Coffee Date with Luna: Why?

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Our theme of today is not a very nice one but it’s a necessary one. I understand that there are many important subjects we could discuss and write about here but I, as a survivor or domestic abuse and a person that knows damn well how the system works, have to speak about this.

Epstein. May he rot in hell for all eternity and may that abomination of a woman that’s in jail now join him after she spills the truth on everyone involved.  Disgusting. It is disgusting that the authorities knew about this while they were abusing and trafficking girls. We all know it’s all true. We all know those girls do not have a reason to lie and that they are just a drop in the ocean of millions of girls whose childhood and teenage years were taken away from them. Why aren’t we talking about the girls who were brainwashed, scared into submission, to the sisters that were IGNORED BY THE FBI WHEN THEY SPOKE UP YEARS BEFORE EPSTEIN HAD A RAPE ISLAND!!!!!

Disgusting. I could insult and rain shit on Epstein and Maxwell but let’s talk about the actual impact this has on women who are victims of any type of assault and abuse, not just sexual.

Why was Epstein able to do what he did?
Money

Why was he conveniently suicided when the eye of the public was on this case?
Power.

The two things that run the world and are well connected. This shit went to the top. Why is no one speaking about that carrot looking troll in the White house who is a known misogynist, who insulted women and said “you need to grab them by the pussy” – why is no one looking into his friendship with Epstein? Why is prince andrew still free? Why are we letting this happen in front of our eyes.

A victim has come forward and accused prince andrew and he is out while she is still fighting for justice.  Even if there’s a crown on your head or a title in front of your name, you will be held accountable. I think it’s just deplorable how the British press had more to say about Markle, how they harassed her while there’s an alleged pedophile in the “royal” family. We can also talk about how the “royal” family is not saying anything about this, but I do not have the whole day. All I will say that as long as the powerful protect the powerful, the rest of us are a long way from justice.

And this is what scares the shit out of me. This case went up to the top. Not only were judges, FBI and lawyers looking at this, the world was keeping up with this case. The world was looking at this and everyone involved is telling women all across the world that they need to shut up when they are assaulted because no one is doing shit about it.

We are literally looking at money buying a way out for pedophiles so why should women anywhere be encouraged to speak out not only on Epstein but on other men? I know what fear is and I know what it means to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE in a system designed to fail the victims and this is not an exaggeration. Why don’t we understand that women speaking out on assault and looking for protection are actually trying to save their life? Why do we need a dead woman, bodies piling up to realize that the fight against abuse is a fight for life?

True story now. I was a minor when I testified against my father and I mean, I was a minor! I have memories of my childhood very suppressed but I was somewhere between 10-12 years old. A psychiatrist who worked with my father stated that he is a man capable of killing. A trained specialist in his field described my father as a potential murderer. The police ignored us for years, there was actually a plot to get my sister and me away from my mom and we fought through everything, we got our day in court. Do you know what happened when 10-12 years old me stepped out of the judge’s room where I testified? My father was sitting there. The system that finally said “We are here to protect you before he kills you” let my severely violent father know that his underaged child was giving a testimony which will help to put him in prison. The fear I felt that day in something that cannot be described in words. For years I lived in fear of him escaping and killing the three of us. And just for the record, he did escape a few times from the facility where they held him after he got out of jail.

So these aggressions against women in the Epstein case by the system happen on a daily basis as well and why should women feel encouraged to step out or believe they have the right to protection if we are looking at pedophiles and rapists walking around freely while there are evidence and allegations against them?

I know that his coffee date has been a lot of WHY? But I believe you got my message. I am just here being 24 years old and still fighting my traumas, looking at this case and asking myself

When is this going to stop?

When are women going to have rights in reality, not just paper?

When will humanity be more important than money?

When will there be justice?

How many more victims are there?

How many more will there be?

Saturday talks

Hello everyone, hope you are having a great Saturday!

Since the last rant things have remained the same with this clogged ear of mine, I am still deaf but I am happy because yesterday I came home. I am finally in my apartment and in my room and I’ve missed it soooooo much.

