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Coffee Date: Justifying rape culture makes you an accomplice

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Can you guess by the title that I am very triggered? You know me so well! 

*Just a comment before you begin reading: The topic discussed here might be extremely triggering to victims of sexual assault*

So, let me give you some insight into what actually happened. So a Serbian youtuber and a poor excuse for a human being came on to a TV show hosted by two women and tried to justify rape and victim blame women that are sexually assaulted. For you who know that I am Croatian and the history Croatia and Serbia have I would just like to emphasize that this is my opinion about that asshole of a man and his nationality did not influence my opinion at all. I am not a nationalist and I also plan to shit all over Croatian people who commented on this news and said they support his opinions. You are all on my agenda today.  

The neanderthal literally said that if a woman walks through a street and ends up getting raped that it’s her fault for walking there at that time in the first place. He literally said that men view women only as sexual objects. He also puts the blame on women’s outfits, as do all current and future rapists, he said that women should always tell a man that he is right and that if a woman comes to the apartment of a man she is obligated to have sex with him and that if she says no, the consequences of her “no” are on her. He also defines women as the weaker sex and he constantly has this message where women as the weaker sex should watch out and be careful not to provoke men or make them horny. Women know that sometimes we don’t do anything and men get horny and I don’t judge people for getting horny, we are all sexual beings, but it’s up to you to control your own fucking urges. Women also get horny when they see someone they find attractive and all of that is human but people are not animals, this is (no matter how hard to believe) a civilized society sweetie so keep it in your pants. 

So let’s start with this “if you get inside his apartment, it’s your fault” bullshit. I do not think that anyone should get inside the apartment of someone they do not trust completely. Even when you trust someone, you never know what their intentions are. From a young age, and now check this out, BOTH BOYS AND GIRLS should be taught not to talk to stranger no matter how old they are and to not sit in someone’s car or enter the apartment of a person they do not know. This does not only apply to women, it applies to men as well. Even though the cases of men being raped are often not reported, they do happen. And also, both young girls and boys can be sexually assaulted. So this goes for all. When someone says no then it’s no and if a person ignores that no and rapes somebody they should be convicted because they committed the crime and the victim does not carry the blame. Stop fucking victim blaming.  

Now, my favorite part of his victim blaming – our clothes, where we go, at what time we go somewhere and all of that bullshit current and future rapists use to justify their crime. I absolutely believe that this man is capable of raping women and that he might have done it before.  

I am going to do something you might not expect. I am going to defend men. Not Nixa or people who support his opinions but men. Real men, not future predators and criminals. Rape is sexual assault and it’s a form of violence an what is violence – a threat to modern, civilized society. This idiot tried to portray men as some animals who have no control over their basic urges and by doing that he described men in general as a threat to civilized society. I don’t understand men who want to be viewed as such. Why do you want to be portrayed as someone who should be put under control, in some institution in order not to hurt people? What do you gain from this? 

I refuse to believe this about men because first of all, I have a wonderful boyfriend and I have wonderful male friends who I know do not share the opinions of this neanderthal. There are men who understand that no means no and that they are not entitled to a woman’s body just because they find her attractive. Period. 

All of this victim blaming and telling women they are the weaker sex and that we should be submissive to men and that we are at fault it we are raped for me sounds like the last, desperate scream of a primitive man in a society that no longer values his physical strength. I don’t know if anyone told you but being physically stronger that a female does not mean shit today. We live in a modern, digitalized world where we place value on human intelligence, ability to use and develop new technology etc. This has been going on since the first industrial revolution and we live at a time in which we can confidently say that in a few decades, machines will replace us when it comes to physical labor. What do you stand to gain by being “the stronger sex”? Nothing. So men who put the emphasize on this, who are walking around pretending like they are above women and even men who are weaker than them are actually… very sad. No matter how triggered I was by his opinion, I pity him. This is a man who is deep down insecure because he does not bring much to the table so he is trying to maintain this feeling of relevancy and power by putting women and others down. This is a man who went and had surgery to prolong his legs and then lied about being in a car crash to justify the recovery period. Do I need to say anything else?  

If we even dig that deep to talk about classes and who has the power and who is “the weaker sex” in our society, we will notice that the weaker sex is not actually a sex but a financial status. Money is power in our society. It’s sad to say that, but it is the truth.  

Moving on to the comment section. One of Croatian’s news outlet picked up on the story and I put myself through the hell of reading the comment section. The comments can be liked and you see the like to dislike ration of the comments. 90% of them were in support of this man and his opinions and a lot of those comments had more likes than dislikes and I am fucking scared and ashamed of the society I live in. In the wake of a young child being brutally murdered and everyone constantly screaming that violence is on the rise in Croatia, especially in the pandemic because people were forced to be inside, we are this stupid and this ignorant to justify violence and victim blame. Pathetic. To everyone who thinks that there is a shred of truth in what this neanderthal said, I would just like to let you know that you are just as big of a problem as the rapists and criminals who commit violence against other people. Your mindset, your opinion, your support of violent criminals leads to more violence. I honestly hope that people won’t have to learn from their own experience that violence is never justifiable.  

I am revolted by all of this. 

I am out.  

Latest Poem: Poem #362
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Manipulating the Public Attention
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Coffee Date: Manipulating the public attention

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna, let’s start.

Nobody could’ve escaped the news about the Meghan and Harry interview with Oprah. I was not glued to my screen during their weeding and am not some fan of theirs, but I can be objective when it comes to it.

Stop pretending like Meghan is a devil who stole Harry away from his family. A man who does not want to leave, will not leave. He could’ve followed in his father footsteps and let the mother of his child to fend for herself. I said what I said.

We cannot turn a blind eye to the similarities between Princess Diana and Meghan and what they have said about the royal family. I think that the fact that people do not see history repeating itself (especially the UK media vultures) is because we refer to Diana as THE Princess Diana, like a symbol instead of mentioning another role she had in life which is very important here – Harry’s mother.

Harry’s mother was killed by the media and now that same media is crucifying his wife and the mother of his children. The same royal family, the same royal institution that failed to protect his mother, failed to protect his wife as well and discussed the skin tone of his unborn child. Is somebody surprised he left?

I just firstly, wanted to put my opinion out there. I did not watch the whole interview, just some very important parts where they discuss Meghan’s mental health and racism. I am not saying I completely believe Meghan and Harry because there are two sides to every story but if I had to take a side, I would take their side rather than the side of a deeply flawed institution that is the royal family.

Making Meghan the devil, tearing every aspect of her existence apart and claiming that this has been the most upsetting event ever for the royal family is revolting. All of this is a convenient, little story to divert the media and the public eye away from the fact that the royal family is hiding an alleged pedophile who was tied to Epstein. I already spoke about this situation in Coffee Date with Luna: Why? so you can check that out.

That should have been the event that shook the monarchy to their core, but instead they and the media found a scapegoat so that the public would not speak of the alleged crimes committed by a member of the royal family and that scapegoat just turns out to be a mixed-race woman. I, as someone who is white, am not going to discuss the racial aspects of this because there are far better people to speak about this, but we cannot pretend those aspects are not there.

Many have tried to make Meghan and Harry feel guilty about this interview because it aired at a time Prince Philip was (and still is as of the publishing of this) in a bad health condition. I of course feel sorry for him, but if this interview impacted him and the Queen so much then what the fuck happened when they found out their son was in bed with a criminal, pedophile and a person involved in a human trafficking. Why didn’t the media speak about that? Why didn’t the royal institution investigate the claims or just forced him to testify and held him accountable? Oh yes, because andrew is a white, rich person with a penis born into a royal family. He ticks the “I am privileged” box with some added boxes for more protection against the consequences of his own actions.

Media is all around us and it’s easy to be fixated on the Meghan and Harry topic while forgetting about the andrew scandal because the media is not speaking about him as much as they should. More attention is being drawn to an interview than to a member of the royal family allegedly committing a deplorable crime.

That’s my two cents on this. I am not very invested in the life of the royal family or that of Meghan and Harry but when I have an opinion, you are going to hear it.

Let me know down in the comments what you think of the situation and let me know if you have some topics you would like to discuss in the next Coffee Date!

Sending love and positive vibes
Luna

Latest Poem: Poem #357
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Latest Coffee Date: Is it all over in your twenties?
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Coffee Date: Is it all over in your twenties?

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna, let’s start.

In many of my previous posts in which I discuss some struggles I’ve been having, I noticed that I often mention my age, the concept of getting older, adulthood etc. I honestly thought that this fear of getting older was something that the patriarchy installed in me as a woman but it was much more than that.

Just to put it out there, I am 24 and paranoid about it.

You want to know why?

Because the world is constantly trying to tell me that my life will start to end around the age of 25. Let me explain!

My surrounding is very traditional when it comes to those “steps” you have to take in life – grow up, school, job, marriage, kids, die. There is this norm that’s imposed on 20-something people when they start getting closer to 30 than they are to 20 and this norm makes the future look like a fucking cage. At least to me.

It’s like you can make decisions, navigate your life freely, pick a career, do what you love and then you become 25+ and that choice is gone. What was done was done, what you studied you studied, you better have a good job and a roof over your head because it’s time to “settle down”. EXCUSE ME?

NO.

For the love of actual God, stop expecting people to fit in with your standards and your rules of what their life should be. Tradition is a thing of the past. We live in a world that is constantly changing and expecting for a 20-something or even a 30 year old to just have her/his life figured out is insane.

I am going to speak from my own perspective. Had I not quit grad school, I would have graduated last year which means that I would be unemployed in the middle of a pandemic. Luckily, I quit, got a job, got a promotion and I am still trying to navigate working on a position that wasn’t really what I went to university for and I never thought I would end up on it. I am still figuring out who I actually want to be and what I want to do in life and this pressure that I need to have it all figured out is making me anxious.

Maybe in two years I decide to go back and graduate. Maybe I will have some sudden desire to start my own business. Maybe I decide to say goodbye to everyone and start backpacking through Europe. Why the fuck shouldn’t I have the option to change my life path completely?

I think that growing older is causing a lot of anxiety for me because I have no one to talk to about this. People around me seem to have a plan, have this all figured out and I often feel like this weirdo that is constantly unhappy, gets easily bored with everything, cannot sit down and make a plan for the future. One of the reasons why I do not like making plans is because it feels like I impose more limits than guidelines on myself when I start planning my future.

For me, not conforming to the norms is the only way to live because conforming would make me lose sight of the things I want and my dreams. It would also kill me in my twenties. I believe that many living in more “traditional” societies understand what I am saying and that we all just need for the world to back off and give us room to grow and create our own futures.

Let me know what you think and have you experienced similar things!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna


Latest Poem: Poem #354
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
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Coffee Date: Equality in parenthood

Guys, I don’t know if this is one of our lovely Coffee Dates or me just having the need to vent about a thing I got randomly triggered by even though it does not really concern me. Let’s begin, shall we?

I was bored and did something I only do when I am bored and that’s scrolling through Facebook. I don’t know why facebook is still a thing but anyways…. An article about a woman who ended up in jail because she didn’t pay alimony was there and I had to be stupid enough to go and read the comments. I don’t know why I do this to myself.

I am going to focus on one thing here, one type of comment under this post. So, if we are mentioning alimony you already know that parents are divorced and the kids went to one of the parents – in this case the father.

The comment that just triggered me (and I will try to translate it the best that I can from Croatian) was: “You know how good of a mother she was if the court gave the kids to the father”. There were several comments of this nature under the post. What the fuck is wrong with our society? We have all of this fucking technology, we came to so many new discoveries, built so much but yet we cannot grow out of this patriarchal view of families and family roles.

Let’s just be clear on one thing – in many countries around the world, when parents get divorced the court and social services are more inclined towards giving the kids to the mother. And that bothers me. So when a mom doesn’t get the kids in the divorce then we question what type of a mother that is but when the father does not get the kids, that’s normal. We set the bar for fatherhood that low we don’t even bother to discuss the biased opinions the judiciary system has about family and parenthood; we do not even consider that both parents should have an equal opportunity to get custody of their kids. And that FUCKING BOTHERS ME!

