Categories
My life

Shitty start of the week

Hello everyone! 

I am currently taking some vacation days off and do you know what is a shitty way to start our vacation and your weekHaving a 8AM appointment at your dentist. That my friends is a shitty way to start anything 

mean it’s not like I can go somewhere with the pandemic causing more problems in Croatia but still, I could’ve slept this morning instead of being at the dentist. Jus to give you a nice explanation of why I am complaining so much – I HATE DENTISTS.  

When I was a kid I actually punched my dentist. My mother had a blast raising me 😀

Do you know what I do not understand? These dentists and other doctors are supposed to be intelligent people. They can’t even tell time! They are like “this will take just one more second” and then proceed to drill your teeth like they are searching for gold for the next 20 minutes. Assholes.  

But I survived and so did the dentist. I did not punch this one for a change. I have another appointment on WednesdayVery excited about going through that shit again 

Currently, I am back home in Zabok and as soon as I step into my apartment, my publishing schedule on the blog goes out the window so I am sorry about this. I am just a bit spoiled and lazy when I get home but I will be up and publishing your lovely Poetry Bar works in no time.  

The good thing about today is that my online delivery is coming so I will be spending the rest of the day waiting for the GLS driver to come and make my day! I have been doing a little bit of winter shopping and I cannot wait to show you everything I got 

Have a lovely (dentist free) week! 

Sending love and positive vibes,
Luna 

Categories
My life

We hit 6000 subscribers!

Hello everyone!
Do you know who hit 6000 subscribers this week? WE DID!

I am so excited about us hitting another milestone and for me this will always be an “us” accomplishment  because this blog is being built by all of us together.

We started The Poetry Bar back in the day when this blog gathered 1000 subscribers and I never thought it would blew up the way it did. I was surprised by the positive response to the idea and am grateful for every single submission. The Poetry Bar counts 950+ posts. We are close to 1000 Poetry Bar submissions. We have also been posting for 700+ days in a row.

I never believed this blog that I started almost 5 years ago would be such an important part of my life. It’s a part of my routine. I get up in the morning, have my coffee and breakfast and then it’s blog time.

This blog helped me get out of my comfort zone in many different ways and I want to thank you all for the support you show for the works of each other and for mine as well.

I would really love to be more active on social media and I will work on that for you guys. Also, I am still coming up with ideas for the Youtube channel I started in order to publish my travel vlog and I hope I will have the time and resources to start working on it soon.

I think that there’s still a lot of things I want to work on when it comes to me as as blogger and a creator and a writer and I am so grateful to have such an amazing platform where we can grow and learn together.

Thank you <3

Categories
Coffee Date

Choose yourself

Everyone is so afraid of loneliness that we rarely become aware of the fact that we are actually never alone. While endless thoughts are flying through your head, you are not alone. Loneliness comes creeping up when we lose a friend, our family’s support, when we are single or when we just don’t feel connected to other people. Because of this we often “drown” ourselves so much in other people and please everyone just to keep them around that we become unaware of the damage we are causing to ourselves.

The problem of loneliness isn’t in not having anyone, it’s in not being aware that we have ourselves.

First you have to establish a healthy connection to yourself. You will know when that happens because in that moment loneliness will no longer be a problem and the silence won’t feel so creepy. It’s good to choose yourself. It’s good to work on yourself. It’s good to become a bit introverted in order to find your inner peace.

Putting your own needs ahead of everything else isn’t selfish – it’s necessary! People who will turn their backs on you for doing so don’t have your best interest in heart. I am not trying to say that you should shut the world out and only give yourself all of your attention. Be there for your family and friends but also think about your needs, put yourself as a priority and stop neglecting your needs and dreams. As long as you are not happy you will never be able to fully integrate yourself in the world and that feeling of loneliness will keep on haunting you.

If you are a career oriented person, sometimes you will have to cancel a coffee date or a night out in order to rest and have enough time for your work or studies. There’s no need to feel bad or left out because of it and if your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend criticize you about it that means that your wellbeing isn’t so important for them. Don’t keep your goals and plans quiet. Explain to others why you do what you do and those who sincerely care about you will support you and find a way to understand you.

Every now and then find a night to close the doors on the world, be alone, turn off the internet and work on yourself and on your inner peace, to make clear plans about reaching your goals. Don’t always cater to other people’s need and ignore yours. You are just as important as other people and on your list of priorities you have to write with big capital letters “ME”!

