Poem #189

How many lives have you
started tomorrow?
How many lies have you told
yourself to postpone the final
stepping into everything you want to be?
Don’t live in pain and in the fear
of the unknown. Step into everything you
are meant to be.

When you make a mistake you will hurt
but this life you’re living is hurting you too.

Poem #188

You begged for the rain to last a month.
Just so we could hide under our umbrella
of mutual lies, fairytale moments and beliefs
of us ever standing a chance.

Once the umbrella is closed we will be
standing in the sun but we won’t
be facing each other. The raindrops hitting
my window will always bring a memory
of your touch.

Poem #187

A long time ago I lived on the run
from life, truth, reality and everything that hurt.
In a certain point my head banged against
a wall and the path I ran on suddenly disappeared.

The walls are closing up on me, everything I have they’re
crushing. It’s kind of hard to breathe in this fog of memories.

I was never the one to stand still and let the world
cave in around me so I did the worst possible thing.
I’ve killed. I’ve killed my touch with reality, my bond
with family, I’ve killed every single piece of me that was
too big of a danger for my sanity.

I stitched up every wound, I’ve turned every source
of pain into lyrics and quotes but the same words with
which I let go are coming from other people’s mouths and
minds and I can’t stop them from flowing my way.

The words always stay and they get engraved into my brain.
I’ll put up my mask and pretend they’re not there until I break
down again. Then I’ll just keep on being a murderer and I
won’t stop until I do the biggest crime. I’m not stopping until
I kill every last piece of humanity in me.

Numbness is my goal and it justifies all means. I’ll be a killer
until I manage to stand against anything

Poem #185

Love is what happens when two wholes
combine in a feeling higher than themselves.
Attachment is what comes to life when two
broken pieces try desperately to act like
they are a puzzle.

Poem #184

I was looking tonight for a song that
will perfectly depict how I feel and make
me let it all out. Some sweet melody to
bring on the tears that are suffocating me,
to get rid of the lump in my throat but not
a single beat came close to describing it.

In the end I was able to sum it all up in
a simple sentence: Broken in need of healing
And so the waterfall began, the healing
came streaming down my face.

Poem #183

A million years in the same place and
now I’m packing up my suitcase. I’m leaving
for the world even if the journey is only in my
head. Let me run, let me fly, let me swim but just
don’t let these 4 walls crush my spirit.

The same wall I’ve been staring at for years
started to speak to me. He said that even though
I’ve painted it the writings beneath are still
telling the story of the girl with many dreams.
He’s telling me to get my feet moving because
my life will pass and I will just be staring at it.
He’s telling me to get out of this town before
my heart dies and I get left with nothing to pour
into these lines.

A million years in the same place and
now I’m packing up my suitcase. I’m leaving
for the world even if the journey is only in my
head. Let me run, let me fly, let me swim but just
don’t let these 4 walls crush my spirit.
I have so much more to see, I have so much life
within and I don’t want to be chained to this city.
I’d rather spend the night on the concrete under the
big lights than in the cold hug of my walls.

These walls are telling a story about a girl that wanted
it all but only ended up on the floor every time the
liquor would get her father spinning out of control.
Lately she’s been tilting at windmills and her exhausted
body hit the ground. She’s just staring at the walls now,
not even trying to make a move to brake the chains that
are holding her down. Her enemies are in her head, her mind
is tightening the noose around her neck. Who is she? Just
look in the mirror, she’ll be there.

Poem #181

Between reason and love I chose
love every time and every time
without a doubt I fell hard.
And I loved every second of my
body hitting the ground because it
was done for the only thing
worth fighting for in life.