Poem #232

I see you hiding in the shadows
of what they told you that you should be.

I can feel your heart break every time
they bend your will.

Step into the light, there’s nothing to hide.

The world always judged those
carrying change in their heart.

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How do we make ourselves unhappy?

I’m going through a lot lately and I started writing a post about it but I think it will take me a while to write it but in the process I started thinking about the way we make ourselves miserable. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that our actions and thoughts make us unhappy because we always accuse somebody else of being the reason for our misery.

We are so determined to make our lives work out the way we plan that we completely ignore the concept of change being a good thing. We have our eyes set on the prize and we don’t know how to enjoy the competition for it. Let’s imagine life like a car ride. You can stay on the road in your little car always but you will forget what’s it like to use your own legs to take you places. If you don’t venture outside your world you’ll never experience new things or maybe find a new dream for yourself. Let go of the steering wheel and let adventure consume your life.

Most of the negativity in our life comes right out of our mouths. It’s like we try to make ourselves feel bad. I can’t do this, I can’t go there, I’m fat, I’m ugly etc. Stop kicking yourself down. Each and every one of us has a great potential inside and we crush it by holding ourselves back. Stop saying it’s impossible, stop saying you aren’t good enough and STOP GIVING UP ON THINGS YOU HAVEN’T TRIED! Let positivity enter your mind and you’ll see how much happier you’ll be.

Tomorrow. The incredible land where all our dreams, hopes, aspirations and beginnings exist. We’ll do everything tomorrow. That tomorrow should turn into now. You want a good grade? Open that book now. Want to lose weight? Start eating healthier now. You want that promotion? Start fighting for it now. You want to save your relationship? Talk to your partner now. Tomorrow is the future and you control it by your actions that are supposed to happen now!

Technology and development made it possible for us to acquire anything in a matter of seconds and, you maybe don’t believe it, but that speed and availability of everything is making us unhappy. We forgot that things take time. We forgot how to work for something because we expect everything to just be given to us. Get your lazy ass off of that couch and do something that isn’t bitching about not having what you want. If we don’t reach our goals in a matter of days we tend to lost faith and give up. Stop doing that, have patience and remind yourself that the harder you work for it the more it will pay off.

This is something that we all have in common and it’s called comparing. Not only do we make ourselves miserable by doing it but we can also become extremely depressed because of it. As soon as we see somebody having it better that us we start feeling deprived and get depressed. Stop comparing yourself to others because you’re not them. You don’t live their life. You are an individual and you should build your life by becoming better than the person you were yesterday not by becoming better than somebody else. Powerful people know how to appreciate their success and they don’t have the need to compare it to other to get validation that they are better. Remember that!

And lastly we make ourselves unhappy by not appreciating our mistakes the same way we appreciate our success. Mistakes are the only life lessons because no books can teach us what our mistakes can and we remember nothing like the things we did wrong so it is necessary for you to learn how to process it in a healthy way. If you made a mistake it doesn’t mean you have to sit down and cry about it. You should actually try to find a new approach to a problem, get creative and get more determined to make things work just to prove yourself that you can do it. Mistakes are lessons, not failures.

Hope I inspired at least one person to change something to become happier. Remember that you are your biggest project in life and you should never give up on yourself!


Poem #100

They say that every seven years the
human body completely changes its skin.
It’s a comfort to hear.
Maybe in 7 years my love for you
will go together with the body
you held in your hands for so long.

They also claim that every 7 years
our hair is completely different.
Even better to hear.
In 7 years I won’t have the same hair
you smelled so passionately, the same
hair you played with every night
before going to sleep.

When will someone state that
every seven years we get brand new
feelings so I could have hope this
mess you left inside of me will heal or disappear.


Poem #89

I am down on the A1, A high, A wishing
upon a lucky star. Just one of the
many passengers but these miles
aren’t just miles, they are memories left
behind and a whole past broken down
in search of something new to step into,
to step out of the dark.
The night isn’t so scary anymore, I
guess I grew right out of that fear or
I just managed to face what’s lurking
in the dark. I guess I am not who I used
to be and you can find the new me
traveling on the A1, A high, A wishing
upon a lucky star.


Poem #75

There is something so bitter sweet
in the feeling autumn brings.
You see the trees giving away their
soul, being naked for the wind to
touch them but yet they leave the
ground so colorful for us to walk on.

The rain lingers with a certain smell
in the air and makes us feel as if it
will wash away our sins. The sky is
crying for us to close our umbrellas
and let nature walk us into a new
stage, a new colorful path.

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Who is your person?

When the lights die, when you wash off the remains of the day off of your body and when the masks we wear come down who is the person you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen by? Who is the person in front of which you don’t need a mask because they know who you are and accept you for it? Who is the person you call in the middle of the night just to hear them and calm yourself down? What name or names came into your head?

I wrote a lot of questions just to make that name or those names come into your head. I’ve spent two weeks in my hometown with my family and with my girls and it made me think about the person I was, the people I gained and lost, people who taught me life lessons and the people who I allowed to stab me in the back despite my own better judgment.

My first name is my mother because that woman has an answer to every question and she was my biggest support over the years and after her I have them.


My best friends. The family I picked for myself. I’ve made many mistakes when it comes to choosing friends because I’ve let people take advantage of me, push me around, make a fool out of me and humiliate me. I still fall into traps with people and I still get stabbed in the back by the people I let into my life with open arms but that’s all life. Everything is a lesson as long as we allow it to be.

You need to know who your people are. You need to create a circle of people who support you, understand you and love you and you need to do the same for them. Surrounding yourself with people who are good for you isn’t selfish, it’s NECESSARY. If you stay stuck with people who are bad for you just because you are afraid to be alone or change something then that’s on you and everything that happens is your responsibility.

You will get knocked down by people but as long as you know how to learn from it you will be able to stand back up. It isn’t about having many friends, being known by everyone and having all the attention – it’s about the people who you call in the middle of the night crying, the people you call when something great happens, the people who make your day just by being in it, the people who aggressively believe in you, the people who won’t be afraid to stand up to you when they see you’re doing a mistake and so on…

You need to love yourself enough to surround yourself with such people and you need to know that you are worth having people like that. No matter what you did in life and how many times you made mistakes you don’t deserve to be humiliated, pushed around, used and miserable.

Even if you are alone now, you don’t need to be afraid. Strength is built in loneliness and it’s better to be alone than in bad company. Everything you need will come to you as long as you love yourself enough to accept it.

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Rule #4

No matter how much you try to blame everything and everyone around you you know that everything starts and ends with you. It’s your life, be in charge of it.


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Change yourself, not the world

The main reasons why we get frustrated are people around us who do something to upset us or are just mean to us. Well, that’s a lie.

The source of stress and anger in your life is you because only you have the power to control the things that get to you. I’m not saying you have full control, because we all know that sometimes it’s just one of those days when nothing goes right and we get frustrated at everyone and we can’t control our emotions.

Now let’s cancel out those days and talk about the thing you do control such as the way you look at people.


This is probably something that I should have learned a long time ago but I didn’t. I’m a judgmental person and what I see is what I judge or at least I used to. For the last year I just realized that you can’t say what somebody is feeling until you walk in their shoes for a day or two.

And what is most important, you can never say you have it harder than someone else. Just because somebody has a smile on their face doesn’t mean they are happy and just because somebody has money doesn’t mean they have it all. Don’t feel superior then someone else just because you think you have more problems but you’re still handling everything better than someone who seems as if they have everything served on a silver plate. I hope that this is making sense because this is the first time I have a problem with expressing myself…


“I don’t give a damn” is probably one of my most used sentences. I just don’t give a damn about many things such as people’s opinion. Now, I’m not one of those people who will do what they want and won’t listen to what others have to say. I’m one of those people who will pick the people with which I share a mutual love and respect and I will care about their opinion.