Categories
My life

The Story behind the name Luna – reblog

I’ve posted this story a while ago but I decided to repost it because I think that our new project when we reach 3000 followers will be centered around abuse stories. I am still working on the idea and I remembered this post so here I am sharing it again. If you would like to have this new project about abuse stories, let me know in the comments!

 

I have promised to make a post about the story behind the name Luna and today is the day. To be quite honest I’ve never told anyone why I use this name because it’s a very personal story but I decided to show courage and share it with everyone.

My real name is Ana and I got it by my grandmother. Originally my mother wanted to call me Julia but my father wanted for me to be Ana because my older sister got her name by our other grandmother and he wanted the same for me. Luna is the name I’ve used for many years for writing purposes and I came up with it when I was a little kid. To explain the whole story I have to go back to 1992.

As I stated in my Liebster Award post I’m actually of Bosnian origins. My family lived there for their entire life and then the war happened and my father fought in the war in Bosnia. During that time he got PTSD and started to drink heavily. My parents came to Germany after the war and 7 years later we came to Croatia. Due to my father’s mental problems he started to drink even more and got more and more abusive. He would beat the life out of my mother, sister and me and the police was a regular guest at our house. He developed an identity disorder and things only went downhill. Every time he would get drunk my mother would send me to my grandmother’s because it was unsafe to leave me alone with him. Because of the stressful situation we lived in I was a very nervous child, didn’t have an appetite, I was underweight and always ill because my immune system wasn’t very good. My mother, sister and I spent our days locked up in one room of our house because he would always attack and threaten to kill us if we went to use the kitchen or other parts of the house. Thankfully the bathroom was just on the opposite side of the room we were in so we could sneak to go to the bathroom. I even remember a little bit of a Christmas morning when my mother had to pay off all of my father’s drinking debts so we had no money to buy anything, my father was drunk again and my mother got up in the morning to make pancakes for me and my sister to eat. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning eating cold pancakes, locked up in one room. No Christmas tree, no presents. I would actually spend a lot of time alone in that room, watching Spanish telenovelas and writing my own stuff like scenarios for my telenovela and poems about the actors. It was a way to kill time and that’s how I fell in love with writing.

Where I’m from the winters are very cold and back in the day we had central heating. My father turned it off one day saying we don’t deserve to get warm and I got extremely ill afterwards.
One day I just woke up without the ability to breath normally, my head was hurting and I had a high fever. After visiting my doctor we found out my problem was bordering with pneumonia but the doctor didn’t want to put me in the hospital because it was dangerous for me to be exposed to so many bacteria and viruses since my immune system practically didn’t exist. My mother couldn’t send me to my grandmothers and couldn’t take days off of work to take care of me because she would have been fired. My older sister had to go to school so I was on my own. My mother would get my sister ready for school and before leaving she would put a bucket with a lid next to me if I needed to throw up and she would lock me up in the room so my father wouldn’t get in and harm me. Since he was drunk and I wasn’t making any noises he didn’t even know I was there so I was safe. My health condition was very bad. I spent 10 days literally sleeping. I don’t remember much of that time but I do remember this. One night I ran out of air and suddenly woke up. My mother was next to me and my sister was in the other bed. The first thing I saw at that moment was the full moon through the blinds. In that moment I felt so calm, like nothing could hurt me. I can’t even explain it.

Seeing the moon just gave me a strong bond to nature, helped me realize that not all is lost and made me believe that just like nature renews itself I will renew my health and get better. It was like a feeling that the sky was watching over me. It was all probably the product of my fever but that night created the name Luna. As I said I watched a lot of Spanish telenovelas so I decided to go with the name Luna when I started sending my work to magazines or publishing it online. Luna in Spanish, as many of you know, means the moon.

This was very hard for me to write because I don’t like to talk about my father but I thought it was time to open up more and be more honest on the blog because I would like to share my experiences with abuse with others and maybe help them if they are currently struggling with it. If you went through the same thing before or are going through it now and need someone to talk to feel free to DM me on my Instagram or send me an email on luna.theblog@gmail.com

Categories
Poems

Poem #200

I don’t like watching horror movies
because I lived in one.
I know monsters are very much real and
there’s something so human inside of them.
They just take and only give violence in return.
They have the “normal” person vibe but
behind closed doors they sow fear.
They are capable of destroying their own
flesh and blood. What’s more monstrous than that?
Why watch horror movies when there are
monsters roaming the Earth?