For people who came to my blog for the first time, just know that this is coming from someone who grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father and still I can be objective enough to expect for fathers to be as good as the “mother” stereotype we uphold.

Parenthood should be equality. Both a mother and a father should be able to raise their kid, put clothes on them, cook a meal for them, study with them, put a roof over their head and they both should be held responsible for their child’s well-being. PERIOD! If one parent does not know how to take care of a child in the absence of the other parent, then that person should not have kids. I am sorry to anyone offended by this, but it’s the truth. A child is a responsibility and if you are not ready for it then don’t have a kid. If you expect your spouse to take care of the baby, then you are not ready for the baby.

I don’t like how we applaud fathers for things that should be expected from them like changing the diapers, for example. When a mom does it, it’s just a random thing but when we see a father who is changing diapers, feeding the kid, waking up in the middle of the night when the baby is crying etc., then we often have the need to tell the wife/mom how lucky she is for having such a good husband. Do you see how messed up that is? I know this is not the rule in general but we see this type of behavior often and it got us to the point where we are fine with the system discriminating against fathers when it comes to giving custody over the kids during a divorce.

If we are going to keep the bar this low for fathers and just expect moms to take care of the kid then we do not have a family with a mother and a father – we have a mother and a sperm donor.

I could make a whole separate post about moms just enabling the fathers to feel comfortable with sitting on that low bar society set for them. Also, I could make a whole post to talk about how this toxic mindset has badly influenced parents and kids living in domestic abuse. I am going to speak from my own experience – on more than one occasion the police and the judges and people in general overlooked all of the circumstances in which my family lived, overlooked how many times we had to call the cops, asked for help around my dad and took him to rehabs because of his alcohol addiction because all that could come out of their mouths was “What type of mother keeps her kids in such danger”. It’s always easier to judge than discuss the system that does not protect people in need, in poverty, victims of abuse etc. But that’s a topic for another day.

I am not a mom and maybe this is not a topic I should discuss, but this is my opinion and I am sticking by it. Feel free to let me know what you think about this in the comments down below!

This is off-topic, I would just like to thank you for being around and for showing me a lot of love on my last Coffee Date where I opened up about my struggle with my mental health in the last few weeks. Knowing I still have a safe space here is amazing and makes me feel good. I am currently in the process of getting myself out of this mess and getting better. I hope I will be able to make more posts for you soon and film some YouTube videos (already brainstorming some ideas) because straying away from writing and content creating always puts me in a bad state. Thank you all again, you are amazing, all 6.900+ of you <3

Let me know if there’s a topic you would like to discuss in out next Coffee Date and let me know if you have some video ideas for me – all suggestions are welcome!

Sending love and positive vibes!

Luna

Latest Poem: Poem #349
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: The art of getting comfortable
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Coffee Date: The art of getting comfortable

This is not easy to write, not just because it’s hard for me to discuss but because it has been so long since I’ve written anything that I don’t know how to do it well. Let’s just let the stream of thoughts flow.

After the last earthquake in Croatia, I took some time off. It was right before New Years and I just wanted to have some time for myself and away from my job and blog and everything. Just me. It turned into a disaster.

My mind does not like to be left without a hobby because then I spiral into negativity and episodes of sadness, fear, anxiety and all things that make me want to lock the door and never leave the room. Working from home certainly made this easy for me – too easy.

The first red flag that I was not doing well came with a sudden craving for smoking. I broke the habit over a year ago and was not planning on sinking into my nicotine addiction no matter how bad the cravings got. Smoking was an addiction but it was also a way for me to push down negative feelings. Something in my cup, music in the background and a cloud of smoke around me.

Instead of screaming that I am not doing well and seeking help, I started to close up. I got new addictions that helped me push the feelings down even for a short while – beer and binge eating. A few pounds are already visible, but I pretend they are not there.

“Why are you this unhappy?”, I asked myself one day. In an attempt to try and make myself feel better I started thinking about everything I had – a family, a good relationship, a good job etc., and the more I listed everything I got, the more I felt ungrateful and started telling myself that my own negative feelings were invalid and that I need to be happy because I do not have a lot to be unhappy about.

