Coffee Date

Coffee Date: Justifying rape culture makes you an accomplice

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Can you guess by the title that I am very triggered? You know me so well! 

*Just a comment before you begin reading: The topic discussed here might be extremely triggering to victims of sexual assault*

So, let me give you some insight into what actually happened. So a Serbian youtuber and a poor excuse for a human being came on to a TV show hosted by two women and tried to justify rape and victim blame women that are sexually assaulted. For you who know that I am Croatian and the history Croatia and Serbia have I would just like to emphasize that this is my opinion about that asshole of a man and his nationality did not influence my opinion at all. I am not a nationalist and I also plan to shit all over Croatian people who commented on this news and said they support his opinions. You are all on my agenda today.  

The neanderthal literally said that if a woman walks through a street and ends up getting raped that it’s her fault for walking there at that time in the first place. He literally said that men view women only as sexual objects. He also puts the blame on women’s outfits, as do all current and future rapists, he said that women should always tell a man that he is right and that if a woman comes to the apartment of a man she is obligated to have sex with him and that if she says no, the consequences of her “no” are on her. He also defines women as the weaker sex and he constantly has this message where women as the weaker sex should watch out and be careful not to provoke men or make them horny. Women know that sometimes we don’t do anything and men get horny and I don’t judge people for getting horny, we are all sexual beings, but it’s up to you to control your own fucking urges. Women also get horny when they see someone they find attractive and all of that is human but people are not animals, this is (no matter how hard to believe) a civilized society sweetie so keep it in your pants. 

So let’s start with this “if you get inside his apartment, it’s your fault” bullshit. I do not think that anyone should get inside the apartment of someone they do not trust completely. Even when you trust someone, you never know what their intentions are. From a young age, and now check this out, BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS should be taught not to talk to stranger no matter how old they are and to not sit in someone’s car or enter the apartment of a person they do not know. This does not only apply to women, it applies to men as well. Even though the cases of men being raped are often not reported, they do happen. And also, both young girls and boys can be sexually assaulted. So this goes for all. When someone says no then it’s no and if a person ignores that no and rapes somebody they should be convicted because they committed the crime and the victim does not carry the blame. Stop fucking victim blaming.  

Now, my favorite part of his victim blaming – our clothes, where we go, at what time we go somewhere and all of that bullshit current and future rapists use to justify their crime. I absolutely believe that this man is capable of raping women and that he might have done it before.  

I am going to do something you might not expect. I am going to defend men. Not Nixa or people who support his opinions but men. Real men, not future predators and criminals. Rape is sexual assault and it’s a form of violence an what is violence – a threat to modern, civilized society. This idiot tried to portray men as some animals who have no control over their basic urges and by doing that he described men in general as a threat to civilized society. I don’t understand men who want to be viewed as such. Why do you want to be portrayed as someone who should be put under control, in some institution in order not to hurt people? What do you gain from this? 

I refuse to believe this about men because first of all, I have a wonderful boyfriend and I have wonderful male friends who I know do not share the opinions of this neanderthal. There are men who understand that no means no and that they are not entitled to a woman’s body just because they find her attractive. Period. 

All of this victim blaming and telling women they are the weaker sex and that we should be submissive to men and that we are at fault it we are raped for me sounds like the last, desperate scream of a primitive man in a society that no longer values his physical strength. I don’t know if anyone told you but being physically stronger that a female does not mean shit today. We live in a modern, digitalized world where we place value on human intelligence, ability to use and develop new technology etc. This has been going on since the first industrial revolution and we live at a time in which we can confidently say that in a few decades, machines will replace us when it comes to physical labor. What do you stand to gain by being “the stronger sex”? Nothing. So men who put the emphasize on this, who are walking around pretending like they are above women and even men who are weaker than them are actually… very sad. No matter how triggered I was by his opinion, I pity him. This is a man who is deep down insecure because he does not bring much to the table so he is trying to maintain this feeling of relevancy and power by putting women and others down. This is a man who went and had surgery to prolong his legs and then lied about being in a car crash to justify the recovery period. Do I need to say anything else?  

If we even dig that deep to talk about classes and who has the power and who is “the weaker sex” in our society, we will notice that the weaker sex is not actually a sex but a financial status. Money is power in our society. It’s sad to say that, but it is the truth.  

Moving on to the comment section. One of Croatian’s news outlet picked up on the story and I put myself through the hell of reading the comment section. The comments can be liked and you see the like to dislike ration of the comments. 90% of them were in support of this man and his opinions and a lot of those comments had more likes than dislikes and I am fucking scared and ashamed of the society I live in. In the wake of a young child being brutally murdered and everyone constantly screaming that violence is on the rise in Croatia, especially in the pandemic because people were forced to be inside, we are this stupid and this ignorant to justify violence and victim blame. Pathetic. To everyone who thinks that there is a shred of truth in what this neanderthal said, I would just like to let you know that you are just as big of a problem as the rapists and criminals who commit violence against other people. Your mindset, your opinion, your support of violent criminals leads to more violence. I honestly hope that people won’t have to learn from their own experience that violence is never justifiable.  

I am revolted by all of this. 

I am out.  

Latest Poem: Poem #362
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Manipulating the Public Attention
Latest #savingme: Give Women Their Rage Back
Life updates: Some News Hit Home


Some News Hit Home

Guys, let’s just have a little talk. 

I did something I usually refuse to do. I watched the news. Actually, I watched and followed just one news.  

A little 2 years old girl was brutally beaten and killed by her mother. Her mother managed to crush the child’s skull with her bare hands. The girl was 2 years old.  

The family was already known to social services, they GAVE UP the child after she was born and social services gave her to a family that actually loved and took care of her. Upon the request of the biological parents, the girl was returned to her biological family. A family that had a history of violence and to a biological father who was already charged for domestic abuse. 5 months later the little girl was taken to the hospital in Zagreb with a crushed skull and covered in bruises. The beating wasn’t a one-time thing. The child was consistently beaten for 5 months and social services DID NOTHING!  

The case hit the news and from then the whole country was talking only about the child that was losing her life in the hospital. The doctors, often in tears, explained that this was the first time in their life they have witnessed such injuries and from the start we all knew that she was not going to make it. She died in the hospital. 

I wish this was the first time Croatia was struck by such an event, but no. A child suffocated and thrown into the sea by his mother in 2017, 4 kids thrown off a balcony by their father in 2019. All of these families were under the care of social services. My family was also under the care of social services due to domestic abuse. I know what it’s like when the system fails you over and over again and it breaks my heart to listen to all of these politicians and social service representatives who are just twisting the narrative. #croatiafullofshit

One day there were indications that the child was beaten, the next day they claim there was no sign of abuse. It is taking them more than 6 days to start spitting out names of those from the system responsible for this tragedy. The grandma of the child went on television and said that she went to social services and told them that the girl was being abused. They did not react, they did not take the child from that family and now they have the audacity to lie to the public and claim that there was no signs of abuse. I am appalled and disgusted by my own country. It’s not that its just taking them some time to gather the evidence – they are burying them.  

I know that corrupt system inside and out, I’ve heard promises of change and I have been through enough shit to know it’s never going to happen. These few days, watching the news about that poor child were triggering to the core because I can hear their rhetoric of lying, covering up, deflecting, talking a lot without saying much. A life was lost, it’s not the first one. How many more little graves are we going to have to dig up before we admit that domestic abuse is a systemic problem in this country and that we have institutions that are not doing their job as they should?  

They are trying to come out with numbers that they are understaffed, that this was an “isolated incident” and that these things are bound to happen sometimes. I can to an extent agree with them regarding them being understaffed, but I want to see people held responsible, I want justice, I want a public trial, I want to feel for the first time that there’s justice for the abused in this country.  

This is why I’ve been off the grid for a while. I was just processing this, many of you saw I did a lot of writing in Croatian on my IG today but I just had to take it off my chest. I honestly believe that all victims of this corrupt system in Croatia need to speak up to finally make everyone realize that none of these are isolated incidents. We have to speak up for those who will never get to say their side of the story.  

I hope that this little girl is in peace now and I hope we will not fail her as a society and let these people get away with it.  

Sending love and positive vibes, 

Latest Poem: Poem #362
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Manipulating the Public Attention
Latest #savingme: Give Women Their Rage Back
Life updates: Come have a cup of Coffee with me

The Poetry Bar

#savingme: Beauty from Ashes

Guest post:

There was an organization… I was told I could help people… A man I’d talked to linked me up with my trafficker. The exact words this man used to my trafficker were, “I found a young girl for you”. I was 19. My trafficker was considerably older. I don’t know if there was an exchange of money or anything of value between these two men. So, I guess I’ll never know if it was trafficking from the beginning. But it was made clear sex was wanted… dumb right? Not that it was sex… it was rape. I thought my trafficker loved me… I thought we were destined… I thought we were going to help people. There were threats… of death… of being cast out onto the streets cold and hungry if I didn’t listen…. threats to my family. We moved in together after just a short time. The first time my trafficker sold me to someone else I was 19. I was pregnant. He sold me for drugs. I came home and he told me to put on a dress I had. He told me to go see this guy in the hotel room a few rooms down. By that time I was so scared to say no to anything for fear of abuse and now I was scared for my unborn child. I wasn’t far along so you couldn’t tell, but it meant the guy didn’t use protection… not that any of them ever did anyway… when I got back my trafficker wanted his turn… 3 times.. I just wanted a shower… I was told women aren’t allowed to say no. I was a sex slave and he was my “master”. I was with my trafficker for 10 years.. that was just the first time.



#savingme is the community where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not.


#savingme: Give Women Their RAGE Back!

Throughout my existence on this platform, I have often put up post such as “leave something positive that happened to you so we can share some good vibes”. I put up many posts like this in 2020 because this year was the year we all needed to remind ourselves of things we are grateful for because all of us have struggled with our own demons and problems in this pandemic. So I had to write this down because I didn’t want you to think I have anything against positivity and looking for reasons to smile. With that being said, let’s get into what I really wanted to discuss here.

I don’t post a lot on #savingme because it gets hard. I no longer live in domestic violence, but talking about it, opening some wounds is still painful and the fact that my brain just decided not to remember a lot of my childhood to protect me (I guess) doesn’t make this easier. I think I have repressed memory, but I am not doctor. Maybe my memory just sucks but I believe that my brain is trying to protect me from those hurtful memories.

Now, let me ask you a question. Why do you expect women to be happy and smiling all the fucking time?!

I am not attacking you directly because I don’t know you but if you ever used the phrase “You are so much prettier when you smile, you should smile more often etc.” I am kind of attacking you. If you ever placed a woman in a situation where she was forced or bullied into smiling and pretending everything is okay, I am kind of attacking you. To try to explain this better to the male audience that might not understand this so much – forcing women to be composed, happy and pretend like everything is perfect all the time is equal to the idea of the “masculine man” being imposed on men where you are expected to be a stereotypical man who should know how to do stuff, lift things, not have feelings or cry ever. You know what I am talking about “the manly man”. Since I am not a man and do not have experience with this, I would like to point out a poem that sums this up nicely: Guante – “Ten Responses to the Phrase ‘Man Up'”

Why am I writing about this and linking it to domestic violence and abuse? Let me explain that. Women, and I have seen this on my mother, feel the shame when they go through domestic violence. What will the people say if I call the cops? I am a bad mother because this man is beating my kids. It falls upon me to carry the burden of this domestic violence/abuse without realizing I am the victim. The same thing happens with rape. The victim is shamed into silence and the “women have to be happy” feeds into this fucking problem.

We are expected to play a part in the world and a great part of that role is covering shit up and being happy all the time, giving out this impression of having our life together, having the perfect family, being good cooks, caring for kids and expected to want to be mothers, if I might add (I could write a whole new post about this topic). When we get angry, when we voice our discomfort or just our opinion that doesn’t sit right with other people then we are PMS-ing. “It’s that time of the month”. “Our hormones are doing the talking”. “We will calm down once our period is done”. Stop bullying women into thinking they are crazy when they are unhappy! Stop bullying women into not seeking help when they are abused.

When shit hits the fan, when the cops are on the doorstep, when women walk around with a black eye, when someone is DEAD, when a woman kills herself because she was raped, then we hear the phrase: “We didn’t even suspect something was wrong, she always seemed so happy”. How many times have you heard this from someone or on TV? How many fucking times have you heard this phrase or a variation of this phrase? Why do we need to have women mentally and physically scarred for life or a dead body to realize that there’s something wrong?

