My head is under water
and instead of swimming to the surface
I am learning how to breathe.
Chaos and fear are the default for my mind.
I was never taught that you can swim up
and inhale without pain.
The only way to move forward
has been under pressure
So I don’t know what to do with peace.
It’s unsettling, it makes me paralyzed
in the stillness and silence
I can’t move from the couch.
I thought I was scared of loneliness
but it turned out I am scared of happiness.
I break my own heart because it’s familiar.
I can see the moon above the surface.
I am sinking to the bottom,
unsure if I want to grow gills.
You can buy my book on Amazon by clicking: Rehab
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