Conflict erupts, yet again. Respond or slink away?
If I stay, I face the cacophony of fieriness; I put myself in danger of being wounded.
Leave, and I’m embarrassed that I didn’t defend myself.
It’s a lose/lose scenario.
How do I represent? Why do I care? What do I gain and what is at stake?
All thoughts are firing amidst the chaos playing out in front of me. WHAT DO I DO??
The internal struggle dominates in this external battle, this the more pressing issue.
The voice deep within gets louder. “WHAT DO I DO?!?!”
I hesitate, I’m crushed.
I match the tone, I’m angrier.
I fear, I lose.
The indecision is killing me. The best of us dies too.
I bloody my world.
I feel red.
It’s the anger at myself, and others who put me into the mode of having to figure it out.
I see red.
It’s the blood in my eyes. Enduring pain which colors my world dismal.
I embody red.
It’s the cloak of shame I wear. Every quarrel, every struggle with you, every time.
It’s time to think clearly. This cycle of pain needs to stop. NOW!
A birthing of insight emerges. It must, or I lose myself.
My being, this drama, it needs to face this human. Challenge Level 100.
I respond with the face of who I am, who I protect, and who I must love first.
This being here – me – is constant. My humanity is the battle worth having.
Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.
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