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The Poetry Bar

A Pounding Heart

Life is spinning around and around,
Sound after sound after sound after sound,
My heart pounds and pounds and pounds,
Sometimes I think it will jump out of my chest,
Please allow me some rest,
Depersonalisation,
Derealisation,
I am fucking done,
I’m not having fun,
I don’t know if I can sleep,
Weep and weep and weep and weep,
Another tonight,
They all say it’s going to be alright,
It’s one hell of a fight,
To keep tight,
And muster this might,
But I do not remember the light,
It seems so long ago,
That I felt any sense of peace or ease,
Please God please,
Let me into your kingdom again,
I can’t handle this pain,
Why do I feel so insane?
Yet also sane,
My body is crumbling,
My spirit tumbling,
Body pain never leaves me alone,
I wish I had a different tone,
It screams at me,
What am I to do?
Scream back at it?
Surely I’d wake up in an institution,
Don’t know if I’m coming or going,
Thoughts lost in translation,
I keep doing meditation,
My head is wildly scatty,
How could you understand,
This mess of a walking band,
A symphony with scattered frequencies,
Out of vibrational harmony,
Suicidal thoughts swim through my head,
I’d love to be dead.

– Amber @diosraw 03/12/20 00:32
Hi there, I am a young human named Amber from the UK discovering what it means to be human, my soul purpose and what we are doing here on planet gaia. I’m a writer, the people’s journalist, philosopher, African djembe drummer, gardener, plant lover, poet, musician, photographer, yogi, blogger, knowledge addict, researcher and student of the universe who is searching for truth and knowledge. I love to laugh and have deep, meaningful conversations.

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If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog and Instagram account to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com

7 replies on “A Pounding Heart”

Insomnia, anxiety and depression go hand in hand! Right now I am on the brink of insomnia. And that can trigger the other two. Sleep is everything. But we don’t always have control over how our minds work. My mind can get a bit psychedelic when I can’t sleep. I recognise a lot in your poem! I hope you’re okay!

Hey, thank you for writing this. My mind also can get psychedleic when I don’t sleep. They all go hand in hand, we are holistic beings. Sleep has been proven to be of the up most importance.. Thanks for recognizing my poem. Love to you. Hoping you are ok too. How is your sleep? Amber ❤

Hi Amber…. the truth is, that right now I am so title that I am almost afraid to go to bed. I fear not being able to fall asleep. A year ago I had severe insomnia for almost two months and I nearly went mad.
But I have decided not to panic when I lie awake tonight. Panic makes everything worse. I will beat this, because I have learned from the previous episode. I can do this, HOO HAA! Thanks for your concern. Not everyone understands this. Some people lie their head on a pillow and sleep! Unbelievable….

Haha, I feel this all too much! It wouls be a gift from god to sleep at nighr soundly, I look around me in amazement.. Glad to have connected with you. I have been through very very similar experiences.. all too similar.. you remind me of myself. I have gone mad I think, insomnia breaks down sanity..

By the way, feel free to start a conversation on my blogs “The Human Family Community Open Thread”, today’s link is: http://diosraw.com/2020/12/10/the-human-family-community-open-thread-5-feel-free-to-start-a-conversation/

If you ever need to speak or can’t sleep like myself just send over a comment, I’d like to speak with you, I find you fascinating!

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