How do we make ourselves unhappy?

I’m going through a lot lately and I started writing a post about it but I think it will take me a while to write it but in the process I started thinking about the way we make ourselves miserable. It’s hard to admit to ourselves that our actions and thoughts make us unhappy because we always accuse somebody else of being the reason for our misery.

We are so determined to make our lives work out the way we plan that we completely ignore the concept of change being a good thing. We have our eyes set on the prize and we don’t know how to enjoy the competition for it. Let’s imagine life like a car ride. You can stay on the road in your little car always but you will forget what’s it like to use your own legs to take you places. If you don’t venture outside your world you’ll never experience new things or maybe find a new dream for yourself. Let go of the steering wheel and let adventure consume your life.

Most of the negativity in our life comes right out of our mouths. It’s like we try to make ourselves feel bad. I can’t do this, I can’t go there, I’m fat, I’m ugly etc. Stop kicking yourself down. Each and every one of us has a great potential inside and we crush it by holding ourselves back. Stop saying it’s impossible, stop saying you aren’t good enough and STOP GIVING UP ON THINGS YOU HAVEN’T TRIED! Let positivity enter your mind and you’ll see how much happier you’ll be.

Tomorrow. The incredible land where all our dreams, hopes, aspirations and beginnings exist. We’ll do everything tomorrow. That tomorrow should turn into now. You want a good grade? Open that book now. Want to lose weight? Start eating healthier now. You want that promotion? Start fighting for it now. You want to save your relationship? Talk to your partner now. Tomorrow is the future and you control it by your actions that are supposed to happen now!

Technology and development made it possible for us to acquire anything in a matter of seconds and, you maybe don’t believe it, but that speed and availability of everything is making us unhappy. We forgot that things take time. We forgot how to work for something because we expect everything to just be given to us. Get your lazy ass off of that couch and do something that isn’t bitching about not having what you want. If we don’t reach our goals in a matter of days we tend to lost faith and give up. Stop doing that, have patience and remind yourself that the harder you work for it the more it will pay off.

This is something that we all have in common and it’s called comparing. Not only do we make ourselves miserable by doing it but we can also become extremely depressed because of it. As soon as we see somebody having it better that us we start feeling deprived and get depressed. Stop comparing yourself to others because you’re not them. You don’t live their life. You are an individual and you should build your life by becoming better than the person you were yesterday not by becoming better than somebody else. Powerful people know how to appreciate their success and they don’t have the need to compare it to other to get validation that they are better. Remember that!

And lastly we make ourselves unhappy by not appreciating our mistakes the same way we appreciate our success. Mistakes are the only life lessons because no books can teach us what our mistakes can and we remember nothing like the things we did wrong so it is necessary for you to learn how to process it in a healthy way. If you made a mistake it doesn’t mean you have to sit down and cry about it. You should actually try to find a new approach to a problem, get creative and get more determined to make things work just to prove yourself that you can do it. Mistakes are lessons, not failures.

Hope I inspired at least one person to change something to become happier. Remember that you are your biggest project in life and you should never give up on yourself!

17 thoughts on “How do we make ourselves unhappy?

  1. Alan Watts would likely say,’We need to get out of our own way.’

  2. Always choose to be HAPPY! 😁

  3. I just wrote a piece about this topic, I’m happy our vibes are matching

  4. Technology has done some incredible harm.
    Though many do not realize this, but it has actually decreased human empathy levels.
    We find the dog or the cat to be more “sympathetic” or “compassionate” than the human, and this is due to “social media” creating that physical distance between us and another.
    So, I ask this, “We are always willing to pet the adorable dog, but are we ever willing to embrace another human?”
    People proudly call themselves “misanthropes” and constantly live in fear of betrayal to those they call “friends”. Loneliness and darkness has become a shade of normality.
    When humans love one another, they are inevitably modest. Love is not there for show, though “modern” weddings will reveal such splendor and glamour, in the utmost, when it comes to a relationship. A marriage should be quiet, not loud with quarrels. Though, such has occurred among families today, and with its unit broken due to the many movements of today’s time, no one is ever content.
    People want more. Dissatisfaction has become so prominent, that it seems the more people have, the less they believe they possess This creates apathy and a lack of fulfillment.
    Love is the ultimate fulfillment, and constant change creates endless dissatisfaction.
    Love makes the human stand where they are, look around them, and see that those they protect and those they love, are all they need.

    1. Love is always the answer 😀

  5. “Mistakes are lessons, not failures.” – a very wise saying.
    I enjoy your writing style. I hope I can be as prolific a writer as you are. Thank you.

    1. Thank you so much for your kind comment 😀

  6. 100% !!!!! I loved this post. Just brightened my whole day 🙂 I’M GOING TO MAKE THE DECISION TO BE HAPPY <3

    1. Yaaaaaay! So happy to hear that ❤

  7. Yes you did inspire me. “Mistakes are lessons, not failures.”, truly deep.

    1. I am so glad to read that 😀

  8. Hi Luna:
    Thank you for stopping by Bookshelf. I read a few of your posts, including the one about your name. I want to commend you on your courage and honesty about writing about your life. I reminded of William Faulkner’s beautiful, eloquent testimony on the duty of the writer: ” [Man] is immortal, not because he alone among creatures has an inexhaustible voice, but because he has a soul, a spirit capable of compassion and sacrifice and endurance. The poet’s, the writer’s, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart, by reminding him of the courage and honor and hope and pride and compassion and pity and sacrifice which have been the glory of his past. The poet’s voice need not merely be the record of man, it can be one of the props, the pillars to help him endure and prevail.” No human being should endure what you went through. But, sadly, life can be terribly unfair: we do not get to choose some of the people and circumstances of our lives. However, through the gift of free will, we do get to choose what we do in response to these individuals and situations. Your life is a heartwarming testament that one can walk through the darkness and emerge into the light of hope, of validation, of love — to find happiness in the simplest of things, situations, people, and ultimately oneself. Bookshelf is written for people like you who are curious, always learning, and seeking out wisdom wherever it may be found. Accordingly, I would like to introduce you to the story of Emmanuel — a remarkable little boy that I wrote about years ago that can teach us a great deal and inspire us to be better human beings.
    You can also find a number of illuminating posts by searching “Wisdom of” on Bookshelf.
    Cheers. Alex

  9. This was a very good read. A person may have everything and be happy but a person can also have nothing and be happy I really do feel a lot (not all) is a choice. you are right if we STOP worrying about what the Jones have we may just see what we have.

  10. So insightful! Great article!

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