When a woman says no, when she pushes you away, when she tells you to stop, when she calls the cops on you and accuses you of abuse, she is not making stuff up and being crazy. She is uncomfortable and scared and this is not the time for women to think they should go easy, not raise their voice or say NO with an uncomfortable, fake smile. You have the right to get angry when someone is invading your personal space and abusing you. You have the right to fight back and seek help. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

This is why I say GIVE WOMEN THEIR RAGE BACK. Give us our anger back and watch us evolve even if it scares some. Just that freedom of being able to experience emotions that society tried to tell us we are not entitled to, will give us also the freedom to speak up about abuse and to fight the oppression.

For anyone dismissing all of this TRUTH that I just wrote as a “feminist rant that makes no sense” and if anyone envisioned me as a man-hating, no-shaving angry female that is fighting a fight that doesn’t exist anymore because “we gave women rights” let me just tell you that 1992. was called the year of the women the same way that 2018. was called the year of the women and despite all of this we are still fighting the same bullshit, the same sexual harassment, women are still fighting harder than men to get into high positions and the same people are still trying to silence us and bully us into submission. Google your facts before you call women angry feminists and trust me that we will write, yell, protest and fight as long as we have to until every woman and every little girl stops being silent about oppression and abuse because “that was the way it has always been and if you speak up, we will shame you into believing it was your fault. now SMILEEEEEE”.

This is not to say that women are never the abusers, but I can only speak from my perspective. I know there are men and boys abused by their mother and/or father or any other person who are scared to speak up because of the “manly man stereotype” or because they go through the same fear and shame mentioned before. I think that abused men and boys are an issue society has to dive into thoroughly  because we cannot pretend that it is not happening and telling men to “Man up”. There are stories to be heard from their side and I hope they will speak up as well.  If you want to share your experience you can on this platform and you can stay anonymous if it makes you feel safer and better.


#savingme is the community where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not.

Latest Poem: Poem #345
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 


Why Do I Shout About Gender-based Violence

Why do I shout about gender-based violence? Frankly, the answer is simple… Because I have been silent for too long! Yes, it is my time to speak up and speak out. Why? Because abuse does not go away if we ignore it. Much like the rest of society, I conditioned myself to partly ignore abuse. I did not want to, but I felt that speaking out was too risky. Why? Because it is likely that:

  1. People will not believe you.
  2. People will judge you.
  3. People will feel sorry for you.
  4. People will side with your abuser.

In other words… It is painful. It is painful to share personal pain publicly. It is like rubbing salt into a wound. But covering that wound with a band aid, does not make it go away. The wound needs exposure to heal, and when the scar emerges, it is not ugly. The scar tells a beautiful story of survival. Perhaps I sound a little abstract right now. Let me break it down…

At the age of 19, I entered an abusive relationship. He did not trust me, he accused me of things I did not do, he cheated on me, he lied to me, he badmouthed me to others, he recruited his friends and family to terrorize me telephonically, he called me vulgar names, he got physical with me a few times, and he even tried to strangle me once. He tried to use me financially. He wrote off my car, almost killing me and other passengers, whilst speeding and driving drunk in wet conditions at night. I left the relationship many times but kept going back over a period of 8 years! I went on to date other men but kept returning to him. I was trauma bonded to him and I did not know it.

What was the result of this relationship? I withdrew into a shell, became depressed and lost my confidence. Without realizing, I became a people-pleaser and essentially a doormat for everyone to use. After leaving him for the final time, it took me 7 years to recover from the abuse; to slowly rebuild myself. It took a lot of hard work, and grace from God, but I eventually liberated myself, and regained my confidence and joy. I thought I knew everything about abuse from this experience at a young age. I was convinced that it could never happen to me again because I would know better. But then…

At the age of 34, I entered a second abusive relationship. Yes, 34! I was not an inexperienced, naïve teen anymore. I was a full-grown, strong, independent, confidant, mature woman when this happened to me. And this time it was far worse! This abuse was not overt at all, so I did not recognize it and I did not see it coming. It was narcissistic abuse. This man insulted me, criticized me, judged me, belittled me, lied to me, objectified me and played manipulative mind games with me. He tried to control me and change my identity (personality, appearance, diet, political views and religious beliefs). He also tried to get money from me. He ripped my self-esteem to shreds. I only realized what was happening when the abuse changed from covert to overt. When I fell pregnant, his mask dropped. He began to harass me and stalk me because he wanted me to have to an abortion. When I refused to have an abortion, he went on to drug me without my knowledge, to kill our unborn baby.

What was the outcome of this relationship? My unborn baby was killed against my will, and my life was endangered in the process. I was living abroad at the time and had to flee the country for safety away from him. This meant leaving my home, friends, church and job. My entire life crashed to pieces, and I ended up with Complex-PTSD due to the abuse, trauma and grief that I experienced at the hands of this psychopathic man.

So how did I end up in a second abusive relationship? The answer is simple…. Lack of education! So yes, this is why I now shout about women abuse. I am not silent anymore because my story is education for women around the world. It is validation for them, and inspiration for them to also to speak up and speak out. I want to join my voice to the others who are making a difference today to bring about awareness.

After the first abusive relationship, I only understood what I had experienced. I did not have education about abuse. I did not understand what makes a woman a target, I did not understand what makes a man an abuser, I did not understand the patterns abusers follow, I did not understand the different types of abuse, I did not know that women keep falling into abusive relationships until they resolve wounds within their inner child, I did not know how to avoid being a target again, I did not know how to fully heal properly. All I ever had as a resource back then was The Oprah Winfrey Show, which helped me to a certain point at the time.

Now after the second abuse, my eyes have been opened to a whole new world of what I did not previously know about abuse. With the Internet, Facebook and YouTube now, I have had access to educational resources from multiple psychologists and survivors. I am convinced that if I had this education back then I would not have ended up in a second worse situation. In recent years, survivors have bravely come forward to tell their stories publicly about narcissistic abuse. The Internet is now flooded with resources to educate women (and men) about narcissistic abuse.

I wish I had the knowledge back then about narcissism, sociopathy and psychopathy. I wish I knew more about abusers’ motives for power and control. I wish I had heard of the terms like love bombing, idealization, devaluation, intermittent reinforcement, coerced reproduction, blame shifting, projection, discarding, gaslighting, triangulation, smear campaign, flying monkeys, bait and switch, trance induction, trauma bonding, Stockholm Syndrome, cognitive dissonance, hoovering, narcissistic supply, impression management, masking, pathological lying, narcissistic injury, narcissistic rage, dissociation, PTSD and so on. I wish I had heard of all the various healing therapies available. I wish I knew of all the subdivisions of abuse. It is not simply verbal, physical and sexual. There is spiritual, financial and psychological abuse too. I used to think that rape was about uncontrollable sexual desires. Can you believe I only learnt last year that rape is actually about power and control? Was I living under a rock all these years?

How is it that we, as women, are not educated about these things in high school? Why do women only learn about these things ‘post-abuse?’ Why do we only get help when it is too late? Why do we have to endure abuse a second time (or more) before we find information to help us?

Reader, please, I urge you… Please read up on these terms which I have mentioned. I promise you, it is a rabbit hole worth travelling down. Please teach your children about it. If you are a teacher, please teach your students about it. Please make the general public aware of it. Please use your various social media platforms to drive awareness, as well as any other public platform that you may have.

For lists of helpful resources to get you started, follow these links: 8 Book Suggestions for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse and 10 Online Resources for Survivors of Narcissistic Abuse.

Within my small circle of family, friends, church and colleagues, I encounter dozens of women who have been deeply wounded by abuse in its various forms. I also encounter men who are hurt by narcissistic women. This must stop! We need to stand up against this violation of human rights, and we need to stand up for each other too. Silence is not the answer! We cannot stop the ongoing cycle of abuse by remaining silent. It is time we stopped caring about what people might think or say. It is time we braved our pain and exposed it to the salt that threatens to hurt us. The long-term cleansing that takes place, will be worth the initial sting of the pain.

So why do I shout about women abuse?

  1. It could save someone’s life, or at least save them a lot of trauma and damage. Educate, validate and liberate!
  2. It brings healing. Free your voice, free your pain!

As a final note, I want to say to those women who are still in danger of their abusers… Please be cautious about speaking out. Please consider if the abuser will harm you or your children for speaking out. If that is the case, I would advise that you only speak to trusted authorities for now. When it is safe, you can share your story with the world.

