Quote

I decided to end today with this quote. I really needed to read this today and maybe some of you needed this quote as well so I decided to share it. Lately, I have really had difficulties with controlling my reactions to… everything. I have just been so quick to snap. Anyways, I am tired. I am going to bed because I have to do this life thing all over again tomorrow but I hope with better control of my emotions.

Make sure to send in your submissions for The Poetry Bar, Positivity Press and #savingme. Also, this week we will be having a really exciting announcement about one of our Poetry Bar participants. Can’t wait to share it with all of you!

Goodnight!

Sending love and positive vibes,

Luna

Where do the feelings go? – repost

I am writing a poem about this and remembered how much I loved this little article I wrote so I decided to repost it. I hope you like it. 

Once the clocks on our hearts strike end and once a relationship has no meaning or function in our life where does it all go? Where do the feelings go?

I remember a certain “Sex and the City” episode in which Carry asks the same question and then says that it goes to their new girlfriends. I’ve often disagreed with Carrie’s outfits and I sometimes agreed with her theories but this one is an exception. I disagree.

The after part of a relationship has two possible outcomes.

The first one is the classic breakup we are all familiar with. You break up, start avoiding each other, start talking behind each other backs, go through mourning phases, text  each other, start again, fail, have rebound phases and so on. Here the feelings still exist but you don’t know how to get rid of them so you are trying every single thing except for dealing with them in a healthy way because let’s be honest the healthy way is the extinct and boring way. Mostly you just try to prove that you are great and that the breakup meant nothing to you.

The second outcome is the fabulous let’s stay friends outcome. It’s not fabulous. It’s an overture for a disaster. Where there are feelings there will be weakness and there will be benefits. All of that leads to a drama more tangled than Rapunzel’s hair which will only end up in a fight. The whole concept of staying friends with benefits with you ex is completely stupid. It’s like being allergic to peanuts and eating a Snickers every day – it makes no sense. I should know because I was stupid enough to do it twice.

One of you broke off the relationship which means that the other one will feel the need to compensate for being abandoned. That person is often prone to pretending they have no feelings, trying to hurt you on purpose, acting like they own the world when they are actually miserable. One of you two will also be honest and just go with the flow. That person will develop some kind of feelings which will end up in sadness or rage.

Rage is my thing. I think it’s positive as long as people know how to point it in the right direction and what is most important – rage will make you make your breakup final. No strings attached, no emotions, no anything. Pure rage pointed to getting your life back on track. You will notice his/her flaws, you will realize what didn’t work and you will sure as hell be sure that the breakup was the right choice and, sometimes, you will realize the whole thing was just a strike. You will be fine with it when you realize you can’t change the past.

My advice to you is that you need to end things when they aren’t working out anymore. The more you keep on trying to build something out of nothing, the bigger the disaster in the end will be. When you click the X on your laptop you want to close something so do it in real life too.

Choose yourself

Everyone is so afraid of loneliness that we rarely become aware of the fact that we are actually never alone. While endless thoughts are flying through your head, you are not alone. Loneliness comes creeping up when we lose a friend, our family’s support, when we are single or when we just don’t feel connected to other people. Because of this we often “drown” ourselves so much in other people and please everyone just to keep them around that we become unaware of the damage we are causing to ourselves.

The problem of loneliness isn’t in not having anyone, it’s in not being aware that we have ourselves.

First you have to establish a healthy connection to yourself. You will know when that happens because in that moment loneliness will no longer be a problem and the silence won’t feel so creepy. It’s good to choose yourself. It’s good to work on yourself. It’s good to become a bit introverted in order to find your inner peace.

Putting your own needs ahead of everything else isn’t selfish – it’s necessary! People who will turn their backs on you for doing so don’t have your best interest in heart. I am not trying to say that you should shut the world out and only give yourself all of your attention. Be there for your family and friends but also think about your needs, put yourself as a priority and stop neglecting your needs and dreams. As long as you are not happy you will never be able to fully integrate yourself in the world and that feeling of loneliness will keep on haunting you.

If you are a career oriented person, sometimes you will have to cancel a coffee date or a night out in order to rest and have enough time for your work or studies. There’s no need to feel bad or left out because of it and if your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend criticize you about it that means that your wellbeing isn’t so important for them. Don’t keep your goals and plans quiet. Explain to others why you do what you do and those who sincerely care about you will support you and find a way to understand you.

Every now and then find a night to close the doors on the world, be alone, turn off the internet and work on yourself and on your inner peace, to make clear plans about reaching your goals. Don’t always cater to other people’s need and ignore yours. You are just as important as other people and on your list of priorities you have to write with big capital letters “ME”!

Positivity Press #39

My boyfriend and I enjoyed fishing on the Potomac River in Maryland on Wed. We caught a 30 inch catfish!! Everything started out ok, but when we got into Cumberland, Maryland things turned south pretty quickly. We got lost, my boyfriend got frustrated bc he couldn’t find any bait… It could’ve been a bad day, but turned out to be really good!! We caught the catfish, spent some quality time together, and ended the day back at home with tomorrow’s dinner in the cooler – which I ate by myself bc my boyfriend said he wasn’t hungry!
My name is Holly and I write a blog called Holly’s World (photographybyhcmorris77.com).
It’s about photography and my experiences (life, gardening, road trips), basically if something happens -anything really- and I photograph it, I will write about it.

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If you want to share positivity here at The Positivity Press send in your positive news with pics and the link to your blog (if you want) to postpositivity@gmail.com

Positivity Press #38 – Soul Positivity

“You are allowed to be both a masterpiece and a work in progress,
simultaneously.” – Sophia Bush

I don’t know how many times I’ve read about how you should feel
comfortable in your own body, how you should appreciate your flaws and
embrace them, how we’re all not perfect and we don’t need to be.
Everyday I see more and more people being real and true to themselves
and they are fierce and wild and free and I want to be like them.
For a long time I didn’t realise that being like them ultimately meant
being me.
That is the magic about them: there is none, except for the magic of
being themselves. Which is pretty damn powerful if you ask me.
I also acknowledged how afraid I can be to try something new and it
got pretty clear to me that I didn’t even know who I was without that
fear.
Because I was so swayed by people’s judgements and how they would
react to what I was doing. I wasn’t only afraid, I just didn’t know
what I wanted because there was no room for me to try and figure it out.
Ultimately it wasn’t about the people surrounding me but how I let
them affect me and I really had to learn how to be on my own for a
while.
I realised 3 things.
The real people will stay in your life and support you on your way.
Not everyone will accept or like everything you do. And thats SO fine.
Because we are all different and as long as you love what you do and
who you are you have everything you need.
We are all our own person and we are not depending on anyone but it’s
nice to surround yoursel with good people.
It is so important to be with people who accept you for who you are,
who are kind and loving and supporting.
People you can exchange good energy and motivation with. Who make you
feel more powerful after you spent time with them.
But let’s get back to the topic of this.
Body positivity is already a huge thing in our society nowadays. I
love how the trend is going towards being more real. I think we should
all be more pure and true to ourselves and also accept that life isn’t
perfect.
No one is always happy and that is fine because we need changes in our
lives, we need sadness to feel happy again.
It’s like a sunny day after a long period of rain. Or even the other
way around, the big storm after a heatwave (love and hate that at the
same time though because it scares me a little bit).
Let’s embrace the storms in our lives. Let’s talk about how afraid we
were about the lightnings and the thunder that shook us.
Let’s speak about the calm before the storm, being in denial of
something, the state of depression we  were in before we got where we
wanted to be. Let’s embrace our weaknesses.
Let’s be soul positive. We need to accept our souls, not only our bodies.
I think it all starts within us. Our bodies are the mirror of how we
feel inside. So we should worry less about how we look and more about
how we feel.
I want depths and real conversations. I’m not interested in people who
have ‘it all figured out’.
I want to see insecurities, flaws and realness.
The world is ready to be happy and kind and weak.
Let that storm wash away your barriers.
Have a lovely day.

Xx

Liz
Blog: https://soulpositivity.wordpress.com/
Instagram: @xlizx

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If you want to share positivity here at The Positivity Press send in your positive news with pics and the link to your blog (if you want) to postpositivity@gmail.com

Find your indicators

We hear from life coaches and Instagram quotes that we need to identify our triggers to avoid negative and harmful behavior and situations. I do believe that’s true but there’s also something else we need to identify. Our indicators.

We live in a world where pain and struggle are being praised for no apparent reason. If you have eye bags, finish your 5th cup of coffee by 10 in the morning, always have troubled relationships you somehow feel validated in this world and I can say that I am also one to blame for this type of behavior because I do have eye bags, drink a gallon of coffee in the morning and go into one shipwreck of a relationship to the next.

Also, we became very detached from our emotional state and feelings. We just deal with negative feelings by ignoring them. We all live using the famous line “That’s just how it is”, “It’s no big deal” etc.

It’s not how it is and it is a big fucking deal.

We often ignore the notion of being in a negative, unhealthy situation just because we got used to it. We got used to feeling crappy, tired, exhausted, unmotivated… We became very mechanical in day to day life and forgot how to live and that’s why we need to find the indicators and patterns that help us realized that we are in a bad situation.

My personal indicators are smoking and writing. People who are close to me know that I have the tendency to obsessively smoke when something bad is happening to me. I tried breaking this awful habit several times but after two, three weeks, maybe even two months of not smoking something stressful happens and I just find myself buying cigarettes and looking like a chimney. As for my writing, when I put down something on paper I always read the whole thing in the end and I can sense the tone in which I wrote it and that is a strong indicator of the way I’m feeling.

Indicators are something like behavior patterns and you need to find them. When you catch yourself doing those things, repeating those patterns find the reason why and try to problem solve with logic the situation in which you are in. Indicators are mostly bad habits like smoking, drinking, binge eating etc.

I know it’s sometimes painful and hard to just get in touch with your emotions, with yourself and admitting that you are in a bad state but it’s necessary in order for you to pull yourself up and get stronger.

I hope this all made sense because I struggled with describing all of this and just find the words. Let me know in the comments what do you think and what are your indicators.