My head is under water
and instead of swimming to the surface
I am learning how to breathe.
Chaos and fear are the default for my mind.
I was never taught that you can swim up
and inhale without pain.
The only way to move forward
has been under pressure
So I don’t know what to do with peace.
It’s unsettling, it makes me paralyzed
in the stillness and silence
I can’t move from the couch.
I thought I was scared of loneliness
but it turned out I am scared of happiness.
I break my own heart because it’s familiar.
I can see the moon above the surface.
I am sinking to the bottom,
unsure if I want to grow gills.
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My lates video:
This is the exact situation everyone feels. Well written 👍🙏
“I thought I was scared of loneliness
but it turned out I am scared of happiness.”
Wow. 👏
So absolutely perfect! “Chaos and fear are the default for my mind. I was never taught that you can swim up and inhale without pain.” You have managed to sum up my childhood in those two sentences. It has taken four decades to realize life doesn’t have to hurt and that happiness is possible. Poetry has a way of touching our souls. Luna, this is a beautiful and impactful poem.
I am scared of happiness ✍🏼👍🏻