In the past, these feelings meant that there was something wrong in terms of me not seeking out to find what inspires me, to strive for more. These feelings were there to yell at me that I’ve gotten too comfortable and that I need to start moving forward. They would force me to move forward before they ate me up alive. I completely disregarded this now. I knew this when I was 15 and full of life but the 24 and tired version of me wanted to turn a blind eye and become even more comfortable.

And so January flew by with me waking up, working, eating, watching Netflix and being socially anxious about going outside while telling myself I am not socially anxious and that it was just the time we live in when people don’t want to be around other people. A month of getting extremely comfortable with all those negative feelings still floating around. A month of telling myself I do not deserve to feel bad because I have what I need to survive. Not live. Survive.

My quarantine-born Netflix addiction would lead me to different shows and whenever there was a scene that was sad or tears-of-joy happy, I would have to try really hard not to cry. It was not the scenes, it was something inside of me that had to be cried out but I did not let it. I would get in bed after a long, hot shower – the same bed I spent the whole day working and watching Netflix in – and I would pray for sleep to come before my brain had time to overthink this mess I was making of myself.

I stopped writing because the 24 and tired version of me knew that writing would get the demons out and it would make me move, kick me right out of this comfort zone.

And so February came. I looked at what I had done to my blog, looked at all of the filming equipment I got for youtube because I was excited to make videos and I just kept on getting comfortable. I will get to it eventually. I will get around my dreams and goals right after this “me time” that has done nothing but made me unhealthy, mentally unstable, overly emotional and a complete mess overall. Isn’t “me time” supposed to make you feel better?

So here I am, doing what I’ve done countless times before. Writing all of this out in hopes it will provide some much-needed clarity, peace and healing. Am I scared that I went in too deep into the comfort that it will take me months to recover and get back to myself? Yes.

But I have to force myself to not get scared by that feeling. I have to force myself to face it, conquer it and remind myself of who I am, what I came here to do and convince myself that I am not this tired, comfortable and unhappy person I tried so hard to be. There’s more, there will always be more and I have the right to go after it, whatever it takes.

Latest Poem: Poem #348
Youtube videos: Luna’s channel
Latest Coffee Date: Flowers in the Garden 
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Coffee Date with Luna: Recognize Your Patterns

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Ever since I dropped out of grad school, I have been experiencing a sort of a life crisis. Sometimes it’s okay, sometimes it hits me like a wave and I am a terrible swimmer. One of the things I have learned in this time is that the only way to grow and get the fuck out of this is to review my past actions, what decisions led up to this and how to take accountability for my actions and make better choices in the future. Trust me, I do not have this figured out yet, but baby steps are still steps forward.

One of the decisions I had to review is the type of people I let into my life, especially when it came to romantic relationships. Using the word romantic linked to the toxic relationships I actually had is very amusing to me. I had the attachments, the infatuations, the beliefs I found love and that love will conquer all and now I am here 24 years old and still do not know shit about love. But I do love to write about it.

When I look back and review my relationships, there are patterns I can recognize. I would either get into a relationship that would seem great but it would end abruptly because something was missing, I didn’t feel like the person I was with had any genuine feelings about me, like they didn’t care about me. The second pattern is rushing into relationships that I knew deep down would never work and then being crushed. As if I was looking for this amazing love that would survive the obstacles and thrive. And people, I thrived in one of those relationships that ended up with me crying and smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day. It wasn’t just the relationship that was toxic. The consequences echoed in my life for years and when I look back, I cannot help but ask myself: Why do I hate myself so much?

I refuse to take all of the blame for my failed relationships, but I can recognize where I went wrong. I didn’t leave people because they didn’t love me the way I need to be loved, but because I didn’t love myself. I projected my problems and my insecurities on to them. I wanted them to give me the love and attention I never gave myself. I was looking for someone who would care about me because I didn’t care about myself.

I started relationships and became infatuated with men who were bad for me because I didn’t feel like I was worthy or love. I humiliated myself to the point where I accepted crumbs off someone’s table and called it love. This is getting very hard to write but it’s something I have to face in order to be better and do better for myself.

