Where do the feelings go? – repost

I am writing a poem about this and remembered how much I loved this little article I wrote so I decided to repost it. I hope you like it. 

Once the clocks on our hearts strike end and once a relationship has no meaning or function in our life where does it all go? Where do the feelings go?

I remember a certain “Sex and the City” episode in which Carry asks the same question and then says that it goes to their new girlfriends. I’ve often disagreed with Carrie’s outfits and I sometimes agreed with her theories but this one is an exception. I disagree.

The after part of a relationship has two possible outcomes.

The first one is the classic breakup we are all familiar with. You break up, start avoiding each other, start talking behind each other backs, go through mourning phases, text  each other, start again, fail, have rebound phases and so on. Here the feelings still exist but you don’t know how to get rid of them so you are trying every single thing except for dealing with them in a healthy way because let’s be honest the healthy way is the extinct and boring way. Mostly you just try to prove that you are great and that the breakup meant nothing to you.

The second outcome is the fabulous let’s stay friends outcome. It’s not fabulous. It’s an overture for a disaster. Where there are feelings there will be weakness and there will be benefits. All of that leads to a drama more tangled than Rapunzel’s hair which will only end up in a fight. The whole concept of staying friends with benefits with you ex is completely stupid. It’s like being allergic to peanuts and eating a Snickers every day – it makes no sense. I should know because I was stupid enough to do it twice.

One of you broke off the relationship which means that the other one will feel the need to compensate for being abandoned. That person is often prone to pretending they have no feelings, trying to hurt you on purpose, acting like they own the world when they are actually miserable. One of you two will also be honest and just go with the flow. That person will develop some kind of feelings which will end up in sadness or rage.

Rage is my thing. I think it’s positive as long as people know how to point it in the right direction and what is most important – rage will make you make your breakup final. No strings attached, no emotions, no anything. Pure rage pointed to getting your life back on track. You will notice his/her flaws, you will realize what didn’t work and you will sure as hell be sure that the breakup was the right choice and, sometimes, you will realize the whole thing was just a strike. You will be fine with it when you realize you can’t change the past.

My advice to you is that you need to end things when they aren’t working out anymore. The more you keep on trying to build something out of nothing, the bigger the disaster in the end will be. When you click the X on your laptop you want to close something so do it in real life too.

Poem #199

It all happened in a moment.
I caught a glimpse of you, I gazed
into your eyes and saw galaxies.
In a moment I loved you and
in a moment you were gone.
I swear I heard my soul  whisper in my
ear: “You know him because
I met him in a different life.”

Poem #153

I wrote about every feeling I had for you,
no matter good or bad. Everything you ever
were and are to me is in my poetry but this
desire, this immense wish can best be explained
in Spanish: Tengo ganas de ti.

Poem #149

Follow me into the dark. It’s not as scary
when you aren’t there alone. I’ll show you
the tricks to get around without making a
mistake, I’ll have your back so you don’t
have to look back. I’ll get you through the
tunnel, I’ll escort you to the light. It doesn’t
matter to me if we won’t be able to stand
together in the sun as long as you’re finally alright.

Poem #145

I was always of the opinion that
you can’t own a person and then
I met you. It took a touch, a kiss,
a hand wrapped around my waist in the
night to make me fall under your command.
Release me if you know how because I ran
out of ways to escape these handcuffs.