Nisha Devdhat is a South African born writer, using her words to spread love, bring healing and give hope, while educating and traveling the world. Currently, she is based in Asia as an English teacher.
Her writing portfolio includes articles, poetry and book reviews, which focus on the themes of literature, travel, education, abuse and trauma.
Nisha offers her writing skills to the public through her writing service. You could hire her as a freelancer to create content for your business or blog.
Nisha’s educational background is English Language and Literature, Teaching English as a Foreign Language, and Marketing Management.
Writing is Nisha’s way of expressing herself, externalizing emotions and practicing introspection. Writing provides her the opportunity to free her voice, challenge the status quo, and positively impact change in society.

IG: @nisha_devdhat
FB: @myunshackledmindwriter


#savingme is the column where abuse victims can publish their experiences just to let go and find comfort and support. Maybe it doesn’t feel like much but just publishing your story for others to read makes you strong. You can send your story about the abuse you went through to and you can choose if you want it to be anonymous or not. More details here. 

Coffee Date

Coffee Date with Luna: Addicted to the Noise

Hello everyone!

I rose from the dead, here I am actually blogging on my own blog. My last few weeks have been quite interesting and when I say interesting, I mean numbingly painful but I am still working through that bullshit. When I say that I rose from the dead I mean it.

Forgot to say, welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna. Depending on when I actually publish this, might be time for warm milk before bedtime with Luna, but that’s beside the point.

Growing up in domestic violence (what a lovely way to start a blog post), you cannot function in silence or in a lot of noise which is more common for such environment. When there was noise, when we were fighting or my father was chasing us around the house trying to beat us, I heard something and I knew that everyone was alive and conscious if they were speaking. Silence would sometimes be comforting, especially on those rare night when I wouldn’t go to bed listening to my father’s drunk rants about how he’s going to burn the house down while we sleep in it. But there’s this other thing that you start fearing about silence and it’s silence itself. I would often catch myself enjoying some moments of peace and quiet to only then be awaken by the thought that someone is hurt or that my father randomly fell somewhere while he was drunk and broke his neck. Yes people, welcome to my childhood thoughts. Don’t worry, he is still alive and back then he was mostly sleeping on the couch or the floor because he was too drunk to make it to bed.

This fear of silence made me into a person that constantly has to have noises around me. While I was living alone in Zadar, I always had music playing in the background or the TV was on. If I was going to the store, I had my headphones in. I had a playlist for bedtime. Music would be playing while I would get ready in the morning or while I was under the shower. And this routine continued.

Do you know what this does to you? It takes away your time to self-reflect and think about your problems and fears by constantly distracting your brain. I do not know how to be in silence or allow my brain to just process situations. I let everything build up inside of me until I become so emotionally unstable that I get depressed. And you want to know something? YOU ALL FUCKING DO IT AS WELL.

We live in a climate where we are encouraged to constantly be distracted by all types of shit. Our phones are always buzzing with notifications, there’s always someone talking, there’s always a new show to watch, news to keep up with etc. We all suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). We are so caught up in this era of smart devices and constant noises that we forget about the whole world that’s inside each and every one of us.

I finished reading G. Steinem’s book called Revolution from Within. There’s a part where she speaks about people being healed emotionally and physically by coming back to nature. Do you know what nature is? Quiet. When was the last time when I enjoyed spending time in nature? When I was a kid, I used to run around and climb trees because being on a high tree with the fear of falling and breaking something was safer than being inside my house. Ever since I was liberated from domestic abuse, I gravitated towards the city, the noise, the constant distractions. The only thing that changes this for me is the proximity of the sea. I have a very special bond with the sea but I don’t spend much time on the seaside.

What I’ve come to realize lately, as I’ve been spending more time at home with my mom, is that this running away from my childhood and my inner self has produced a very negative side effect. I lost my memory or suppressed it so hard that I cannot remember years and years of my life. If something were to happen to my mother (God forbid), I would lose years of my life because she is literally the only person that can tell me what happened at certain points. I just don’t remember but that’s a problem for another post. I am researching this issue currently.

This is what being addicted to distractions and to noise brought me. I forgot who I was, do not like to think about who I am or what I wish to be. In this world of noises, I think it’s time for me to put the volume down and go back to me, listen to what I have to say and go through the pain and the thoughts and the memories for as long as it takes to process everything.

In a world that doesn’t want us to think, it’s hard to take that step. It’s not a step out of a comfort zone. It’s more like a jump of a cliff but we have to see it as a leap of faith, a return to the natural, to the human, to the raw part of life that was here before the noise and before devices that became smarter than us.