I decided to share with you my relationship issues because you have these patterns too and maybe they just came into your mind. Writing them down, acknowledging these patterns will not solve them but it’s a start of a very long and prosperous journey. You cannot solve your problems in one night, in one post, in facing the truth but you can solve them with consistent work and by being honest with yourself always.

It’s hard. It’s fucking hard. It took me 3 weeks to sit down and write this because it’s not easy to admit that I hurt myself with my past relationships just because I didn’t love myself enough to seek what I deserve, what we all deserve which is love and respect and happiness. Do I love myself now? No. It’s a process but I won’t speed it up by not doing anything about it so, as always, I am sharing my truth here. I hope my little encounter with honesty will help you in your journey.

This is all I can take for this post, it’s hard to write about this when I don’t have my feelings sorted out but I am working on it. This is one of those baby steps.

As always let me know in the comments below your thoughts, what would you want to read about next and let me know how are you doing?

I love you all!

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

 

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Coffee Date with Luna: Why?

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna!

Our theme of today is not a very nice one but it’s a necessary one. I understand that there are many important subjects we could discuss and write about here but I, as a survivor or domestic abuse and a person that knows damn well how the system works, have to speak about this.

Epstein. May he rot in hell for all eternity and may that abomination of a woman that’s in jail now join him after she spills the truth on everyone involved.  Disgusting. It is disgusting that the authorities knew about this while they were abusing and trafficking girls. We all know it’s all true. We all know those girls do not have a reason to lie and that they are just a drop in the ocean of millions of girls whose childhood and teenage years were taken away from them. Why aren’t we talking about the girls who were brainwashed, scared into submission, to the sisters that were IGNORED BY THE FBI WHEN THEY SPOKE UP YEARS BEFORE EPSTEIN HAD A RAPE ISLAND!!!!!

Disgusting. I could insult and rain shit on Epstein and Maxwell but let’s talk about the actual impact this has on women who are victims of any type of assault and abuse, not just sexual.

Why was Epstein able to do what he did?
Money

Why was he conveniently suicided when the eye of the public was on this case?
Power.

The two things that run the world and are well connected. This shit went to the top. Why is no one speaking about that carrot looking troll in the White house who is a known misogynist, who insulted women and said “you need to grab them by the pussy” – why is no one looking into his friendship with Epstein? Why is prince andrew still free? Why are we letting this happen in front of our eyes.

A victim has come forward and accused prince andrew and he is out while she is still fighting for justice.  Even if there’s a crown on your head or a title in front of your name, you will be held accountable. I think it’s just deplorable how the British press had more to say about Markle, how they harassed her while there’s an alleged pedophile in the “royal” family. We can also talk about how the “royal” family is not saying anything about this, but I do not have the whole day. All I will say that as long as the powerful protect the powerful, the rest of us are a long way from justice.

And this is what scares the shit out of me. This case went up to the top. Not only were judges, FBI and lawyers looking at this, the world was keeping up with this case. The world was looking at this and everyone involved is telling women all across the world that they need to shut up when they are assaulted because no one is doing shit about it.

We are literally looking at money buying a way out for pedophiles so why should women anywhere be encouraged to speak out not only on Epstein but on other men? I know what fear is and I know what it means to FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE in a system designed to fail the victims and this is not an exaggeration. Why don’t we understand that women speaking out on assault and looking for protection are actually trying to save their life? Why do we need a dead woman, bodies piling up to realize that the fight against abuse is a fight for life?

True story now. I was a minor when I testified against my father and I mean, I was a minor! I have memories of my childhood very suppressed but I was somewhere between 10-12 years old. A psychiatrist who worked with my father stated that he is a man capable of killing. A trained specialist in his field described my father as a potential murderer. The police ignored us for years, there was actually a plot to get my sister and me away from my mom and we fought through everything, we got our day in court. Do you know what happened when 10-12 years old me stepped out of the judge’s room where I testified? My father was sitting there. The system that finally said “We are here to protect you before he kills you” let my severely violent father know that his underaged child was giving a testimony which will help to put him in prison. The fear I felt that day in something that cannot be described in words. For years I lived in fear of him escaping and killing the three of us. And just for the record, he did escape a few times from the facility where they held him after he got out of jail.

