Battles

Conflict erupts, yet again. Respond or slink away?

If I stay, I face the cacophony of fieriness; I put myself in danger of being wounded.

Leave, and I’m embarrassed that I didn’t defend myself.

It’s a lose/lose scenario.

How do I represent? Why do I care? What do I gain and what is at stake?

All thoughts are firing amidst the chaos playing out in front of me. WHAT DO I DO??

The internal struggle dominates in this external battle, this the more pressing issue.

The voice deep within gets louder. WHAT DO I DO?!?!”

I hesitate, I’m crushed.
I match the tone, I’m angrier.
I fear, I lose.

The indecision is killing me. The best of us dies too.

I bloody my world.

I feel red.

It’s the anger at myself, and others who put me into the mode of having to figure it out.

I see red.

It’s the blood in my eyes. Enduring pain which colors my world dismal.

I embody red.

It’s the cloak of shame I wear. Every quarrel, every struggle with you, every time.

It’s time to think clearly. This cycle of pain needs to stop. NOW!

A birthing of insight emerges. It must, or I lose myself.

My being, this drama, it needs to face this human. Challenge Level 100.

I respond with the face of who I am, who I protect, and who I must love first.

This being here – me – is constant. My humanity is the battle worth having.

Susi Bocks – writer/author/poet, has self-published two books – Feeling Human and Every Day I Pause. You can find her work at IWriteHer.com or follow her on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/MyHumanityInWrittenForm/, where she invites you to read her thoughts and get to know her. Bocks’ work has been published in the anthology SMITTEN: This Is What Love Looks Like: Poetry by Women for Women and in Scarlet Leaf Review, VitaBrevis, Spillwords, Literary Yard, as well as other literary magazines.

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9 thoughts on “Battles

  1. This is so powerful, it’s like you got into my brains on one of those ‘down moments’ of indecisiveness and you transformed all my messy thoughts into a composition of clarity . .So good. I love it

    1. Thank you! I’m thrilled that you enjoyed it. 🙂

  2. I have never read a poem out loud for a long time,this this got my voice back.

    1. Thank you!! <3

  3. Beautifully written🧡

    1. I appreciate that, Victoria! <3

    2. Thank you, Victoria! <3

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