There is catharsis to be found in books, art, music and creation but there’s truth to be found in the world that’s inside of us. We came to the world naked, screaming and without shame. Let’s not leave it hidden, silenced and manipulated.

Sending love and positive vibes,



Coffee Date

Coffee Date with Luna: Why?

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Our theme of today is not a very nice one but it’s a necessary one. I understand that there are many important subjects we could discuss and write about here but I, as a survivor or domestic abuse and a person that knows damn well how the system works, have to speak about this.

Epstein. May he rot in hell for all eternity and may that abomination of a woman that’s in jail now join him after she spills the truth on everyone involved.  Disgusting. It is disgusting that the authorities knew about this while they were abusing and trafficking girls. We all know it’s all true. We all know those girls do not have a reason to lie and that they are just a drop in the ocean of millions of girls whose childhood and teenage years were taken away from them. Why aren’t we talking about the girls who were brainwashed, scared into submission, to the sisters that were IGNORED BY THE FBI WHEN THEY SPOKE UP YEARS BEFORE EPSTEIN HAD A RAPE ISLAND!!!!!

Disgusting. I could insult and rain shit on Epstein and Maxwell but let’s talk about the actual impact this has on women who are victims of any type of assault and abuse, not just sexual.

Why was Epstein able to do what he did?

Why was he conveniently suicided when the eye of the public was on this case?

The two things that run the world and are well connected. This shit went to the top. Why is no one speaking about that carrot looking troll in the White house who is a known misogynist, who insulted women and said “you need to grab them by the pussy” – why is no one looking into his friendship with Epstein? Why is prince andrew still free? Why are we letting this happen in front of our eyes.

A victim has come forward and accused prince andrew and he is out while she is still fighting for justice.  Even if there’s a crown on your head or a title in front of your name, you will be held accountable. I think it’s just deplorable how the British press had more to say about Markle, how they harassed her while there’s an alleged pedophile in the “royal” family. We can also talk about how the “royal” family is not saying anything about this, but I do not have the whole day. All I will say that as long as the powerful protect the powerful, the rest of us are a long way from justice.

And this is what scares the shit out of me. This case went up to the top. Not only were judges, FBI and lawyers looking at this, the world was keeping up with this case. The world was looking at this and everyone involved is telling women all across the world that they need to shut up when they are assaulted because no one is doing shit about it.

We are literally looking at money buying a way out for pedophiles so why should women anywhere be encouraged to speak out not only on Epstein but on other men? I know what fear is and I know what it means to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE in a system designed to fail the victims and this is not an exaggeration. Why don’t we understand that women speaking out on assault and looking for protection are actually trying to save their life? Why do we need a dead woman, bodies piling up to realize that the fight against abuse is a fight for life?

True story now. I was a minor when I testified against my father and I mean, I was a minor! I have memories of my childhood very suppressed but I was somewhere between 10-12 years old. A psychiatrist who worked with my father stated that he is a man capable of killing. A trained specialist in his field described my father as a potential murderer. The police ignored us for years, there was actually a plot to get my sister and me away from my mom and we fought through everything, we got our day in court. Do you know what happened when 10-12 years old me stepped out of the judge’s room where I testified? My father was sitting there. The system that finally said “We are here to protect you before he kills you” let my severely violent father know that his underaged child was giving a testimony which will help to put him in prison. The fear I felt that day in something that cannot be described in words. For years I lived in fear of him escaping and killing the three of us. And just for the record, he did escape a few times from the facility where they held him after he got out of jail.

So these aggressions against women in the Epstein case by the system happen on a daily basis as well and why should women feel encouraged to step out or believe they have the right to protection if we are looking at pedophiles and rapists walking around freely while there are evidence and allegations against them?

I know that his coffee date has been a lot of WHY? But I believe you got my message. I am just here being 24 years old and still fighting my traumas, looking at this case and asking myself

When is this going to stop?

When are women going to have rights in reality, not just paper?

When will humanity be more important than money?

When will there be justice?

How many more victims are there?

How many more will there be?

My life

Saturday talks

Hello everyone, hope you are having a great Saturday!

Since the last rant things have remained the same with this clogged ear of mine, I am still deaf but I am happy because yesterday I came home. I am finally in my apartment and in my room and I’ve missed it soooooo much.

And I’ve missed my mom’s cooking. I’ve had a bit too much food today and I always do this when I come home to my mom after a long period of time. I am a lousy cook and also I do not like to cook so coming home to her is a blessing when it comes to food.

I have been having some issues with my diet lately and I have been thinking about transitioning to a Mediterranean diet. It wouldn’t be so hard for me because it bases on fruits and veggies which I already eat an abundance off.

What else is neeeeew? Oh yeah, we are soon reaching 6k subscribes on this blog and I never thought this will happen. Like, we are closer to 10k than to 1k which we had a few months ago. I love how fast our little community is growing – not so little anymore to be honest!

This whole blog was a real step out of my comfort zone, especially since I made the vacation vlog and published it on Youtube. It’s the small things that count, you know. I am actually trying to come up with some video ideas when I already opened a Youtube channel.

I have been writing a new Coffee Date with Luna for the last week and a half. It’s just some of my thoughts about that disgusting piece of shit Epstein. As you can see, I hate him and I am sorry that he was killed before her could pay for what he has done and before he could open that filthy mouth on everyone else who was involved. Yes, this post escalated quickly and yes I do believe that he was killed. That wasn’t a suicide. Period.

The reason why it’s taking me so long to upload and finish that Coffee Date is because I have so much rage I have to censor and the post is right now 6 pages long and it’s too much. I am just all over the place when it comes to this topic.

As you can see, ranting too much in my posts is kind of my thing. The only thing short about me is my height and my poetry. I was actually thinking of posting shorter, concise posts here and maybe making videos on Patreon for those who want to listen to me talk.  BTW, if you would be interested in this, let me know in the comments.

And I also have to come up with Youtube video ideas. If you have suggestions, use the comment section to let me know. I am also working on a poem. I am being very productive when it comes to my content creating and it makes me happy.

I am going to stop talking now and hit the shower. It is uncomfortably hot in Croatia. The type of hot when you are just doing nothing and you can feel sweat running down your back. That type of uncomfortably hot.

I am really gone now.

Sending love and positive vibes,


Guest Post Information

This blog is expanding really fast, new followers are coming on board every single day and I’m thrilled! Our little community is not that little anymore!

Since new bloggers who join us have questions about guest posts and don’t feel like digging through the blog to find all of the previous posts here are the two ways you can guest post on Luna. I will probably repeat this post after every 200-400 new followers just to keep everyone up to speed.

So our beloved POETRY BAR – here you send your poetry works to together with a few words about yourself and a link to your blog and an Instagram account if you have one since The Poetry Bar does and we post your works there also. Check it out here:

Our second guest post category is #savingme project – here you can share your stories about any type of abuse you’ve experienced. The email is The project was made to let abuse victims know they are not alone. If you don’t want to share your whole story, you can share how you got out, some advice to people going through this hell currently. It’s a safe place and your story can be published completely anonymously. Also, you can see that I post about my own experience with domestic abuse and not only my story but my thoughts, mechanisms that helped me overcome it etc.

Can’t wait to see what you send!

Sending love and positive vibes,


Guest Post information

This blog is expanding really fast, new followers are coming on board every single day and I’m thrilled! Our little community is not that little anymore! I went back to posting much more of my work to the blog because I had this period where I personally didn’t post that much and now it’s time for your lovely submissions to come in!

Since new bloggers who join us have questions about guest posts and don’t feel like digging through the blog to find all of the previous posts here are the three ways you can guest post on Luna. I will probably repeat this post after every 200-400 new followers just to keep everyone up to speed.

So our beloved POETRY BAR – here you send your poetry works to together with a few words about yourself and a link to your blog and an Instagram account if you have one since The Poetry Bar does and we post your works there also. Check it out here:

Our second guest post category is #savingme project – here you can share your stories about any type of abuse you’ve experienced. The email is The project was made to let abuse victims know they are not alone. If you don’t want to share your whole story, you can share how you got out, some advice to people going through this hell currently. It’s a safe place and your story can be published completely anonymously. Also, you can see that I post about my own experience with domestic abuse and not only my story but my thoughts, mechanisms that helped me overcome it etc.

Can’t wait to see what you send!

Sending love and positive vibes,