So these aggressions against women in the Epstein case by the system happen on a daily basis as well and why should women feel encouraged to step out or believe they have the right to protection if we are looking at pedophiles and rapists walking around freely while there are evidence and allegations against them?

I know that his coffee date has been a lot of WHY? But I believe you got my message. I am just here being 24 years old and still fighting my traumas, looking at this case and asking myself

When is this going to stop?

When are women going to have rights in reality, not just paper?

When will humanity be more important than money?

When will there be justice?

How many more victims are there?

How many more will there be?

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Coffee Date with Luna: Updates

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Usually, I have some specific theme I write about in these Coffee Dates but this is just a random life update. I have been away from the blog for a while now because I have been working in the office. As you know I have been working from home for a very, very long time and the past two weeks I have been back in Zagreb and in the office. Now I am going to work from home again. In order to have fewer people in the office we take turns every two weeks with work from home. 

This was one of the reasons why I was away from the blog. I was adapting to being out of quarantine, back in Zagreb and it just started feeling normal and then there was a spike in COVID-19 cases. Zagreb has the most cases in Croatia which was to be expected. A few days ago it became mandatory to wear a mask in public transportation and cabs. So there’s a little update on the COVID situation in Croatia, how are your countries doing? 

The quarantine in Croatia has ended because we managed to put the situation under control but also because it is the summer and the Croatian economy is centered around tourism.(VISIT CROATIA, GIVE US YOUR MONEY. jk). I am also planning to visit the coast this summer with my boyfriend.  This won’t be some YOLO vacation; we will keep safe and avoid large crowds of people. It will be more of a quiet vacation. We will go to the beach, maybe go to a restaurant for dinner because it’s my birthday soon and that will be about it. Nothing big, just taking some time away from Zagreb, my work, his university.   

These two weeks working in the office really benefited me when it comes to mental health. Since I travel with a tram to my work, I was scared of catching the virus but being in the office was so relaxing. I missed my work team, joking around with them. I was a lot less stressed about work since working from the office again because we can joke about work, talk, help each other out. Just being around people made it easier than it was while I was working from home. I am actually a bit sad because I won’t see them for three weeks because I will be working from home for a week and then I will go on vacation for two weeks.  

This is pretty much a little bit about my very boring life. Let me know in the comments how are you doing, what is the situation in your country, what is new with you? We haven’t had a coffee date for a long time. In the last Coffee Date you were all so supportive and kind and thank you very much for always being here for me. Also, some of you told me you would enjoy story times so I am currently working on that. I am also considering creating videos for story times, I think it would be interesting and a new hobby for me since I know nothing about creating videos. I was thinking to film a few on my phone and I know it won’t be best quality but I want to see if I can commit to this before considering buying a camera.  

I will stop talking now and be waiting for all of your comments, I’ll reply to everyone as soon as possible. Also, let me know what you would like to discuss next on our Coffee dates! 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

 

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Coffee Date

Coffee Date with Luna: 20 something crisis

Hello Everyone! 

It has been a long time since I just posted on the blog, had a talk with you or in this case, a cup of coffee. There is a reason for that. I have been going through a bit of a crisis that I do not know how to explain to myself or to others. 

I have a good job which keeps me financially stable, recently I met someone very special in my life, since I started working from home I have had more time to spend with my family, I have great friends and the list could go on about the things that are really going for me right now and still I am so miserable. There is a constant feeling of something missing in my life and it’s eating me away.  

I know that my career choices have a lot to do with my unhappiness. My goal in life was not and is not to be a customer service agent. I do like this job and I absolutely adore the people I am working with but there is still that feeling that something is missing. I have been in this career crisis on and off for the past 2 years and it’s a normal thing every 20something goes through but I can feel my mental health going to hell fast because I cannot cope with not having a purpose in life. Being aware of the fact that my degree is worthless and that no one wants to hire me in digital marketing because I have no fucking experience is not making this easy on me.  

