Poem #307

Curtains up, the crowd gathered
around the stage to see another life
getting wasted away. They’ll just nod
their heads, saying that it’s too bad.

They’ll be saying that the whole plot is
sad, maybe they’ll even feel something
around their heart but in the end they’ll
do what they always do. They’ll leave.

I’m just this puppet on a string, hopelessly
believing that one day someone will grab the
scissors and cut the strings. Hopelessly believing
someone will save me from this hell I’m living in.

Show after show, lie after lie, tear after
tear – something broke in my heart.
All hope vanished from my life, my brain
took control, and my heart is only pumping blood.

I’m lying next to my broken guitar shined by
the moonlight that built something inside of me.
Was it good or was it bad – I’ll never now. I just
now nothing’s ever going to be alright.

Suddenly I wanted to feel the ground under
my feet and not always the string that’s tying them up.
I wanted to walk on my own and stop the people
who manipulate me but never help me.

Suddenly a gray tone appeared in my eyes
and it changed my perspective of life. The
moon whispered a melody into my ear every time
it appeared in its full shine.

I’m hearing the strings of my old guitar, I’m
breaking the strings that are tying me up. I killed
the puppet master, I regained control. This
puppet show is done, it’s time for my solo performance now.

Poem #306

Damn, I did it again. My heart was
in a shell and my brain was crumbling
under the fear. Something told me that the
line is the last place where I want to put my heart.

You were so sweet, you were so perfect but you
couldn’t understand what disappointment does to people.

It makes us look at love like a game and we refuse to
risk anything even at the cost of gaining everything
because we can’t go down that road again.

The strongest hearts have been through so much and
they shut themselves out because they know
they won’t be able to go another round. We’re not strong,
we’re closed; we’re not fearless, we’re weak.

Just keep on telling me how much you love me,
it’s so sweet to hear those words but if you want
something in return you’re in the wrong place.

It’s not that I don’t love you, it’s not that I don’t
need you, but I just can’t put myself out there.
I can’t give you control, I can’t let you know
that you can crush my world by walking out that door.

A safe ground is what I need, a safe ground underneath
my feet. You can’t give it to me because my heart is
refusing to believe that love can exist unconditionally.

You’re worth it all but I’m just not ready to fall because
I don’t know how to wait for someone to catch me. I only
know how to land myself on my feet.

You’re everything I hoped for and it pains me to let
you go because I don’t know how to let go. The truth is
that a safe ground is what I need, a safe ground underneath
my feet and I always find it in solitude, never with you.

Damn, I did it again. I locked my feelings in my mind
in order to protect my heart. It wasn’t your fault, it’s
the way I am. I hope you can forgive me, I hope
I didn’t cause you much pain.

Poem #304

Standing right there with the same
old smile that swept me of my feet, that
holds the means to make me weak. What’s
going on, honey? Will you give me a reason to
write a new line tonight?

Standing right there with the same
eyes in which I got lost a while back.
My biggest inspiration, in the same room with me.
I feel like the ground is shaking underneath my feet.

Heart beating crazy, like never before. My legs
are paralyzed, I lost all control. In a moment of doubt
my eyes look down, like it’s my fault what happened to us.

A second has gone by since out eyes met, but it
feels like a lifetime ago. The music pierces my ears
again; reality pulled me down to the ground. We’re in
the same club, but miles apart.

You’re in her shadow now, is it cold there? Do you
need an old love to jump from the past and
keep you warm again? Because if you want, I’ll step
on my pride again and for a brief moment we’ll hide
behind her back.

My inspiration standing a few steps away. What will
happen now? Will you make another memory that
will crawl in between my verses tonight?

It’s your call now. Honey, what will it be? Will you
walk up to me or turn your head to her. Either
way, I’ll be losing sleep over you.

Poem #303

What makes you so special to make me
want to write about you all the time?
What makes me so naive to think
you will ever care about these poems?

These are just my words and you already
turned down my heart I was so willing to give.

Poem #302

I’m reaching for you but you’re slipping
from my hands. I’m holding on to you
but like I’m holding on to air. This abrupt
halt we’ve reached has put an end to
everything. The fight we lead is going
nowhere fast.

We’re still not giving up because we can’t break
the habit of having each other around. Is it
the fear of loneliness or change that’s stopping
us both from realizing we’re on the wrong track?

Are we able to unclench our fists and put ourselves
out there or will we keep leading the life we have?
It’s hard to admit goodbye is near but this downward
spiral will eventually leave us as enemies. You know
we need to give up this Sisyphus job before we end
up turning our heads away from each other.

Just let go, walk out the door before the sun comes up.
Don’t wake me up because I don’t want to hear the
doors shut. I’ll understand, I’ll regret but at least
we won’t be living a lie that is this, let’s call it love, we have.

It’s not the same, there’s no thrill. It’s not the same between
you and me. It’s not the same, no sparks flying in the air.
It’s not the same when love becomes an excuse not to
sleep in an empty bed.

Admit that our love is a Sisyphus work and just go, don’t
think just walk. I’ll hold this rock before it runs over both
of us and turns us into dust. Just go but remember us for
what we used to be and not for what we’ve become.

Poem #305

We’re just impersonating some deep
confusion we hold inside. We’re
writing just to let something out but it’s
stuck in our hearts and in our minds. It
forces us to pick the pen up.

Absorbing our surroundings and
observing everyone around while we
keep on living in the world we created for us.
We live inside our own minds, we ride on
our train of thoughts and we never stop.

Middle of the night, drunk on life we
turn the light on just to write down a line.
Our hand is mostly manipulated by the
alter ego that’s taking over us. If you look
closely you’ll see it in our eyes.

Sometimes we seem insane, but that’s not
even close to the truth. We’re just strong and
weak enough to write down everything you all
hide inside. We state our minds on a blank page
hoping that words will make a difference.

We’re a paradox to our own words and, most of the
time, when we read what we write even we don’t know
what did the poet want to say with each line.

Poem #301

This date makes me feel Sunday rainy
morning – lay under the blankets alone
kind of sad. Where you know everything is
alright but you feel a void pulsating in your
body and you still feel the only touch you want
covering your skin in the sweetest sin.

My legs still tremble at the thought of him
as I bit my lip not to pronounce his name.
There’s a part of my closet I never open because
I still have his stuff there and I know that part
holds the dearest smell which could pull me back
to the past and captivate me there.

I really hate this date. I still hear the car tires,
the crowd of the station, remember the bus platform
where the ride to separation took you away
from me. I really hate this date. It’s like a constant
reminder of what it feels like to lose what you love.

You found me with my flaws and fears and weaknesses.
You took them all away and were the only weakness left
even though life snatched you out of my reach. I don’t know
if we should have tried or was this the best thing for us. I
don’t know will this darkness stop creeping up from the inside.

I don’t know a lot but I do know I still hate this date. It’s
like an hourglass still counting the days I need to forget you.
It’s a violent reminder that I don’t have you. It’s everything
I can’t live with and more. This date was the date my body last felt
alive and my soul thought there was still a chance.

I hate this date because it brings out the worst in me. Makes me
hide in my own loneliness thinking why was I cursed to fall in the
depths of those brown eyes, why was I cursed to hate this date and the
miles which held us apart.