And I’ve missed my mom’s cooking. I’ve had a bit too much food today and I always do this when I come home to my mom after a long period of time. I am a lousy cook and also I do not like to cook so coming home to her is a blessing when it comes to food.

I have been having some issues with my diet lately and I have been thinking about transitioning to a Mediterranean diet. It wouldn’t be so hard for me because it bases on fruits and veggies which I already eat an abundance off.

What else is neeeeew? Oh yeah, we are soon reaching 6k subscribes on this blog and I never thought this will happen. Like, we are closer to 10k than to 1k which we had a few months ago. I love how fast our little community is growing – not so little anymore to be honest!

This whole blog was a real step out of my comfort zone, especially since I made the vacation vlog and published it on Youtube. It’s the small things that count, you know. I am actually trying to come up with some video ideas when I already opened a Youtube channel.

I have been writing a new Coffee Date with Luna for the last week and a half. It’s just some of my thoughts about that disgusting piece of shit Epstein. As you can see, I hate him and I am sorry that he was killed before her could pay for what he has done and before he could open that filthy mouth on everyone else who was involved. Yes, this post escalated quickly and yes I do believe that he was killed. That wasn’t a suicide. Period.

The reason why it’s taking me so long to upload and finish that Coffee Date is because I have so much rage I have to censor and the post is right now 6 pages long and it’s too much. I am just all over the place when it comes to this topic.

As you can see, ranting too much in my posts is kind of my thing. The only thing short about me is my height and my poetry. I was actually thinking of posting shorter, concise posts here and maybe making videos on Patreon for those who want to listen to me talk.  BTW, if you would be interested in this, let me know in the comments.

And I also have to come up with Youtube video ideas. If you have suggestions, use the comment section to let me know. I am also working on a poem. I am being very productive when it comes to my content creating and it makes me happy.

I am going to stop talking now and hit the shower. It is uncomfortably hot in Croatia. The type of hot when you are just doing nothing and you can feel sweat running down your back. That type of uncomfortably hot.

I am really gone now.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

I will go van Gogh on this ear

Hello everyone!

I am just having a quiet evening and decided to post a little bit something. A few days everything has been a bit more quiet for me because I have problems with my left ear. I barely hear anything and I almost overslept my alarm today because I can’t hear well.

I don’t know what’s happening with my ear because I am in Zagreb and my doctor is in Zabok and I went here in Zagreb to see a doctor on Sunday. In Croatia you have emergency rooms of course but you also have like doctor offices that are on duty. Major cities such as Zagreb also have dentists which work on the weekend and so on. I don’t know how to explain the Croatian health system well because I don’t own that vocabulary to be honest.

So I went there on Sunday explained that this ear thing was causing issues and it hurt. I also work as an agent in a call center, I can’t be half deaf. The nurse was getting on my nerves with explaining that I shouldn’t have come because this isn’t an emergency. I got a bit irritated and told her that I didn’t come to an emergency room but to a doctors office and I have the right to do so if I have a health issue. I understand that it’s advisable to avoid doctor offices now but I cannot examine my ear on my own and I am stuck in Zagreb until Sunday. So, I won’t be able to go to my personal doctor until Monday.

So she lets me in and the doctors checks out my ear and says that due to the symptoms there’s a really big chance that I have an inflamed ear but she couldn’t see because my ear was also severely clogged which is why I am half deaf. I don’t know if you ever had a clogged ear but you cannot solve this on your own. The doctor has to take like a big syringe and wash out your ear. People tend to sometimes try this on their own but you can mess up your ear, balance center… And then the truth came. It was a very big problem that I came there with a possible inflamed ear because they did not have the equipment to solve it. They didn’t have the syringe to wash out my ear and bring back my gift of hearing and that caused them to be unable to actually see is my ear inflammed. According to them, it was not an emergency for which they have equipment and according to me THAT’S WHY I CAME TO A DOCTOR’S OFFICE NOT AN EMERGENCY ROOM!