Yesterday was my one year anniversary of working as a customer service agent. I have been feeling like shit for the last two weeks because I knew that I was reaching that one year at a job that was supposed to be temporary until I get my Digital Marketing certificate so that I can do something I am 100% invested in. But again there is this fear – what if I get into a Digital marketing agency and realize after some time that it’s not what I actually want? What if I just got that certificate to cover up for the fact that I dropped out of grad school without a fucking plan? 

As you can see, I am struggling which is why I haven’t been so active on the blog. I have had problems opening up to people about this because they either do not understand completely what I am saying or hit me with “Do you know how many people lost their job during quarantine and how many people are being paid less because of the COVID situation and how lucky you are right now?”  

Yes, I do know. 

I haven’t been fired, my job was never in question and there were no paycheck cuts in my firm. The only difference for us was that we had to work from home. That is it. Not a single person in the customer care center where I work felt the effects of quarantine when it comes to job security and money and this is amazing and I applaud the company for that.  

I don’t know if I am able to put this nicely, but I do not know how to feel okay and satisfied with my life just because others have it worse. Other people being in bad situations shouldn’t be a standard for me to feel good about myself and about my life but I have often felt under attack if I expressed any of these opinions out loud which made the struggle in my head even worse because it is all in my head. 

And then I opened up my laptop today and decided to write this mess out because this is my safe place and I often stray away from it when I’m in trouble but I am glad to be back. Thank you for putting up with my annoying rant about unhappiness. I know that our Coffee Dates are usually reserved for happy thoughts but I just had to get this off my chest. 

Please do let me know if you experienced similar issues and how did you deal with them? Let’s be the supportive WordPress community that we are.  

Also, we already passed 5,5k followers here on WordPress, my Poetry Bar inbox is full of your submissions so let me know if there’s any type of different content you would like to see on this blog. I publish from 3-5 Poetry Bar works daily, do you want more? Would you like for me to write about the current events, maybe to do story times, do you have some questions for me so we can do a Q&A type post. Tell me all of your wishes down in the comments because, honestly, I need some content ideas and working on this blog has always helped me work through my personal issues.  

I love you all, thank you for being so amazing and so supportive! 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

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Coffee Date

Coffee Date with Luna

Hello everyone and welcome to the first Coffee Date with Luna!

Like my cup says, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE AND MORE COFFEE!

Today, I will actually be recreating a post I did last year around this time and it’s in regards to being grateful. This year I had a really lovely Christmas with my family which is not something I thought possible 10 years ago. I was very open an honest about my domestic abuse story. My father was an alcoholic and he had mental health issues and he would beat us up, verbally abuse us and the cops were no strangers to us even on Christmas Eve and Christmas Morning. I don’t want to get into this story, I have a few posts about it but it’s important for this now.

So instead of being locked up in a room with my mother and sister with little food to eat and no Christmas tree this year we had two Christmas trees, happiness, freedom, a lot of food and we even went to Church together. I am not a person that goes to church but I know it’s important to my mom and I am happy she got that wish fulfilled this year.

As someone who grew up in domestic abuse and borderline poverty I never thought I would have a job that paid well, an apartment, a bachelor’s degree and all of the other things I have today. To be quite honest, I am grateful I made it out alive from my childhood.

Here’s where my copying of the last year post comes to life. Since the end of the year is close, let’s be grateful. We did this last year, remember?

I would like you to list things you are grateful for in your life in the comments and, for this year’s edition of gratefulness, you can also write down your goal or goals for the upcoming year. Let’s spread some love, positivity, support and gratefulness in that comment section!

I am going to start with the things I am grateful for this year: my family, my jobs, having the courage to pursue a different career path, all of you lovely followers here on Luna, walking away from people who were bad for my mental health, ummmmm… If I have some more, I’ll add in the comments.

My goals for 2020: building a career in digital marketing, working on myself as a person, strengthening our community here on Luna.

Let me hear you now! I can’t wait to read what you are grateful for and what your goals are for 2020. Since, like I did last year, I will make a blog post before New Year with all of your comments, make sure to also leave your blog link in the comment so I can tag you on our Gratitude post 2019!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna