You got angry when you found out I threw
out all of your stuff. I used to love them,
I used to sleep in them but now they are just
painful memories of the man I used to love
who was nothing like what you turned out to be.
You are nothing compared to the one I loved but
life is cruel enough to make you both the same person.
Two faces, one body.
Suddenly we were strangers. Like there was
a wall through which we couldn’t see each other anymore
and once, not so long ago we would spend endless hours
talking about things we don’t remember now.
It’s like all of the good disappeared as if taken from the
surface by a strong wave that suffocated both of us and
in order to live we had to swim in opposite directions.
Not a single glance, not a single smile when we pass
each other in the street, as if there wasn’t a bond
so strong holding us together, as if we didn’t don’t what’s
it like to hold each other tight. Suddenly we were strangers.
It’s hard to put one foot in front
of the other when you lose faith in yourself.
It’s forced, it’s fake, you do it because
you know you have to and not because
you want to.
Stuck in a place you don’t want to be,
surrounded by people you don’t want to see,
reliving the same nightmare every morning.
Where do the lost go?
Leave the place, leave the city.
One foot in front of the other, maybe you
stumble across the faith you lost.
You see someone else in the place that
once belonged to you.
“It doesn’t hurt, it doesn’t hurt,
it doesn’t hurt” you repeat to yourself
but no matter how many times you say
it, you still can’t force yourself to believe it.
There’s only one way to conquer your pain.
Find comfort in it. Take it as a sign that you
still feel, that there’s still fight in you.
When you hurt, you breathe.
When you hurt, you are forced to find healing.
But when you are numb there’s nothing left.
Hurt. Yell. Break. Mend. Hit lower than bottom
and build a staircase out of nothing.
It always happens when the night falls.
As darkness slowly starts its kingdom over
the sky, it slowly takes over your soul.
You avoid mirrors because you don’t know
what are you going to see in them.
The voice whispers in your ear: “There’s
so much more for you ahead.”
But you, so beautiful and so kind are trapped
in the misery of your own making because of
trying to fit in with the world when you were
born to stand out.
Like an old, forgotten fountain here
I stand. Once I shined in all of my splendor
and filled with life and now I am drained.
No more water, no more admire.
My edges are jagged, the bright, white
color began to look gray. You can see the
cracks but I felt them a long time ago
because they always start on the inside
before emerging to the surface. Will anyone
recognize there’s still life in this fountain and
toss a coin to make a wish?