Poem #336

I am giving everything away
and the bar is low.
You just need to love me a little bit more
than I love myself and that’s easy to do.

Last poem by Luna: Poem #335
Our First Travel Vlog: Vacation Vlog – Island of Krk, Croatia

Saturday talks

Hello everyone, hope you are having a great Saturday!

Since the last rant things have remained the same with this clogged ear of mine, I am still deaf but I am happy because yesterday I came home. I am finally in my apartment and in my room and I’ve missed it soooooo much.

And I’ve missed my mom’s cooking. I’ve had a bit too much food today and I always do this when I come home to my mom after a long period of time. I am a lousy cook and also I do not like to cook so coming home to her is a blessing when it comes to food.

I have been having some issues with my diet lately and I have been thinking about transitioning to a Mediterranean diet. It wouldn’t be so hard for me because it bases on fruits and veggies which I already eat an abundance off.

What else is neeeeew? Oh yeah, we are soon reaching 6k subscribes on this blog and I never thought this will happen. Like, we are closer to 10k than to 1k which we had a few months ago. I love how fast our little community is growing – not so little anymore to be honest!

This whole blog was a real step out of my comfort zone, especially since I made the vacation vlog and published it on Youtube. It’s the small things that count, you know. I am actually trying to come up with some video ideas when I already opened a Youtube channel.

I have been writing a new Coffee Date with Luna for the last week and a half. It’s just some of my thoughts about that disgusting piece of shit Epstein. As you can see, I hate him and I am sorry that he was killed before her could pay for what he has done and before he could open that filthy mouth on everyone else who was involved. Yes, this post escalated quickly and yes I do believe that he was killed. That wasn’t a suicide. Period.

The reason why it’s taking me so long to upload and finish that Coffee Date is because I have so much rage I have to censor and the post is right now 6 pages long and it’s too much. I am just all over the place when it comes to this topic.

As you can see, ranting too much in my posts is kind of my thing. The only thing short about me is my height and my poetry. I was actually thinking of posting shorter, concise posts here and maybe making videos on Patreon for those who want to listen to me talk.  BTW, if you would be interested in this, let me know in the comments.

And I also have to come up with Youtube video ideas. If you have suggestions, use the comment section to let me know. I am also working on a poem. I am being very productive when it comes to my content creating and it makes me happy.

I am going to stop talking now and hit the shower. It is uncomfortably hot in Croatia. The type of hot when you are just doing nothing and you can feel sweat running down your back. That type of uncomfortably hot.

I am really gone now.

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Vacation vlog – Island of Krk, Croatia

It took me a century to finish this but it’s finally here. The little vacation vlog I promised from my vacation on the island of Krk is here. I didn’t think it would be quite as long as it turned out but I hope you will enjoy it and that this could be a fun new thing we do on the blog from now on since I am obviously lacking creativity in writing… but I promise that I am working on it!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

 

 

Summer Vacation – Island of Krk, Croatia

Hello everyone!

My vacation has ended yesterday and on Monday I am going back to work. It has really been a wonderful few days, I also celebrated my birthday yesterday. It was so hard to leave Punat after days of sunbathing, swimming, eating out in restaurants and chilling.

I will begin working on the videos I took during the vacation this weekend but since I am very much new at this, it will probably take me some time to make a nice video for you to show what the island of Krk is like and to show you what the Croatian seaside looks like. Also, I am not a pro at this so the videos didn’t come off perfect or as I imagined they would but I will do my best to edit them well.

If you follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog you probably saw a lot of my stories and some pics I posted of the vacation. You can also check out the IG stories about the vacation in my highlights under Punat/2020.

I will just share a few photos from the vacation here. I was making a lot of videos so I didn’t take a lot of photos but I have some!

So, I love the traditional Mediterranean architecture and on our seaside we have plenty of examples. Just look how pretty this is! Croatia seaside cities are often compared to Italian cities by tourists, I heard this comparison a lot while working as a waitress during summer.

We also visited the small island of Kosljun which is the home of  a Franciscan monastery and also a nature reserve.  

The city Vrbnik just stole my heart. It is wonderful and I cannot believe that I haven’t heard about it before. I took a lot of videos of it so I have less pics but I have these two. The view of the sea is beautiful and I also had my birthday lunch there which I will show you later on. We actually came to Vrbnik on Wednesday and then we drove back there on Tuesday for my B-day lunch because we just loved this little city.  