I am angry, half deaf, the ear situation is also causing issues with my throat and nose. It’s a mess. And it’s also uncomfortably hot in Croatia. Like I literally work from home and am sweating while sitting and typing. It’s awful.

Don’t you just love when I come and post a little bit and I go on a whole rant? Maybe I should start making videos where I just randomly talk now that I made a YT channel for the vacation vlog. I am really glad I got the courage to do something like that. It was a really big step out of my comfort zone.

To end this rant about my ear on a positive note, I found an amazing singer on YT. I don’t know how I’ve never heard of her before. I just wanted to share her with you. Last time I got this obsessed with someone, it was Lewis Capaldi. Check her out! She made a cover of my favorite song and below I will also link her original song.

This is it for me now guys. Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Last poem by Luna: Poem #333
Our First Travel Vlog: Vacation Vlog – Island of Krk, Croatia

 

Rain, rain, go away

Hello everyone! 

You know when it’s such a beautiful sunny day, the summer is in the air. You put on a summer outfit, jacket not needed and head to work. And after killing yourself for 8 hours you look outside the window and realize that someone pissed off Zeus during the afternoon or that the nature is casually trying to wash COVID away with a storm.  

I came home so wet that I had to drain the water out of my shirt when I took it off. By the way that shirt was light blue, now it’s dark blue.

Also while I was taking my romantic after-work walk in the rain that shirt was so stuck to me that it felt like a second layer of skin.. I hate rain and I also hate carrying an umbrella around, I am not Rihanna. 

Anyways, I am going to enjoy my Noodles now, I deserved them. 

Have a lovely day/evening 
Sending love and positive vibes, 

Luna 

Croatian Karen

Hello everyone and welcome to an episode of me being heated. 

I have spent the day stuck with my laptop working on editing my  vacation vlog and actually learning how to edit a vlog and I postponed going to the store. In the evening I decided to go to the store to pick up some stuff I need and to take a walk because I have been staring at the screen for hours.  

It became mandatory to wear a mask in stores and I always have them in my bag. So I grab the things I need and go the checkout counter. There were three people in front of me and a few behind me and only one checkout counter was working. This is a common thing in this particular store. They have about 5 checkout counters and mostly only one actually works.  

The guy working at the checkout counter is obviously new or is a student working part time. He had a woman complaining about something, wanting to speak about it to someone and she was nagging him while he was charging a man for his purchase and then the Croatian Karen behind me opened her entitled mouth.  

She asked the guy working there if he could call another employee to open a second checkout counter so that we wouldn’t have to wait in line and I agreed. In this situation, it’s not ideal for people to stand in line at the store. He had to call someone about the woman complaining about the product and when the Croatia Karen realized that the second employee wasn’t there to open a checkout counter but to attend to the other client she went off.  

“We want you to open another checkout counter. What is this, open another checkout counter!!!!” 

And then she addressed him in a very rude manner. Let’s say she said something like “Hello boy, can you hear me”. I wanted to punch her so badly. I just wanted to punch her. Everyone was standing in line, waiting calmly and she was there being entitled as fuck. Everyone feels uncomfortable wearing a mask and no one wants to stand in line but shit happens. No one forced you to come to that store. If it was uncomfortable for her to wear a mask she could’ve stopped and asked herself how uncomfortable did the workers feel having to wear them for 8 hours. It is a problem to have people standing in line waiting in a store but it’s also the workers who are there for 8 hours dealing with customers and are at a bigger risk of getting the virus than a person that comes, buys and exits.  

People, I wanted to punch her and it took control and a lot of inner self talk to prevent myself from telling her to shut up. Luckily, another coworker came and opened a checkout counter and I don’t think it’s necessary to mention that all of the customers moved so that she could go to the checkout first.  

Karen didn’t even exit the store properly, she was already taking off the mask. The only thing more Karen than this is Karens not wearing masks at all. 

