To My Many

Memories resting on the sidelines

Ever present, never seen

One is many, many one.


Clothed in shades of tawn and russet

Decaying thoughts and fading blood

Memories resting on the sidelines.


Tawn and russet crusted bodies

All the same and all unique
One is many, many one.


Just below an opaque surface

Firmly past still yet present 

Memories resting on the sidelines.


Slide along, you russet alters,

Your beings blend in tawny grace

One is many, many one.

Every alter once a body
Every body binding time
Memories resting on the sidelines
One is many, many one.

I was born into a Satanic family and used in child pornography and prostitution – also mind control experimentation. Against the odds, I got out in my twenties, married, had children, and kept a job. In my forties, when my children were launched and my parents had died, my amnesia broke and I could, for the first time, understand why I felt so anxious and alienated. Remembering was a blessing; what I remembered certainly was not.

Much of my time now is spent online with other survivors, which gives me great joy and satisfaction. My website is ra-info.org. It contains FAQs, articles, and bibliographies on various aspect of ritual abuse and healing. (It was the first website on ritual abuse on the Internet.) My blog, at ritualabuse.wordpress.com, is a mixture of information and personal material and includes some of my poetry and artwork.

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