suggestions.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: Handling emotions

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Today I decided to speak about something very close to my heart which is dealing with emotions and stress. I suck at it.

From a young age I didn’t know how to handle my emotions and I understand that my upbringing in domestic violence took its toll on me but to this day I still am very bad at handling my emotions, expressing them (even with poetry) and addressing issues that cause me stress.

A lot of people have this problem which is why I decided to honestly speak about this, especially the cheap Band-Aids we use for a temporary fix. I started writing while I was a kid and this problem started. I would be locked up in my room while I was alone with my father and, since there wasn’t much to do for a kid between four walls, I would write everything from poetry, short stories to attempting to write actual books. And I just want to state that I did not have a computer then, all was done by hand. I had like a million notebooks. This did ease my emotions and the stress a bit but I never adopted a healthy way to deal with my emotions.

Around the time I abandoned writing all together for a few years, I started to go out, smoke and party. I started to smoke around the time I was 16. Cigarettes helped me relax, get my head straight and calm down if my nerves were getting the best of me. I know it’s an unhealthy habit but as I said, these were all quick fixes, I just wanted to instantly feel better about the world. I had my last cigarette more than two months ago and I am still struggling not to fall into this old habit.

Another quick fix for me is binge eating. I know that I maybe don’t look like someone who has problems with food, but I do. I could do a whole post about this so I am not getting to much into it now because we all know what binge eating is. (if you want that post, let me know).

This blog has been a great help for me in dealing with my emotions but I still do not have a healthy way to deal with them. I still have a lot of work to do when it comes to my mental health which is why I believe people need to talk about it more. People who have some types of healthy emotional upbringing are rare. I am not calling people bad parents but I have a feeling that people are not being thought from a young age how to address and give a voice to all of the feelings which go on inside of them which is why, when we are older, we resort to unhealthy ways to deal with our emotions such as smoking, drinking, eating, violence and drugs. If I had any say in what the world should be like, I would put the subject “Handling emotions” to kids in school.

We ignore how we feel, go above and beyond to hide our emotions and they just go wild inside of our heads. Not being able to handle one’s emotions can leave us clinging to unhealthy relationships because not voicing our opinions and expressing our emotions became normal to us.

Well, this is just my opinions about this. What do you guys think – do people know how to handle their emotions, did you find yourself somewhere in this post? Tell me all about it in the comments and also let me know what you would like to read about in the next Coffee Date.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: Being pretty is not a career

Hello and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna.

Today we will be discussing something I never talked about that much on my blog and it’s social media. Those of you who follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog know that I am pretty active on my IG, I post almost every day, put up Instagram stories etc., which is why I believe that I do understand the platform as well as other social media networks. For me all social media is just a way to promote my blog, The Poetry Bar, I also do have a certificate in Digital Marketing and plan on making a career out of it with time so you can say that I do love social media but…

What bothers me regarding social media is the fakeness people are selling. I understand that you are always trying to look your best on pictures and give out the impression that you are living this fabulous lifestyle and I think we all got used to that but my problem is with the dream social media sold to people which states: You can make your looks your whole career.

You know what I am talking about. This especially affects young girls. They are under the impression that if they look a certain way and are physically attractive that they can make money off their pics and not have a single care in the world. I am so annoyed by these types of people. This is not a jealousy rant because I could never be an Instagram model. I just think that the rise of this social media models/influencers trend has taken a toll on education and people’s physical and mental health.

People are under the impression that they have to have a certain body type, be in shape, with big lips and a huge ass in order to be beautiful and successful on social media. Let me voice my opinion here very clearly: Looks will fade and Instagram will not pay for your bills then – get some skills in life other than taking good selfies.

I just think that all of these models and influencers have very big platforms they could use for good such as promoting a healthy body image, volunteering, raising awareness about important issues rather than selling a fake, unattainable reality. I love people who, next to running successful social media accounts, have blogs, make videos – are in general content creators and use their platforms to do good and actually made a full time job off of them and this is not referring to those people. This is actually my opinion in regards to people who only pose for pictures and expect others to worship them because they look a certain way. And don’t even get me started on photoshop and other tools used to manipulate their body in images.

This trend which has taken over our lives in the past few years, doesn’t seem to come to an end. I do like the way that social media has given everyone a voice and a platform to share their skills and opinions but some people just take it too far. They claim themselves to be influencers to demand free stuff from smaller brands, they threaten companies with “exposing them” on social media if something isn’t the way they want it to be, expect brands and larger companies to break their policies in order to suit their needs, believe they have the right to eat and drink for free in restaurants and bars if they take a pic there – just like what the actual fuck?

If a brand, company, restaurant, bar or a hotel invites you in, offers you something for free, wants to collab with you then that is okay, it’s their choice, they appreciate you and think you would be good for their business, but actually demanding them to do so because you have a few thousand followers on Instagram is disrespectful, immature and if I was an owner of a company and you did that to me I would take the conversation public and ban you from ever entering my company. Your Instagram pictures do not pay employees who do the work to make your, per example, stay at a restaurant pleasant. Likes on Instagram won’t provide for a waiter who brought you drinks. Just in general, if you are not an actual content creator your social media platform doesn’t even offer good exposure for companies or makes them any profit.

I really went off topic here a bit, but I think you get my point. I am just generally not supporting this trend that has been spreading for years across the world because it’s making people entitled and lazy as hell.

What is your opinion on this matter and what are your views on social media trends?

Also, what would you like as a topic for the next Coffee date?

Can’t wait to read your comments!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna