Poem #217

I always have to stay up late
when I need to write.
The night is dark, mysterious and
intimidating just like my demons
so when the sun isn’t out they
come out and play a game of
words with my hands.

You are not an excuse – making machine

You are not an excuse – making machine. God, I wish someone had told me this sooner because for the last 22 years, I’ve been an excuse – making machine. When people would wrong me, treat me bad I would make the excuses for them. If a guy played me, lied to me or if a friend cut me out of their life I would just make an excuse for them in the lines of “He/She is going through a lot now”, “The job is stressing him/her out”, “I know he cares, he’s just too scared to show it”. Damn, I really am a writer. Always making stuff up, explaining, elaborating, making everything poetic.  I need to put an end to this and so do you. Yes, you.

Making excuses for someone’s behavior is stupid, selfish and harmful all at the same time. This is especially noticeable in relationships so I will take them as examples to explain my point better. Let’s start with why this is harmful behavior. If you constantly make excuses for someone, it means that you are constantly ignoring all of the red flags in a relationship and you will end up hurt in the end. We all ignore red flags because we want to believe that the person we met is great but what we are doing is not. You need to be objective. If you feel like someone is ghosting you, ignoring you and only calling you when they are bored or horny then don’t make an excuse for them. They are not busy, they don’t have a lot on their plate, the little attention they give you isn’t anything special – see them for who they are. Not interested in you.

Now, why making excuses for others is stupid. Because it just is. You are actually giving a free pass to someone who is obviously telling you lies, neglecting you, playing with your feelings. You are literally making it easy for her/him to hurt you and that’s just stupid. It’s hard when you like someone, or even when you’re in love with someone, to admit that the person doesn’t want you. It’s hard to stop inventing fairytales about the person we like and admit they are not who we believe them to be. I honestly think that people fall in love more with the people they imagine in their heads than the real people standing in front of them. I think that the best way to stop making excuses for someone is to stop reading too much into the situation. You got dressed up, ready to go and meet him/her for a night out and they cancel with some lame excuse such as my head hurts or suddenly they have a family emergency. I’m not saying stuff like this has to be false but if it’s happening repetitively then it’s probably lies. You need to accept they are not being honest, don’t answer their messages and just try to let go before you fall in too deep.

And my favorite one. Making excuses for others is selfish. You probably think I am not really normal to write this since making excuses for other’s is literally handing someone an excuse so they would continue doing their thing, you are actually doing them a favor but that’s just what we see on the surface. The underlying issue of it is that you can’t accept the truth because it would hurt you so you make those excuses for him/her in order to make yourself feel better and to feel loved by someone. Just to feel that someone actually cares. This is harmful behavior and to be honest, I am guilty of this. Often, when I would feel alone or when I would get attached to someone I would become a victim of this type of behavior and it’s incredibly difficult to break this cycle. We all have the need to have someone around and then it’s just hard to accept that the person we thought was around well… isn’t. Probably never was. The time you spend making excuses for someone, spend doing something that will make you feel better. Turn off the movie in your head, stop replaying everything that happened, stop asking questions you will not get an answer to and go and run, workout, meditate, read a book, get blackout drunk (but give your phone to someone first). Do something other than digging your own grave.

If you feel like I just stabbed you and started twisting the knife inside of you, don’t worry I feel the same because all of this that I’m writing I need to start applying to myself so maybe, possibly I will be strong enough to take better care of myself. No matter how weird it sounds, sometimes taking care of oneself is the hardest thing to do so we indulge in behaviors as making excuses for others, becoming extremely depended on other people, getting attached to quickly to others, neglecting our own needs to constantly cater to others so that they would like us etc. I could go on forever but we’ll leave those subjects for other posts. Just stay strong and work on loving yourself more.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Poem #216

You left a big question mark in my head
and you’re depriving me of the answers to save face.
You misinterpreted everything I said just to
keep the situation moving in the direction you like
and that direction is as far away from the mess you left
in my brain. Run. Just run away. That’s what you do best.
I hope regret and guilt keep you warm at night since
you traded me for them.

How do we make ourselves unhappy?

I’m going through a lot lately and I started writing a post about it but I think it will take me a while to write it but in the process I started thinking about the way we make ourselves miserable. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that our actions and thoughts make us unhappy because we always accuse somebody else of being the reason for our misery.

