A fresh page in a new journal
I want to fill in the blanks with the thoughts you inspire
A best friend
A sexual release
I’ll look at you and feel sunshine golden warmth
and hellfire red sins
You ask for my words so I don’t have to wonder if you want them each day.
You’re thrilled to tell me
and tell me and tell me
because I’m always on your mind
and your mouth
Because you say I taste like sweet cream
I don’t ever doubt if my presence is a blessing to you.
You anticipate our conversations
no matter how much I babble on
Because you say I sound like music
You tell me that I drive you crazier than you’ve ever been
while I hide how smitten I am,
because it’s even crazier.
I can only try to show you how crazy.
You’ll appreciate it more and more each night
In daylight, I’ll feel your cool lack of jealousy
and our indescribable sense of security
I’ll notice your protective instincts
as you put your arm around my waist
I want to know acceptance when I’m weak and vulnerable,
because I hate to show it
You call my bluff when I act strong and stubborn,
as if I don’t need your hugs
You know me.
Nobody ever has.
You understand I can do everything on my own,
my way, it will all get done somehow, someday.
I’m capable, you’re aware,
but you also know that I don’t want to leave your side.
You’re the same.
I hear it even in our silences
as I feel the heat in my chest when our shoulders brush
intoxicated by your unique scent
It’s a blessing to witness your devilish grin as you realize that
I want to savor you with my tongue
and your savage grip tightens to pull me in as near as possible
as if we’re ever far
I want to be close to you always
giggling and squeals
blowjobs and breakfast in bed
it makes us late for work and we don’t mind
we don’t stress
it’s so easy.
We’ll go on adventures to the grocery store
And we will ardently grab each others hands
As if it’s the first time and we don’t do it everywhere we go
We frolic in puddles during a rainstorm
then warm up over coffee and conversation after midnight
and stay up late without realizing time has passed
Our arguments are sarcastic and silly,
and end with hair pulls and spankings
sweet evening walks through the park
turned into a surrender to our carnal desires
I want to take turns reading books to each other.
I want to feel your fingers inside of me at the bookstore
I will star in your daydreams and interrupt your thoughts as you try to sleep
Write down these dirty dreams of yours so I can make them real for you
I don’t just want to cross your mind, I want to live in it
I won’t settle until I mystify you
A little hypnosis..
and then I’ll pull you back to reality and support your dreams
but was it you who hypnotized me first?
I want you to take me because you need me to be yours
I want to be your prized possession, your muse, your queen.
There is a final page in every story book
Where it seems the characters are the happiest they’ve ever been
and the reader wonders “what about the rest of their story?”
With our story, there is no end
We’re always the happiest
Because were always together
Even when we fight
And when we’re apart
Hello! My name is Alexandria. I’m an intersectional feminist and advocate for victims of sexual violence. I frequently post on Medium as well as my new WordPress blog (https://eternalmetamorphosis.art.blog) . My site is filled with raw and confessional journal entries about my recovery from trauma. Being a survivor of rape myself, my intended purpose for Eternal Metamorphosis is to help victims to feel empowered in the way that is unique to their journeys. I’m optimistic that my stories, and the stories of all survivors shared on my page, will broaden minds and encourage compassion, understanding and ACTION. Click the link below to check out my site and get involved ! You can follow me on Instagram and Twitter @alexandriaroswick
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