When the lights die, when you wash off the remains of the day off of your body and when the masks we wear come down who is the person you wouldn’t be embarrassed to be seen by? Who is the person in front of which you don’t need a mask because they know who you are and accept you for it? Who is the person you call in the middle of the night just to hear them and calm yourself down? What name or names came into your head?
I wrote a lot of questions just to make that name or those names come into your head. I’ve spent two weeks in my hometown with my family and with my girls and it made me think about the person I was, the people I gained and lost, people who taught me life lessons and the people who I allowed to stab me in the back despite my own better judgment.
My first name is my mother because that woman has an answer to every question and she was my biggest support over the years and after her I have them.
My best friends. The family I picked for myself. I’ve made many mistakes when it comes to choosing friends because I’ve let people take advantage of me, push me around, make a fool out of me and humiliate me. I still fall into traps with people and I still get stabbed in the back by the people I let into my life with open arms but that’s all life. Everything is a lesson as long as we allow it to be.
You need to know who your people are. You need to create a circle of people who support you, understand you and love you and you need to do the same for them. Surrounding yourself with people who are good for you isn’t selfish, it’s NECESSARY. If you stay stuck with people who are bad for you just because you are afraid to be alone or change something then that’s on you and everything that happens is your responsibility.
You will get knocked down by people but as long as you know how to learn from it you will be able to stand back up. It isn’t about having many friends, being known by everyone and having all the attention – it’s about the people who you call in the middle of the night crying, the people you call when something great happens, the people who make your day just by being in it, the people who aggressively believe in you, the people who won’t be afraid to stand up to you when they see you’re doing a mistake and so on…
You need to love yourself enough to surround yourself with such people and you need to know that you are worth having people like that. No matter what you did in life and how many times you made mistakes you don’t deserve to be humiliated, pushed around, used and miserable.
Even if you are alone now, you don’t need to be afraid. Strength is built in loneliness and it’s better to be alone than in bad company. Everything you need will come to you as long as you love yourself enough to accept it.