We are so determined to make our lives work out the way we plan that we completely ignore the concept of change being a good thing. We have our eyes set on the prize and we don’t know how to enjoy the competition for it. Let’s imagine life like a car ride. You can stay on the road in your little car always but you will forget what’s it like to use your own legs to take you places. If you don’t venture outside your world you’ll never experience new things or maybe find a new dream for yourself. Let go of the steering wheel and let adventure consume your life.

Most of the negativity in our life comes right out of our mouths. It’s like we try to make ourselves feel bad. I can’t do this, I can’t go there, I’m fat, I’m ugly etc. Stop kicking yourself down. Each and every one of us has a great potential inside and we crush it by holding ourselves back. Stop saying it’s impossible, stop saying you aren’t good enough and STOP GIVING UP ON THINGS YOU HAVEN’T TRIED! Let positivity enter your mind and you’ll see how much happier you’ll be.

Tomorrow. The incredible land where all our dreams, hopes, aspirations and beginnings exist. We’ll do everything tomorrow. That tomorrow should turn into now. You want a good grade? Open that book now. Want to lose weight? Start eating healthier now. You want that promotion? Start fighting for it now. You want to save your relationship? Talk to your partner now. Tomorrow is the future and you control it by your actions that are supposed to happen now!

Technology and development made it possible for us to acquire anything in a matter of seconds and, you maybe don’t believe it, but that speed and availability of everything is making us unhappy. We forgot that things take time. We forgot how to work for something because we expect everything to just be given to us. Get your lazy ass off of that couch and do something that isn’t bitching about not having what you want. If we don’t reach our goals in a matter of days we tend to lost faith and give up. Stop doing that, have patience and remind yourself that the harder you work for it the more it will pay off.

This is something that we all have in common and it’s called comparing. Not only do we make ourselves miserable by doing it but we can also become extremely depressed because of it. As soon as we see somebody having it better that us we start feeling deprived and get depressed. Stop comparing yourself to others because you’re not them. You don’t live their life. You are an individual and you should build your life by becoming better than the person you were yesterday not by becoming better than somebody else. Powerful people know how to appreciate their success and they don’t have the need to compare it to other to get validation that they are better. Remember that!

And lastly we make ourselves unhappy by not appreciating our mistakes the same way we appreciate our success. Mistakes are the only life lessons because no books can teach us what our mistakes can and we remember nothing like the things we did wrong so it is necessary for you to learn how to process it in a healthy way. If you made a mistake it doesn’t mean you have to sit down and cry about it. You should actually try to find a new approach to a problem, get creative and get more determined to make things work just to prove yourself that you can do it. Mistakes are lessons, not failures.

Hope I inspired at least one person to change something to become happier. Remember that you are your biggest project in life and you should never give up on yourself!

Poem #215

I was the rose you threw to cry over a withered garden.
You didn’t notice I disappeared. For you, nothing changed.
I had light, you flipped the switch.
You want the best for you, told me I wasn’t on the list.
Pain is just a fuel and you gave me plenty.
At least you left me with something other than regret.

 

Guest Post Information

This blog is expanding really fast, new followers are coming on board every single day and I’m thrilled! Our little community is not that little anymore!

Since new bloggers who join us have questions about guest posts and don’t feel like digging through the blog to find all of the previous posts here are the three ways you can guest post on Luna. I will probably repeat this post after every 200-400 new followers just to keep everyone up to speed.

So our beloved POETRY BAR – here you send your poetry works to poetrybar1@gmail.com together with a few words about yourself and a link to your blog and an Instagram account if you have one since The Poetry Bar does and we post your works there also. Check it out here:  https://www.instagram.com/the.poetrybar/

Our middle child of guest posts is THE POSITIVITY PRESS – here you send your positive stories, share positive vibes, send pictures, tell us about your new job or hobby and send them to postpositivity@gmail.com. It was designed to bring joy to us on a daily basis and keep us positive and grateful for all the little experiences that happen to us. You just need to send your positive vibes to the e-mail address and attach a blog link if you’d like

And our new born baby is #savingme project – here you can share your stories about any type of abuse you’ve experienced. The email is savingmestory@gmail.com. The project was made to let abuse victims know they are not alone. If you don’t want to share your whole story, you can share how you got out, some advice to people going through this hell currently. It’s a safe place and your story can be published completely anonymously. Also, you can see that I post about my own experience with domestic abuse and not only my story but my thoughts, mechanisms that helped me overcome it etc.

 

That’s pretty much it. Now, new bloggers and old bloggers let’s see what you’ll send my way. Love you all!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna