Everyone is so afraid of loneliness that we rarely become aware of the fact that we are actually never alone. While endless thoughts are flying through your head, you are not alone. Loneliness comes creeping up when we lose a friend, our family’s support, when we are single or when we just don’t feel connected to other people. Because of this we often “drown” ourselves so much in other people and please everyone just to keep them around that we become unaware of the damage we are causing to ourselves.
The problem of loneliness isn’t in not having anyone, it’s in not being aware that we have ourselves.
First you have to establish a healthy connection to yourself. You will know when that happens because in that moment loneliness will no longer be a problem and the silence won’t feel so creepy. It’s good to choose yourself. It’s good to work on yourself. It’s good to become a bit introverted in order to find your inner peace.
Putting your own needs ahead of everything else isn’t selfish – it’s necessary! People who will turn their backs on you for doing so don’t have your best interest in heart. I am not trying to say that you should shut the world out and only give yourself all of your attention. Be there for your family and friends but also think about your needs, put yourself as a priority and stop neglecting your needs and dreams. As long as you are not happy you will never be able to fully integrate yourself in the world and that feeling of loneliness will keep on haunting you.
If you are a career oriented person, sometimes you will have to cancel a coffee date or a night out in order to rest and have enough time for your work or studies. There’s no need to feel bad or left out because of it and if your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend criticize you about it that means that your wellbeing isn’t so important for them. Don’t keep your goals and plans quiet. Explain to others why you do what you do and those who sincerely care about you will support you and find a way to understand you.
Every now and then find a night to close the doors on the world, be alone, turn off the internet and work on yourself and on your inner peace, to make clear plans about reaching your goals. Don’t always cater to other people’s need and ignore yours. You are just as important as other people and on your list of priorities you have to write with big capital letters “ME”!