Anyways, I bought myself some chocolate as well so I am happier now and not heated anymore. 

 Sending love and positive vibes 

Luna 

Coffee Date with Luna: 20 something crisis

Hello Everyone! 

It has been a long time since I just posted on the blog, had a talk with you or in this case, a cup of coffee. There is a reason for that. I have been going through a bit of a crisis that I do not know how to explain to myself or to others. 

I have a good job which keeps me financially stable, recently I met someone very special in my life, since I started working from home I have had more time to spend with my family, I have great friends and the list could go on about the things that are really going for me right now and still I am so miserable. There is a constant feeling of something missing in my life and it’s eating me away.  

I know that my career choices have a lot to do with my unhappiness. My goal in life was not and is not to be a customer service agent. I do like this job and I absolutely adore the people I am working with but there is still that feeling that something is missing. I have been in this career crisis on and off for the past 2 years and it’s a normal thing every 20something goes through but I can feel my mental health going to hell fast because I cannot cope with not having a purpose in life. Being aware of the fact that my degree is worthless and that no one wants to hire me in digital marketing because I have no fucking experience is not making this easy on me.  

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of working as a customer service agent. I have been feeling like shit for the last two weeks because I knew that I was reaching that one year at a job that was supposed to be temporary until I get my Digital Marketing certificate so that I can do something I am 100% invested in. But again there is this fear – what if I get into a Digital marketing agency and realize after some time that it’s not what I actually want? What if I just got that certificate to cover up for the fact that I dropped out of grad school without a fucking plan? 

As you can see, I am struggling which is why I haven’t been so active on the blog. I have had problems opening up to people about this because they either do not understand completely what I am saying or hit me with “Do you know how many people lost their job during quarantine and how many people are being paid less because of the COVID situation and how lucky you are right now?”  

Yes, I do know. 

I haven’t been fired, my job was never in question and there were no paycheck cuts in my firm. The only difference for us was that we had to work from home. That is it. Not a single person in the customer care center where I work felt the effects of quarantine when it comes to job security and money and this is amazing and I applaud the company for that.  

I don’t know if I am able to put this nicely, but I do not know how to feel okay and satisfied with my life just because others have it worse. Other people being in bad situations shouldn’t be a standard for me to feel good about myself and about my life but I have often felt under attack if I expressed any of these opinions out loud which made the struggle in my head even worse because it is all in my head. 

And then I opened up my laptop today and decided to write this mess out because this is my safe place and I often stray away from it when I’m in trouble but I am glad to be back. Thank you for putting up with my annoying rant about unhappiness. I know that our Coffee Dates are usually reserved for happy thoughts but I just had to get this off my chest. 

Please do let me know if you experienced similar issues and how did you deal with them? Let’s be the supportive WordPress community that we are.  

Also, we already passed 5,5k followers here on WordPress, my Poetry Bar inbox is full of your submissions so let me know if there’s any type of different content you would like to see on this blog. I publish from 3-5 Poetry Bar works daily, do you want more? Would you like for me to write about the current events, maybe to do story times, do you have some questions for me so we can do a Q&A type post. Tell me all of your wishes down in the comments because, honestly, I need some content ideas and working on this blog has always helped me work through my personal issues.  

I love you all, thank you for being so amazing and so supportive! 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

Coffee Date With Luna: Breathing

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines. It’s easier to live a habit than to expose your heart to feelings. Habits are layers of protection we hold so tight to without realizing we are suffocating under them.

Even when we decide to see what’s out there, we first build a layer of lies to support our layer of habits and we explore the world knowing damn well our habits are sitting at home and waiting for us. We are not taking risks; we are just becoming bigger cowards.

But we all felt something. There was something, someone, somewhere, back in the day and it made us feel. That four-letter word we labeled as unreachable – we’ve all felt it. But then reality came knocking at our doors and we weren’t prepared. Fairytales had a happy ending but no one told us that there was a part two where the king and queen sit back to back and just stare at the wall for the rest of their lives.

As we grow older, when we meet someone who evokes a feeling in us, someone who feels genuine, reality comes knocking even sooner. She doesn’t give us a fucking chance and we decide not to fight it. It is what it is, we must do what we must do. We hide and we crawl back under our layers of habits. It’s easier to be alone than to let anyone in.

Those who listen to their heart are immoral, those who listen to their head spend a lifetime pretending they are fine.

And so we live just like we are breathing. Out of habit. We are just going through the motions, there’s nothing genuine in our reactions or routines.

Coffee Date with Luna: I lost three hours of my life

Hello everyone and welcome to another coffee date with Luna!

We haven’t done these in a while because I can’t keep up with my own  schedule but now that I am home for two weeks and the only thing I do is read news on Corona, I decided to stick to the schedule. Since I don’t really have an idea about what to write, I decided to do a story time!

This post in inspired and sponsored by my own damn stupidity when it comes to finances and credit cards.

I have been trying to buy a new laptop for a month and forever and finally I set my sight on one and on Thursday I took my wallet, my laptop that barely functions anymore and decided to buy myself a new laptop. This was the first time that I was purchasing something I wasn’t paying for immediately in cash. I don’t know how you call this type of payment in English but I will be paying for the laptop through 12 months and the final price of the laptop went up for 5% because I wasn’t paying for it completely when purchasing. Please tell me in the comments how you call this type of payment in English because I do not feel like searching for it #lazy

So, I registered and all and then I came to the payment section. All of the sudden I was just looking at it like an idiot because I didn’t know what to do. There was Visa, Visa premium this and that. I did what any grownup, independent woman would do. I waited for my mommy to get back home to help me.

We had a lot to do that day so we postponed the failed laptop purchase for Friday. I realized I have the Visa Premium card which allows me to divide the price of the laptop on a 12 months’ payment. By I realized, I mean my mommy told me. Then I placed the credit card details and all of that, hit the purchase button, I was all excited because I finally found the laptop I want and then BOOM! Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Two months ago when I got the premium card via mail, I absolutely ignored the fact that I actually need to activate that fucking card. I called the customer care of my bank and the lady activated the card and walked me through the steps of downloading the app I need to pay online. I did all of that and then entered my card details again and tried purchasing the laptop. Error, your purchase didn’t go through. Since I knew that I had enough balance on my card to pay for the laptop I contacted the customer care of the web shop to see if there was some issue with the site or if maybe the laptop was out of stock.

They used the line I use at my job a lot: Call your bank, there’s an issue with your payment method. I was angry. I spent two hours trying to order the laptop. Then I went to that app I had to download and realized that there was no balance on that card. My other two card are linked and all of the money goes to one account. Then my dumb brain decided I can do this on my own.

I opened another app I have from my bank and transferred the amount I need to pay for the first monthly fee for the laptop to my Premium Visa. After two hours this was the first time I actually got something through. I had the confirmation that the money was transferred and all. I went to the other app to check the balance of the card and it was 0 AGAIN! I opened a chat box, called my bank’s customer service and no one was answering for 45 fucking minutes. In those 45 fucking minutes I tried to transfer the money two more times. So keep in mind that I tried to transfer 600 kunas (Croatia currency) from my bank account to my Visa Premium three times.

I finally got someone on the chat and the lady told me that the money will be visible on my Premium on Monday because all money transfers done after 3PM on Friday are visible on Monday even if I transfer money to my own card.

I was not happy so I took my not happy ass to the bank. I waited for half an hour there and when I finally got to talk to a really nice lady I explained what I did. Essentially I transferred the money three times and it will be visible on Monday, she cannot cancel the transfers, I won’t be able to transfer the money by myself back to my account and I will have to call that customer care that doesn’t answer to transfer the extra money back to my other account. So to sum up, I spent three hours of my life to be told I fucked up and that I will have to spend another two hours (probably) on Monday to fix this issue and I swear to God that if that laptop will be sold out on Monday I will be very angry at someone. Not myself for not knowing anything about credit cards, money transfers and payment methods but at someone.

So, there’s my story time. This is what I did for most of my day yesterday. It was not fun. At all.

How is your week going guys, how will you be spending your weekend? Are you staying safe, healthy and washing your hands often?

Also, what would you like to read more of in our Coffee dates? I actually through of making this story time a video but I am kind of shy to do it because I hear my voice on a video once and guys, it does not sound nice.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Creativity vs. Reality

Hello everyone!

And the award for the most absent blogger goes to yours truly! In the words of Britney Spears “Oops I did it again”

But I am back now. I know that usually our coffee dates are on Saturday but I guess I was so bad at blogging that I actually couldn’t keep up with my own schedule. Today I feel like talking about the actual reason why I have been so absent lately. You know I was ill for a while and then I got back to Zagreb and back to my job. And then I worked. And then I worked. And then I worked some more.

Sometimes I have a feeling like my job and becoming a “grownup” is seriously shutting down any source of creativity in me. I had some writers blocks and I know how much it sucks but this is something else. By the time I do everything that needs to be done, do my shift, stress the hell out because of my job, come home and get to my job number two I just want to get to my bed.

I feel like my life became lifeless which is causing my creativity and writing inspiration to deteriorate. Since writing has been a big part of my life since I was a kid, this feels like a whole part of my personality is just fading away. It is sometimes really scary to feel your, let’s say, childhood dreams being taken away from you because you have to do this thing called being an adult. I know I sound like a kid saying this but at the end of the day those things we dreamed of as children come back to haunt us when we start becoming everything we said we never would be.

I have been taking care of myself for a long time now, earning my money, paying my bills, just being an adult but then I stop and go to my blog. There were periods when I would publish daily and my inspiration was just at a high level and now? If I wrote about my life, it would be pretty empty. The type of poetry I write when I am feeling down and it has been like this for months now.

I thought about making some changes to turn things around, maybe even travel somewhere but then the questions start: Can I afford this, do I have any vacation days left, who would I go with since my friends are busy etc. It’s like with my creativity being gone, my brain starts to think more of obstacles than opportunities when I want to do or change something.

This isn’t the type of Coffee Date you are used to, but currently these are some very haunting thoughts I have been fighting with. Have you ever thought about this, experienced such issues? I would really love it for you to share your experience and opinions in the comment section and also let me know what you would like to discuss next in our Coffee Dates.

Thank you for reading this very weird post of just my thoughts and troubles with growing up.

Sending love and positive vibes
Luna

Coffee Date with Luna: FOCUS

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

I spoke in a post this week that I am feeling a bit stressy depressy because I am struggling in my career and many other areas of my life. Things haven’t been going smoothly lately, I feel that my health is also deteriorating because of this. I am one of those people who will have general life problems and they will just project onto my health but I am working on this.

I am not here to tell you I am stressy depressy. I am here to tell you that I am done focusing on this and so should you. If there are, let say it, “black” areas in your life, a lot of negativity and problems and if you only focus on those then that will be all there is. Get your mind out of that dark place. I am not one to tell you to ignore any signs of negativity or depression in your life. I think it’s important to asses a situation and to know when your mental and physical health are in danger because it’s the only way to protect yourself and save yourself BUT – don’t let that be all there is.

Sometimes, when we are struggling the most, something good happens and we ignore it because we are so busy and overwhelmed with focusing on every negative aspect of our life. Turn the situation around. If you are struggling with your career or job, instead of focusing on the bad things, focus on having a job and being grateful for it while finding ways to improve your situation. I think this example says a lot about what I am actually trying to tell you.

Don’t let those bad thoughts invite more negativity into your life. Just try to find that positive event, that person that is making your life great or better – be the person that’s making your life great! You can achieve this by being grateful for what you have, seeing the negativity in your life and working on ways to make it better, turn it into something positive.

We are all battling our demons on a daily basis and we all have our reasons to do the things we do but without recognizing the good in our lives, we are letting those demons get the best of us.