Categories
The Poetry Bar

Luna

Luna is you,

Luna is me,
Luna’s the white glint
Rolling over
The endless
Blackened sea.

It’s an equinox,
But also
A state of mind.

It’s a tranquil place
Where craterface
No longer
Is a derogatory expression.

Be a
Luna rock,
If you choose.

They’re light
And supple,
Free of
Weighted constraint.

My name is Eric, I’ve been writing seriously for about three years and have only recently gotten addicted to poetry (both writing and reading.). I’m the author of The Dioramist, a mid-twenties coming of age story about a writer who has lost faith in the defining on again/off again relationship of his life.  He struggles finding a balancing point for his passions, work, and love life.  I also have a debut poetry book coming out next week titled Strange Cars in the Night.

The link to my Word Press is: https://blankpagesofmine.wordpress.com
I am also on Instagram (blankpagesofmine) and Twitter (ekeegs815).

If you would like to have your work published in The Poetry Bar send your poem, a few words about yourself and the link to your blog to the e-mail poetrybar1@gmail.com 
Categories
Poems

Poem #100

They say that every seven years the
human body completely changes its skin.
It’s a comfort to hear.
Maybe in 7 years my love for you
will go together with the body
you held in your hands for so long.

They also claim that every 7 years
our hair is completely different.
Even better to hear.
In 7 years I won’t have the same hair
you smelled so passionately, the same
hair you played with every night
before going to sleep.

When will someone state that
every seven years we get brand new
feelings so I could have hope this
mess you left inside of me will heal or disappear.

Categories
My life

The story behind the name Luna

I have promised to make a post about the story behind the name Luna and today is the day. To be quite honest I’ve never told anyone why I use this name because it’s a very personal story but I decided to show courage and share it with everyone.
My real name is Ana and I got it by my grandmother. Originally my mother wanted to call me Julia but my father wanted for me to be Ana because my older sister got her name by our other grandmother and he wanted the same for me. Luna is the name I’ve used for many years for writing purposes and I came up with it when I was a little kid. To explain the whole story I have to go back to 1992.
As I stated in my Liebster Award post I’m actually of Bosnian origins. My family lived there for their entire life and then the war happened and my father fought in the war in Bosnia. During that time he got PTSD and started to drink heavily. My parents came to Germany after the war and 7 years later we came to Croatia. Due to my father’s mental problems he started to drink even more and got more and more abusive. He would beat the life out of my mother, sister and me and the police was a regular guest at our house. He developed an identity disorder and things only went downhill. Every time he would get drunk my mother would send me to my grandmother’s because it was unsafe to leave me alone with him. Because of the stressful situation we lived in I was a very nervous child, didn’t have an appetite, I was underweight and always ill because my immune system wasn’t very good. My mother, sister and I spent our days locked up in one room of our house because he would always attack and threaten to kill us if we went to use the kitchen or other parts of the house. Thankfully the bathroom was just on the opposite side of the room we were in so we could sneak to go to the bathroom. I even remember a little bit of a Christmas morning when my mother had to pay off all of my father’s drinking debts so we had no money to buy anything, my father was drunk again and my mother got up in the morning to make pancakes for me and my sister to eat. We spent Christmas Eve and Christmas morning eating cold pancakes, locked up in one room. No Christmas tree, no presents. I would actually spend a lot of time alone in that room, watching Spanish telenovelas and writing my own stuff like scenarios for my telenovela and poems about the actors. It was a way to kill time and that’s how I fell in love with writing.
Where I’m from the winters are very cold and back in the day we had central heating. My father turned it off one day saying we don’t deserve to get warm and I got extremely ill afterwards.
One day I just woke up without the ability to breath normally, my head was hurting and I had a high fever. After visiting my doctor we found out my problem was bordering with pneumonia but the doctor didn’t want to put me in the hospital because it was dangerous for me to be exposed to so many bacteria and viruses since my immune system practically didn’t exist. My mother couldn’t send me to my grandmothers and couldn’t take days off of work to take care of me because she would have been fired. My older sister had to go to school so I was on my own. My mother would get my sister ready for school and before leaving she would put a bucket with a lid next to me if I needed to throw up and she would lock me up in the room so my father wouldn’t get in and harm me. Since he was drunk and I wasn’t making any noises he didn’t even know I was there so I was safe. My health condition was very bad. I spent 10 days literally sleeping. I don’t remember much of that time but I do remember this. One night I ran out of air and suddenly woke up. My mother was next to me and my sister was in the other bed. The first thing I saw at that moment was the full moon through the blinds. In that moment I felt so calm, like nothing could hurt me. I can’t even explain it.

Seeing the moon just gave me a strong bond to nature, helped me realize that not all is lost and made me believe that just like nature renews itself I will renew my health and get better. It was like a feeling that the sky was watching over me. It was all probably the product of my fever but that night created the name Luna. As I said I watched a lot of Spanish telenovelas so I decided to go with the name Luna when I started sending my work to magazines or publishing it online. Luna in Spanish, as many of you know, means the moon.
This was very hard for me to write because I don’t like to talk about my father but I thought it was time to open up more and be more honest on the blog because I would like to share my experiences with abuse with others and maybe help them if they are currently struggling with it. If you went through the same thing before or are going through it now and need someone to talk to feel free to DM me on my Instagram or send me an email on luna.theblog@gmail.com

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter  LunaTheblog
Bloglovin Luna

 

Categories
Coffee Date

Where do the feelings go?

Once the clocks on our hearts strike end and once a relationship has no meaning or function in our life where does it all go? Where do the feelings go?

I remember a certain “Sex and the City” episode in which Carry asks the same question and then says that it goes to their new girlfriends. I’ve often disagreed with Carrie’s outfits and I sometimes agreed with her theories but this one is an exception. I disagree.

The after part of a relationship has two possible outcomes.

The first one is the classic breakup we are all familiar with. You break up, start avoiding each other, start talking behind each other backs, go through mourning phases, text  each other, start again, fail, have rebound phases and so on. Here the feelings still exist but you don’t know how to get rid of them so you are trying every single thing except for dealing with them in a healthy way because let’s be honest the healthy way is the extinct and boring way. Mostly you just try to prove that you are great and that the breakup meant nothing to you.

The second outcome is the fabulous let’s stay friends outcome. It’s not fabulous. It’s an overture for a disaster. Where there are feelings there will be weakness and there will be benefits. All of that leads to a drama more tangled than Rapunzel’s hair which will only end up in a fight. The whole concept of staying friends with benefits with you ex is completely stupid. It’s like being allergic to peanuts and eating a Snickers every day – it makes no sense. I should know because I was stupid enough to do it twice.

One of you broke off the relationship which means that the other one will feel the need to compensate for being abandoned. That person is often prone to pretending they have no feelings, trying to hurt you on purpose, acting like they own the world when they are actually miserable. One of you two will also be honest and just go with the flow. That person will develop some kind of feelings which will end up in sadness or rage.

Rage is my thing. I think it’s positive as long as people know how to point it in the right direction and what is most important – rage will make you make your breakup final. No strings attached, no emotions, no anything. Pure rage pointed to getting your life back on track. You will notice his/her flaws, you will realize what didn’t work and you will sure as hell be sure that the breakup was the right choice and, sometimes, you will realize the whole thing was just a strike. You will be fine with it when you realize you can’t change the past.

My advice to you is that you need to end things when they aren’t working out anymore. The more you keep on trying to build something out of nothing, the bigger the disaster in the end will be. When you click the X on your laptop you want to close something so do it in real life too.

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter LunaTheblog

Categories
Rules

Rule #5

rule 5

No matter how many people claim to know you and no matter how much you can rely on someone they will never be able to fight for you in the right way. I’m not talking about a man or a woman fighting for each other, I’m talking about people fighting for your dreams.

At the end of the day you will always be the one who knows best what you want in life, what you want to be and what you need to do to be it.

If you are going to bed miserable every night for something you did or let someone else do to you then you need to put on that cape and turn things around for yourself. And also refer to rule #4.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that you have to be there for you and you have to believe in you. When things get out of control, when it gets hard just save yourself.

Don’t forget to stalk me on Instagram, like me on Facebook and follow me on Twitter.
Facebook Luna
Instagram luna.theblog
Twitter LunaTheblog