Where the hell do you expect to go in life if you care about every single opinion in this world? Nobody, and listen to me carefully, nobody is good enough to fit everyone’s standards – not even you so stop trying! Just have a circle of trust around yourself and give credit to the people who deserve it. If that circle of trust only includes one person, and that person is you, don’t get scared. Remember what I said in my post Expectations – “The day you learn to stand alone will be the day you become invincible.’’ The right people will come along the way, just keep on going.


Why do you care what other people do? And by that I mean, why do you compare yourself to others? When you do it you just poison your own mind in a despicable way because comparing leads to social deprivation – don’t do that shit to yourself. While you were checking what’s new with the girl/boy you actually hate you could have been working on becoming a better person. You have one life, it’s your life, it’s the only life you control and the only life you should be 100% involved in. Get your nose out of other people’s business and believe me that all of that poison will just disappear from your life.


This is something I still didn’t completely learn how to do. Just turn around and walk away. One step at a time. Just walk away from the people who do nothing for you but expect everything from you. Stay the hell away from people who talk much but do nothing. Turn your back on those who only used you to do their work, their homework, to be their therapist, to listen to their drama without ever paying attention to you. There is only one situation in which you shouldn’t walk away. When it comes to hypocrites you shouldn’t really walk away. You should tell them what you think, swing your leg strong enough to kick them in the butt and kick them out of your life. Amen to that!

I realized that this post is humongous, so I’ll stop here and make a sequel some other day or just take some themes I want to work through more thoroughly. What I was actually trying to say all the time is that you can’t change people around you but you can change yourself and when you manage to do that you’ll find happiness.

Now you tell me, what’s the thing you want to change in the way you see and treat other people? 😉

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Change. The word itself causes so much stress and anxiety that some people fear it more than death. What is it so scary about changing that makes us paralyzed and often depressed? In this world where things change on a daily basis are we so scared to venture outside or universe and embrace the change?

All of these questions started popping into my head 3 weeks ago when I realized that I was moving to another city 400 km from home and that I won’t be studying at a college I wanted. I knew I will be moving out of my house and going to university and I was prepared for that but I wasn’t prepared for my plans to be changed and for me to have to encounter new people and a new environment.

I remember the night before my moving day. It was the first time in my life that fear paralyzed me. I fell into an old habit again – smoking. It was the only thing that relaxed me. So I was just sitting there, on the floor of my empty bedroom, with my cigarette, starring at my suitcases. Right about my fifth cigarette I asked myself: ‘’Why are you such a coward?’’

I cried during the ride to my new ‘’home’’ and at night I strolled down the beach all by myself. I barely survived the first night in my new bed. Two days later my roommate came and our parents went home. We were all on our own.

And then it hit me. I could sit here, feeling sorry for myself or I could make this work. Change won’t be scary if you don’t let it take over.

Be in control, make the change compromise and make it adapt to you. Instead of smoking one cigarette after another to lower down the fear, use it as motivation. Let the fear motivate you to become better and to prove to yourself that you are fearless.

Expand your horizons but don’t forget the views you had seen. The best way to make change adapt to you is to keep some of your old habits. For me it was breakfast time after which I make a big coffee for myself, work on my blog and read.

On the other hand I said you had to expand your horizons so make new habits. Make new friends. Just make new! Let the change slide into your life gradually but don’t let it overwhelm you.

If you manage to let go, but still pull all the strings, in a matter of weeks the change will become your everyday life. It will just blend in until it fully disappears and the fear will be gone with it.

I think that the main confusion about change is that we fight for it but we fight against it. The truth of the matter is that without change we would all be in the same place our whole lives and maybe that place is scary, dark and makes us unhappy but we still hold on to it because that place is familiar and in a way it makes us feel safe. It false safety and it’s false happiness so don’t live in it just because you are scared of change.

It’s easier to survive a change and fight a bit harder for a little while than to spend a lifetime in misery so don’t fear the change – embrace it!

P.S. So this is what happened. My FB page was deleted for some reason and I had 2000 fans. I’m trying to get back on my feet so could you help me a little with pressing like.

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