I just had to throw this in. We were in the city of Krk and while we were walking around town there was a woman trying to catch a baby owl which fell out of its nest. The owl didn’t know how to fly well yet but she flew a bit and landed right on by boyfriends’ pocket. That little thing you see on the pocket of his pants is a baby owl. There were like three people trying to catch the owl and return her to her nest because the street was really close and she could’ve been hit by a car. We couldn’t stay for long enough to see if they returned her to safety but I do believe they did because they managed to catch her once.  

 Oprna beach is the most beautiful beach we visited. It is a bit hard to access, you’ll see it in the vlog video and you can also see there’s a hill behind me and we descended down a hill to get to this beach. I was a bit scared to film the walk down to the beach because I was scared of slipping and falling down but both of us got down to the beach and climbed up successfully. It was so pretty! 

And these are some pics from my birthday. I didn’t take a lot of videos during this day because it was out last day on vacation and we were just enjoying. The first pic of the food is the lunch we had in Vrbnik. If you come to Croatia, you have to try our Prosciutto and cheese, especially cheese from Pag. We had the dinner in Punat and it was delicious. He had some gnocchi and I had black cuttlefish risotto. My pretty little gift was this watch that he gave me when we went to Krk because I couldn’t wait to open up my present.  

And now I am home and I have to accept the fact that my office is not the beach and slowly come back to reality. But I am very grateful to have a job in this situation and to have had a chance to take a few days to visit Krk and relax. I hope you are all having a lovely day and stay tuned for the vlog. I will try to put it up as soon as possible.

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Vacation mode on

Hello everyone
I am just enjoying this vacation! We arrived yesterday to Punat, walked around, went to the beach and today we are having a breakfast with a nice view and then we are off to a beach that is claimed to be Punat’s most beautiful beach. It’s a bit hard to get there because we have to park the car and then walk to the beach. We are literally wearing sneakers to go there.

Punat beach

I just wanted to check in with you guys. I am keeping my promis and taking videos of everything we visit, see, eat and drink to make a little vlog for you. I already know I will spend days learning how to edit but I am looking forward to this new project

Hope you are all doing well!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Getting ready for Vacation

Hello everyone!

How are you doing? I hope you are well, healthy and happy. The situation with COVID-19 is taking a turn for the worse in Croatia. Zagreb is the epicenter of the illness, masks are becoming mandatory in all public transportation, stores and coffee shops. I can’t wait for the push back because of the last one. If you know anything about the Croatia people, you should know that we have  a coffee drinking culture. There are actual researches that show that the Croatian people are one of the people who spend the most time drinking coffee in coffee shops and bars. I am so interested to see how this will turn out.

I have actually been to a store this morning, buying a present for my sister and there were still people (older people) without a mask and on the entrance of the store there was no sanitizer. I have no words. I can understand that store workers are overworked and that they didn’t manage to refill the bottles or replace them, but I have no excuse for people not wearing a mask. I didn’t wear it until recently, but since the number of cases is spiking, we should all start wearing them and start behaving responsibly..

I went on a whole Corona rant for no reason, but do tell me how is the situation in your country?

I am actually leaving for my vacation tomorrow. I am still cautious and broke enough not to leave the country so I will be visiting the island of Krk in Croatia. I am so excited because I missed the seaside ever since I left Zadar and I am looking forward to relaxing and chilling and getting a tan and everything! I was also considering trying to film a little vacation vlog for you all. I think it would be a good way to connect with you and show you how pretty Croatia is. I have been thinking about creating videos for a while now and since we are approaching 6000 followers, I thought it could be our new thing. Also, if you would like to see more content about the little vacation, you can follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog.

Since this blog is my life at the end of the day, you know my laptop is coming with me. I will not let The Poetry Bar go out of business just because I am on the beach. I will still open every e-mail and post your work. Also, I have a little question for you.  Can you please tell me do you get like a notification every time I post your work, that I placed a link to your page or anything like this? Thank you in advance to The Poetry Bar crew who will let me know in the comments! I am asking because I don’t always have time to write an e-mail back to you and I would hate to have to send a generic template whenever I post your poem.

I will finish this post now, because you know I can talk and talk forever. Stay safe, healthy and happy!

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna

Coffee Date With Luna: Body Insecurities

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

I am keeping the theme consistent with the last one and the theme is insecurities. In the last Coffee Date with Luna I decided to open up a bit about my skin and hair insecurities because insecurities are something many of us struggle with.  

One of the top insecurities people face with is linked to their body weight and body shape. We are terrorized by unrealistic beauty standards and it is in the human nature (unfortunately) to compare ourselves to those images, especially in the social media era.   

I am not a doctor, psychologist or any type of expert in the field so I will not be touching the subject of anorexia, mental health issues and obesity since I do not think other than experts should comment on this because people spread a lot of false information and negativity when they talk about things they are not educated on. 

I actually want to talk about my own insecurities about my body, weight, body shape. I struggled with it a lot. I was never overweight and, to be honest, I was underweight as a child because I had some eating issues which followed me up to puberty where I started gaining weight and my body got a certain shape. 

The thing that helped me through these insecurities was – love. It became my answer to everything and in this story it has two sides. 

With extra pounds, my insecurities started to pile on while I was in high school. I would often feel bad about not being thin, I would go on extreme diets and workout plans and developed a binge eating problem. I started to read a lot of books during high school, some of them were self help books, and without noticing the image I had about myself started to change when I got in touch with the concept of self-love. To be honest, I am still getting in touch with this concept every single day of my life. I am still struggling but I came to a point where I would never deprive my body of food or put myself on extreme workout plans I was too weak or unskilled to follow. Working out is great but going to an extreme can cause serious injuries, I should now.  

Self-love isn’t something you wake up with or can keep without making an effort. Self-love is about creating a relationship with yourself and we all know that relationships can be hard. You will have to work on it every single day. Self-love, bodywise, means choosing a healthy lifestyle instead of an extreme diet. It means loving yourself enough to feed your body with good food while not depriving it of some sweet cravings every now and then. You can work out to get abs while loving the chubby stomach you have now. This is a process and it doesn’t happen overnight.  

When you try to change your body while being fueled with hate or insecurities regarding your appearance, it will backfire on your mental health.  

As I got older, I actually became conscious of my body image issues when I started getting into my first serious relationships. My body insecurities messed with my mind and it affected my relationships because I was not comfortable with the idea of someone’s hands on me. That insecurity was not only toxic to me, but to the person I was with as well. During that time, I had accepted my body shape and implemented self-love into my life but I was just starting to realize that it wasn’t the reflection in the mirror I only had a problem with. My insecure mind created this image of how a person, in this case a boyfriend, will see me and my body and it scared me because that image was not very nice in my head.  

This is where the other side of love came to my rescue. A person I wrote many poems about, realized I would become very distant and would “wiggle” out of his hands very fast even when he wanted to only hug me. He actually realized my insecurities, and I will get really real with you now, when he noticed I would get anxious when my bra would be off. I was also insecure about being as flat as a board while everything else about me was chubby and round. I did not enjoy him putting his hand around me because I didn’t want him to feel I don’t have a flat stomach. He would sometimes lift me up while hugging me and I hated it because I thought I was too heavy for him to hold in the air. He felt those insecurities. 

He actually taught me that love will not see that what I see in the mirror. It took some time but he showed to me that love doesn’t judge and doesn’t walk around ready to measure me. Being with the wrong person, a person who judges you and tries to aggressively change you, will only feed into your insecurities. This is a good way of knowing is your relationship toxic or not. I think it is good, actually necessary, for the person who loves you to warn you about unhealthy habits etc., but actually criticizing someone and making them feel bad about themselves is toxic.  

To quote him: To my eyes you are perfect because I see more than your looks. I love every inch of you and that includes more than just skin and a body.  

At the end of the day, love is the answer to everything including our insecurities. You need to learn to love yourself and let others love you as well. Don’t tell yourself that no one will love you the way you are because there’s someone better. To the right person you are the best and you have to be the best for yourself.  

It’s all about love. 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

 

Coffee Date with Luna: Embrace your insecurities

Hello everyone and welcome to another Coffee Date with Luna! 

Today I would like to talk about insecurities, especially related to looks, because I have some and so do you. I honestly do not wish this episode of Coffee Date to be labeled as a girly episode because I think it’s discriminatory and feeds into the “macho man” narrative where men cannot have insecurities and talk openly about them because they have to “man up”. If you believe any of that stereotype nonsense, this is not the blog for you.  

Mostly, when someone brings up insecurities people first think about a few pounds they would like to lose. I had insecurities tied to my weight and body shape for a long time and it took a lot of work to get rid of them completely. I can say that today, with my 23 years, I feel very comfortable with my few extra pounds, not so defined curves and over all I just feel very comfortable in my body. If you’d like me to do a separate post about body insecurities and how I coped with them, do tell me in the comments. 

My biggest insecurities begin from the shoulders up – my face and my hair. When I say my face, I am not saying I think I am ugly. I am actually referring to my skin and my acne problem. It all started a few years back while I was at university. I have problems with my thyroid and the issues escalated one summer to the points where I started taking medication for it. My hormones were all over the place. This caused the outbreak of hormonal acne and I lost more that 20% of my hair.  

I used to have volume in my hair and it was slightly wavy because I actually had curly hair as a little girl. In one summer I lost all of that. My hair became lifeless, flat and it gets greasy in a matter of hours after washing. When I would dry it and run my hand through it, I would end up with a fistful of hair. I actually cried a few times while drying my hair because it was just hard to watch my hair fall out so aggressively. Doctors weren’t helping at all.  

And then the acne came. Doctors weren’t helping at all still. I understand it’s hard to fight such issues but I felt so awful and angry at my doctors. I gave up makeup for a solid year and a half. To this day I still refuse to wear makeup on a daily basis and put it on only for special purposes or nights out and that is hard. These acnes break out on my chin mostly, they are very red or white and my face gets very red and has that greasy shine. It is not comfortable to walk around like that especially not in a world that glorifies perfection and we live under the false social media standard of beauty. They are not around all the time, that’s the thing with hormonal acne – they break out during different parts of the month. It is a very disgusting feeling to wake up in the morning with a painful face. These acne actually hurt.  

Some of you follow me on Instagram @luna.theblog and are probably thinking that I am making this up. I am not, but on my IG pics I am mostly wearing makeup and you can’t really see my face. There are some pics, better said selfies, where if you zoom in you can see the imperfections under my foundation. My insecurities are very much visible in the fact that I never posted a makeup-less picture to my social media. That’s how much I do not like looking at my face skin. I do not photoshop my photos but I do wear makeup while taking them.  

I was told many times that I am so confident because I don’t put makeup on when going to work or grabbing a cup of coffee with friends etc. I am not confident but I do not speak loudly about it because I am scared of people then paying too much attention to my face skin. The rational part of my brain know that this wouldn’t happen. People are not standing around me judging my lifeless hair and hormonal acne and the rational part of me knows this but this is the thing about insecurities. They mess with the rational part of our brain.  

This is why you need to talk about them at least with yourself or on a blog like, well, me. Rationalize with yourself and do what’s best for you. I don’t wear makeup because it makes my skin worse and it took a lot of rationalizing to come to the point where I feel comfortable being makeup free on the daily. You have to learn how to put your own well-being ahead of people’s opinion and that voice that whispers in your ear. Giving up and giving in to your insecurities can harm your mental health and you could literally harm yourself because mostly our insecurities are about our body and the way we look. If you feed into your insecurities you will consider yourself not good enough, not lovable and people and companies who know how to manipulate your insecurities to their advantage will use them against you. I feel like I am building a conspiracy theory, but I believe you know what I am talking about. Expensive beauty procedures, strict diets, depression… The list goes on and it’s terrifyingly long (like this post) 

If you are insecure about your body or something else, it’s okay to try and change it but don’t forget to love it in the process. You can accept and love yourself while trying to change yourself.  

I could literally write on and on about this issue but I think it’s time to stop. If you would like to read more about this topic, just leave it in the comments below and also feel free to share your ideas for other Coffee Date posts. Don’t forget to let me know in the comments what do you think about this post, how do you handle your insecurities and how have you been lately. 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

The Kitchen

hugs and thanks for a great meal
that’s sweet but still
have to do those damn dishes
scrubbing those pots
ruining my nails
soap suds on my brow
such drudgery

with a flick of the dial
a smile erupts on my face
our favorite song fills my ears
you cranked the volume way high
my hips starting to loosen
your hands flowing with them
one twirl and i face you

you pull me close
grabbing even tighter
our forms as one
moving across
the kitchen floor
with knowing smiles
that this is our everlasting love

Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

Poem #261

I recognized you in a crowd of people.
I felt your presence on that street during rush hour.
Without a sound, without a warning
memories creeped up on my mind.
I turned my head in your direction and whispered
to myself “I once loved that man”.